Story Told my friends abt CTB

[cherrypickedcandy]

Tonight I had the last performance of the first show in the school year(big dawg senior yurrr) and I finally told my friends about my plans after graduation. I know it can't be stopped and I'm really glad I told them because this has been my plan since I was a kid. I didn't kinda mean to tell them but we were all just crying and saying good things about each other and then one of them said how much we make them belong and it just kinda came out. I love them so much and I think they have a right to know that it truly wasn't their fault, while I'm still here. One asked me to stay until after his mission trip and I wanna think about it, even if it's a hard no

 

[webb&flow]

<3<3 I'm glad your friends are supportive and loving .

I'm sorry to hear that such pain has hurt you; do you know any of the potential causes of your pain, even any theories or guesses?

then one of them said how much we make them belong and it just kinda came out.

this is a really beautiful and valuable thing to have in life ♥

i think bottling up all the emotions of suicidal ideation, pain, et cetera, is way more painful when we feel it alone . i think continuing to tell your friends about your suicidal ideations, emotions, reasons that drove the pain and your feelings on that pain in relation to your own life and what may not or may be possible, will seriously reduce the amount of pain in your own life .

what do you feel drives your suicidal ideation? ♥

 

[PersonBeforeLife]

Tonight I had the last performance of the first show in the school year(big dawg senior yurrr) and I finally told my friends about my plans after graduation. I know it can't be stopped and I'm really glad I told them because this has been my plan since I was a kid. I didn't kinda mean to tell them but we were all just crying and saying good things about each other and then one of them said how much we make them belong and it just kinda came out. I love them so much and I think they have a right to know that it truly wasn't their fault, while I'm still here. One asked me to stay until after his mission trip and I wanna think about it, even if it's a hard no

Plan since a kid. If you don't mind me asking. What happened?

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

Plan since a kid. If you don't mind me asking. What happened?

Yeah reading this raised the same question with me.

What he wrote sounds to me like a lovely life to have, really... I would kill for having those kinds of friends.

 

[SN;)]

Hi @cherrypickedcandy ,

I'm not someone who usually sees hope in a situation where there is none, but this story makes me unite to webb&flow's message. You're just about to graduate, so congrats on that! You might even have a chance to do something career-wise, no? Having friends with whom you just accidentally talk about personal feelings, sounds like another reason to stay in this life. I mean if you love them so much, you could stay and try it for them! Even if you're not happy with staying, they will be for sure happier if you stay.

 

[cherrypickedcandy]

Plan since a kid. If you don't mind me asking. What happened?

My mom was a teen mother so she never truly got to experience her teenage years, not to mention I'm a really bad financial burden right now due to all my mental health issues (especially with this economy) I also just generally don't feel like I have more to do on this earth. I've done basically everything I've wanted, I've already decided that relationships aren't something for me, I've experienced sex, I've been to fun parties, I've been to my dream country, I've had good friends, there's just not much else that happens in life. It's pretty repetitive once you can see the patterns. I promised myself in 3rd grade that If I managed to do all of this before graduation, id let myself go. And now I have. I've had a pretty good run and I think I just wanna go out on my own terms.

 

[PersonBeforeLife]

My mom was a teen mother so she never truly got to experience her teenage years, not to mention I'm a really bad financial burden right now due to all my mental health issues (especially with this economy) I also just generally don't feel like I have more to do on this earth. I've done basically everything I've wanted, I've already decided that relationships aren't something for me, I've experienced sex, I've been to fun parties, I've been to my dream country, I've had good friends, there's just not much else that happens in life. It's pretty repetitive once you can see the patterns. I promised myself in 3rd grade that If I managed to do all of this before graduation, id let myself go. And now I have. I've had a pretty good run and I think I just wanna go out on my own terms.

Wow I'm envious... Nearly 33 and I've done none of those things having effectively never lived thanks to getting pulled into a cult when I was young... Now I'm just desperately trying to have a life fearing I'm going to be an incel for life so my reasons are kinda the opposite of yours. More fear a lack of fulfilment rather than bored with fulfilment.

What you described sounds a bit like a midlife crisis just a very early one. Where you realise that you have peaked and it doesn't get any better it seems.