Venting Tonight has been the hardest in weeks

[alixisbonez]

I just spent an hour bawling my eyes out hyperventilating because I miss my mom sister and cats I feel like such a child for it but I really do miss my mom she kicked me out after I tried to kms when I got out of the hospital she didn't say bye or anything I simply got my stuff and headed on a train to my grandparents. She wouldn't let me say goodbye to my little sister or my cats I am upset with my mom but I still miss her so much she won't talk to me sometimes I wanna be a little kid again and cry in her arms and just be held no words just understanding silence I just need my mom

I thought about every one I, hurt with my mental health issues and how much trouble ive caused how ive permanently ruined my body my arms legs teeth stomach lining my brain every thing just to because I cant cope properly and to be thin witch in both, aspects failed I'm not, thin and it, didn't help me cope I'm just, fucked up I cried until I couldn't breathe
Every single thing I said made me cry more
I still can't sleep

 

[StoneBridge]

I just spent an hour bawling my eyes out hyperventilating because I miss my mom sister and cats I feel like such a child for it but I really do miss my mom she kicked me out after I tried to kms when I got out of the hospital she didn't say bye or anything I simply got my stuff and headed on a train to my grandparents. She wouldn't let me say goodbye to my little sister or my cats I am upset with my mom but I still miss her so much she won't talk to me sometimes I wanna be a little kid again and cry in her arms and just be held no words just understanding silence I just need my mom

I thought about every one I, hurt with my mental health issues and how much trouble ive caused how ive permanently ruined my body my arms legs teeth stomach lining my brain every thing just to because I cant cope properly and to be thin witch in both, aspects failed I'm not, thin and it, didn't help me cope I'm just, fucked up I cried until I couldn't breathe
Every single thing I said made me cry more
I still can't sleep

 

[alixisbonez]

:)

 

[Yellow_Water620]

You ain't alone. My mom also abandoned me, and funnily(well, i suppose not so funny) enough I also lost my cats. The love that one has for their parent is so pure, and she tried to discard it. It isn't indicative of you, it says more about her. You are not ruined. You can grieve the mother you wish you had. I know I do sometimes despite it all. You don't need someone like that in your life.

^^ cheers to better days