Todays my last day

[a65b]

Tomorrow im going to end it all. Im going to spend my last day in nature mostly and tonight i want to drive to a remote location that has no light polution so i can stargaze. Im really sad that i have to die, i wish i could live but i dont see another way. I already finished writing my note. I tried to write it in a way that makes me seem like a really big asshole, my hope was that if i do this maybe the people i care for wont be as heartbroken. It probably wont work but its worth a try. I always knew i would die young, but not at 19. i thought id at least make it to 21. Whatever, dont even know why im making this post here.

 

[tonicer]

I hope the afterlife is nice and i get to see you some day.

 

[fishperson]

at 9 caught me out of guard ngl

 

[T22222222]

Tomorrow im going to end it all. Im going to spend my last day in nature mostly and tonight i want to drive to a remote location that has no light polution so i can stargaze. Im really sad that i have to die, i wish i could live but i dont see another way. I already finished writing my note. I tried to write it in a way that makes me seem like a really big asshole, my hope was that if i do this maybe the people i care for wont be as heartbroken. It probably wont work but its worth a try. I always knew i would die young, but not at 9. i thought id at least make it to 21. Whatever, dont even know why im making this post here.

wait you're 9?

 

[a65b]

wait you're 9?

at 9 caught me out of guard ngl

im 19, just a typo

 

[darksouls]

love and peace to you my friend

 

[Chronical_Suicidal]

Hope you find relief from your suffering. You're young, but there isn't a certain age to end things up. If the time has indeed come, leave this world in the most peaceful way possible.

 

[krsm98]

im sry things turned out to br this way, may you finally find some peace and relieved from your suffering

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace from suffering, I wish you the best.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

So young.. I'm sorry life hasn't been kind to you. I wish you nothing but peace no matter what it looks like.

 

[vascomorrow]

Tomorrow im going to end it all. Im going to spend my last day in nature mostly and tonight i want to drive to a remote location that has no light polution so i can stargaze. Im really sad that i have to die, i wish i could live but i dont see another way. I already finished writing my note. I tried to write it in a way that makes me seem like a really big asshole, my hope was that if i do this maybe the people i care for wont be as heartbroken. It probably wont work but its worth a try. I always knew i would die young, but not at 19. i thought id at least make it to 21. Whatever, dont even know why im making this post here.

Don't do it man. You still have a long way to go

 

[rabbitjack]

Sad to hear this, especially since you're at such a young age. Maybe there's another way to remove your pain?

What's your method and are you sure of its success?

 

[copioushopelessness]

Stargazing sounds really nice. Blizzard here.
You say you wish you could live, you have the choice.
Why don't you see another way? What's wrong? (Only if you want to talk about it of course)
You're young. Try to enjoy some life before you go. What's something you really wanted to do?
The people you care for will be heartbroken whether or not you make yourself sound like an asshole. Chances are they know your good and bad and love you for you.
Go peep the scenery, take some time to really think about it.

 

[lolkid66]

Ctb is a really big personal decision, and you don't have to do it if ur not ready yet!

 

[a65b]

update: i failed, i wanted to die by injecting fentadope (heroin mixed with fentanyl). ive done this dozens of times before but when i was about to do it my hand started trembling a lot and it was too shaky to inject, i wasnt able to hold the syringe steady enough to do it. i tried 3 times in total today but each time i failed each time. i feel so defeated, im a failure. i cant even get this right. i can never win

 

[meddle]

update: i failed, i wanted to die by injecting fentadope (heroin mixed with fentanyl). ive done this dozens of times before but when i was about to do it my hand started trembling a lot and it was too shaky to inject, i wasnt able to hold the syringe steady enough to do it. i tried 3 times in total today but each time i failed each time. i feel so defeated, im a failure. i cant even get this right. i can never win

thats ok, buddy. you are not a failture. killing yourself is a very hard thing to do, we are literally biologically programmed to not to kill ourselves. so its normal to fear death. and that you couldnt do it only means that its not your time to go yet. that you can still try to do something to improve your situation, that there is still hope for you. you can always try to ctb later, this option is not going anywhere