tonight

[hexesandcurses]

So since my last post, where I got very upset and impulsively went to end it but decided to wait until I could make a more clear minded decision, I have been thinking and planning, weighing my options very carefully. And I've come to decide that I don't want to be here anymore.

With my current situation and my lack of resources or support and my own inability to look for positives anymore (I tried hard, for everyone) I just don't want to keep doing this. I hate the idea of sticking it out just to become resentful towards the little good I have left. I can't control the life I got dealt, but I can control my death.

So I'm hoping tonight I can finally ctb. And if not tonight then by the end of the week. I've got things for a partial hanging method (using the bags and tree ratchet strap) and I've even written my notes and prepared my things, as legally as I could without suspicion.

I want to thank everyone on this site if this ends up being my last night on here. This forum gave me the most genuine support I've felt in years. Your honesty, compassion, and belief in me has kept me going much longer than I thought I would. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you.

I hope you all find peace some day. Thank you.

 

[Popcornmew]

Im sorry things have come to this. I hope you can get your wish for peace

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings of wishing to be gone are understandable. I understand that it's tiring having to continue to endure an existence that is just endless misery. I wish you freedom from all suffering for when the time is right for you to leave.

 

[sleeps]

much luck to you in whatever you choose to do. may you find peace

 

[sadmeltie]

You'll be in a much better place then here I feel the same I hope I dont end up how you said resentful that scares me the most cause I genuinely love people and always try my best to match their expectations but sometimes they just ask too much to much I really hope you find your peace tho its hard to imagine what's in the afterlife but it HAS to be better then THIS life

 

[jodes2]

I'm glad you found peace and love here

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I hope peace finds you no matter what you end up doing.

 

[hexesandcurses]

You'll be in a much better place then here I feel the same I hope I dont end up how you said resentful that scares me the most cause I genuinely love people and always try my best to match their expectations but sometimes they just ask too much to much I really hope you find your peace tho its hard to imagine what's in the afterlife but it HAS to be better then THIS life

Thank you so much for your kind words! That's exactly how I feel, I don't want to ever become the kind of person who stops caring about other people and I feel like that's the road I'm on. I wish you the best of luck and hope you never lose your big heart.

 

[evolutionerror]

hoping the best for you no matter what happens.

 

[Outandproud]

How are you now kiddo? Hugs from my little place in this huge world

 

[almaranthine]

Wishing you peace from your suffering. I'm glad that this forum inspired you to not do anything impulsive you may have regretted.

 

[NeverEndingPain]

Sending you peace and love 🕊

 

[Shivali]