ironrain
Dark clouds are gathering
- Mar 2, 2026
- 98
Honestly, I'm already doubting it. I feel like I'm just a bad person, I shouldn't even be here. I'm so cringe, gosh. Anyway, I feel normal. It's just I'm looking for therapy for justification for me being a bitch and an insufferable person, and ctb for an easy way out.
Also I think I could easily get better and live a normal life but I want to suffer and don't want to do any work to improve my life. For some reason I don't want to be happy with what I can achieve. And I just love suffering and emotional self harm.
I have never been close to death but for me killing myself kinda feels like taking out trash. Like meh, useless anyway. The only thing that stops me is my family. Even my art doesn't really stop me anymore. But I don't want to traumatize my family just because I'm lazy and entitled.
So I'll see how it goes.
Also I think I could easily get better and live a normal life but I want to suffer and don't want to do any work to improve my life. For some reason I don't want to be happy with what I can achieve. And I just love suffering and emotional self harm.
I have never been close to death but for me killing myself kinda feels like taking out trash. Like meh, useless anyway. The only thing that stops me is my family. Even my art doesn't really stop me anymore. But I don't want to traumatize my family just because I'm lazy and entitled.
So I'll see how it goes.