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I encourage you to start making some new friends of all ages between 18 and 81
. Make some older friends, it's good to have a few friends in each decade of life, going several decades up (and when you're older, also going several decades down but stopping at 18 lol). It's a good way to broaden one's perspective & keep learning about people in different generations & stages of life & their views of things.
I would if I could
I do have older friends, obviously. I appreciate the sentiment though.I encourage you to start making some new friends of all ages between 18 and 81
It's legal, and therefore that girl was deliberately leading you on to try to hurt you, even though you didn't do anything actually wrong. Don't let those morons get in your head.
And if it's concentual without any manipulation... Especially as I think in some countries the legal age is 16?I don't want to trigger anyone who might feel differently, but sexting someone who is 17 when you're 20 isn't pedophilia. I think most reasonable humans would agree.
You can find new friends, forget you ever knew them. This is nothing to CTB over.
I jumped 8 stories
I jumped 8 stories and survived. I woke up after a week coma, spent 3 months in hospital/rehab. I have life altering injures and scars. Everyone asks me what happened to me. I'm a walking (barely) failure and my trauma is visible, and will be for the rest of my life! I have lost friends and...sanctioned-suicide.net
Noelia Castillo euthanasia case - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
Yes, yes, & yes.
Somehow Sasu is the least toxic place I know of online and yet... Everyone wants to ban itTwitter (and most social media for that matter) is a cancerous shitheap. Get off of it. I read your OP and personally I would seriously reconsider; I don't think this is worth ending your life over. You're only 20. You're hardly an adult yourself. I know life fucking sucks but you still have time on your side and this life is so random and chaotic and while most of it is bad there are some who are able to eventually find the good in it all and find things worth holding on for. You are not irredeemable. You are not a monster. Hell like it's a 3-year age gap, who cares? It's nothing really. I hope you are able to overcome this and you can look back on this someday and be glad you didn't make any rash decisions on impulse.
But if you are actually intent on ending it all today, and you are absolutely set on doing this, well, I hope you find peace.
... Make it make sense...
thank you. im dead set on it. at least I hope.Twitter (and most social media for that matter) is a cancerous shitheap. Get off of it. I read your OP and personally I would seriously reconsider; I don't think this is worth ending your life over. You're only 20. You're hardly an adult yourself. I know life fucking sucks but you still have time on your side and this life is so random and chaotic and while most of it is bad there are some who are able to eventually find the good in it all and find things worth holding on for. You are not irredeemable. You are not a monster. Hell like it's a 3-year age gap, who cares? It's nothing really. I hope you are able to overcome this and you can look back on this someday and be glad you didn't make any rash decisions on impulse.
But if you are actually intent on ending it all today, and you are absolutely set on doing this, well, I hope you find peace.
Seriously id seek help. This still feels too impulsive without closure to know for certain life cannot improve. I mean I know it's rich coming from me as one of my attempts were caused from a page in a textbook being more complicated than I thought it would be except... I've been wanting to die for years so anything pushes me over... I always default to a suicide attempt for anything... Giving up is my default after YEARS of failure.
you are a normal person. I am a groomer pedophile. I am not redeemable.
thank you. I will be attempting now.however you decide,
I wish you the best, I hope you find the peace you desire
thats fair. sorry if I seemed rude in my messages or anything. I really didnt mean to.Im a normal person
Have you seen my suicide letter I posted?
I'll put it here for you. Please tell me how any of this is normal?
Also I hope it gets to be my Epitaph for my tomb stone if I'm privileged enough to get one:
I finally took control of my life and succeeded and achieved the ultimate promotion that matters the most.
Even if I wasn't too broken my life simply is. It's impossible to heal in a vacuum. Everyday the failure of meaningful success especially in romance gets heavier and heavier as I realise more and more how little space this world has for me. I am simply part of the too many. The noise in a crowd trying to get noticed by life.
I am a negative variable. Subtracting myself can only increase the total.
I do not see a future worth enduring for. Men only receive flowers on their graves. The world rejected me. Catastrophically. It didn't just deny me success; it denied me the basic texture of connection.
