lohre2000s
Loser/Coward
- May 31, 2026
- 19
Good night everyone. I want to talk a little bit about today.
It was worthless.
Matter of fact it was so worthless that I have nothing really specific to say. The only highlight was me going to the karaoke and singing my brains out to Total Eclipse of a Heart and My Chemical Romance.
What I did realize during this singing was rather unfortunate tho... I am being kept alive by an illusion of "purpose". I don't really know how I got to this point, but essentially I somehow carved into my own mind that I want to be sort of a (wait for it...) "savior" of the losers like me.
I think everything bad that happened to me was my fault. People are often kind to me, I don't have a problem with them, and during school and college I never suffered bullying - with the exception of a few unfortunate nicknames here and there - I was just ignored. I was invisible.
At 24 years old, after my mother's death and in a completely different country I realize that I am as a matter of fact a loser. Perhaps it is my fault. Perhaps it isn't. I don't know and I don't care to know, I just accepted I am a loser.
The movies that enchant me the most are often about miserable people too, my only friend frequently mocks me (in a very friendly way) about this. I started wondering why, and once again I connected the dots leading to the same conclusion of me too being miserable/broken/whatever else you want to call it.
I want to be able to help people like me, sort of a "losers against the world" movement? Fuck... I'm so childish... this sounds so stupid, my God!
Well, this is what I realized. I dream of this notion of a savior for broken people. I dream of uniting people like me and not "fix" ourselves, but make it just a little more bearable for us.
Once again, I am most aware of how childish this is. It is stupid. It is probably cringe,corny or whatever the word kids nowadays use on the social media. Do I care? I don't know, honest. I just know that this is all that keeps me moving - even though I make none to little progress on this idea daily.
It was worthless.
Matter of fact it was so worthless that I have nothing really specific to say. The only highlight was me going to the karaoke and singing my brains out to Total Eclipse of a Heart and My Chemical Romance.
What I did realize during this singing was rather unfortunate tho... I am being kept alive by an illusion of "purpose". I don't really know how I got to this point, but essentially I somehow carved into my own mind that I want to be sort of a (wait for it...) "savior" of the losers like me.
I think everything bad that happened to me was my fault. People are often kind to me, I don't have a problem with them, and during school and college I never suffered bullying - with the exception of a few unfortunate nicknames here and there - I was just ignored. I was invisible.
At 24 years old, after my mother's death and in a completely different country I realize that I am as a matter of fact a loser. Perhaps it is my fault. Perhaps it isn't. I don't know and I don't care to know, I just accepted I am a loser.
The movies that enchant me the most are often about miserable people too, my only friend frequently mocks me (in a very friendly way) about this. I started wondering why, and once again I connected the dots leading to the same conclusion of me too being miserable/broken/whatever else you want to call it.
I want to be able to help people like me, sort of a "losers against the world" movement? Fuck... I'm so childish... this sounds so stupid, my God!
Well, this is what I realized. I dream of this notion of a savior for broken people. I dream of uniting people like me and not "fix" ourselves, but make it just a little more bearable for us.
Once again, I am most aware of how childish this is. It is stupid. It is probably cringe,corny or whatever the word kids nowadays use on the social media. Do I care? I don't know, honest. I just know that this is all that keeps me moving - even though I make none to little progress on this idea daily.
) mostly with the elderly
