today's the day :)

[morimori]

i've thought about that, if i were allowed to live in a quiet pretty little town surrounded by nature and only myself, then i'd give life a chance. despite my mental instability, maybe it'd be fine. i wouldn't mind having no friends, be far away from the city, i'll be no burden nor a contribution to anything at all. its almost like being unalive. but that would only be a dream, reality's not so kind to allow that. under my circumstances i can't do that.. and if i were to run away, reality's awful. i would end up starving somewhere, be chased for running away.. and suffer. in the future im not entitled to have that either... life innit?.. it'd be lovely to just disappear.

Heyy this is one of my dreams too! I remember seeing a post of yours before about being from the same country as me, so I feel like I'm in the same boat as you, being in close proximity to so many beautiful areas but not being able to live in any of them. (MM is a hellhole lol)

I'm sorry that your plan didn't work out the way you wanted it to. Please take the next few days to rest and care for yourself as best as you can.

 

[immutable.variable]

i've rented a place to stay, a little far from my city... i've been planning to ctb in my home but its been hard with the family around and the thought that they'd remember me there... i did tons of attempts for partial hanging in my room, but its really hard to push through unlike full suspension, so. this is really it. thanks for everything, and to everyone, keep on fighting, i? i'm really tired, and im just glad. i really get to sleep now... goodbye :)

oh and, i just hate that this will be news...

Rest peacefully friend.