My return on investment for what I put into life and what I get back gets worse and worse. Thought I had a breakthrough as I met very keen professors only to humilate myself. Like in grave of the fireflies... That strife and striving never lead to prosperity and death before strife would have been a humane mercy.
Is it really worth striving so hard just for a journey for the same end. the world had already shown me everything it has to offer, and none of it is worth staying for. As the silence of my unlived life becomes a scream.
I guess the damage from the cult both to me but especially to my life is irreparable as extraordinary failures just collect endlessly. Diagnosed by a psychiatrist as delusional as well.
I'm 33 and I don't have a single meaningful success in my life. Not 1. In fact my life feels so cursed I question the hand of a higher power running some kind of cruel experiment rather than just random misfortune. I was born very premature and if only I had died in birth, but a premature birth I suspect is part of the cause of my defects. Excluding the adversity everyone else goes through a cult where I was told that god would judge me for my thoughts so not even my thoughts were my own for my golden developmental years and hit by lightning twice and my father who was suicidal and mentally unstable Infront of me. Bitten by a rat in the face on my own bed while asleep requiring traumatic rabies treatment. Bitten by a dog on my birthday, wronged by another dog and denied justice when it took my irreplaceable cat Zinzi from me and I could take no legal action to seek justice, because I as a human being had less rights than that dog in seeking justice... A perfect example of my lifes worth... It's truly extraordinary. It's difficult to believe I wasn't setup to fail from the very beginning. And to top it off hit by a tornado while in a car, in South Africa... Where tornadoes are extremely rare. And where to survive all that only to realise I'm a dinosaur in a world that statistically doesn't want or need me as I'm purely just a surplus taking up resources. Intervention is only prolonging suffering. And so after learning to let go of a world that had no use for me I attain a greater permanence.
Years out of the cult and I haven't been able to rebuild my life. And each day that gets heavier and heavier. If anyone wonders why I'm in a race against time this is it. Because every week that goes past my fate of romantic isolation and progress stagnation becomes more and more absolute. Whatever I cannot achieve now I definitely will never be able to achieve later. You cannot heal in a life you loath. I'm just noise in the background of other people's lives.
To my defence I tried everything. More than a year of psychologists and psychiatrists, institutionalization in hospital and successfully stabilized.
But none of that could fix a life which I had hoped did not follow me from South Africa but it did even though I tried so hard to flee from it. The fundamentals of life did not change in my favour. I am still part of the too many on this planet. Supply and demand are very clear here. I doubt I belong anywhere. Telling someone to love themselves when they've been systematically unloved is a cruel joke.
I went over some literature of WW1 survivers and after the war for many of them it just sounds like they had to survive a post war conflict having lost too much to even dream of living where an early grave is the greatest release they can have to free themselves from their trauma. A soldier who cannot find a new mission will eventually turn his weapon on the only objective left: himself. Or he will simply cease to be.
And so if given the choice to choose when to self euthanase... That is the most important question, and the answer is not a date on a calendar or a specific event. It is not when things get a little better, or a little worse. It is a feeling of finality. A deep, resonant certainty that has settled into my bones. It is the moment I realize that the hope for a different life, a life without this constant, grinding weight, is no longer a possibility. It is when the very thought of enduring another week, another month, another year of this despair feels more unbearable than the finality of the alternative. It is when the peace i have been imagining is no longer a distant dream, but the only tangible reality left within my grasp.
This is not an end but a completion... This is not an end but a return to a state of being before I was alive... before I was born...A peace I have long forgotten... perhaps a peace I've been searching for my whole life without even knowing it...The quite of a final gentle release... This is an act of reclamation...of taking my peace back from a world that has consistently refused to give it...
===================================
Ok. A 3yr difference. With someone concenting who's of a legal age in some countries.
Let's test here and now if you are a pedo or not.
Do you find either of these images sexualy attractive? I bet not? Point made?
View attachment 209098
View attachment 209097
Someone can be young and look adult enough to pass as an adult. Why the hell you think they need to see ID to sell alcohol or cigarettes?
thank you
Sounds not like pedophilia at all to me if it was all consensual. Just some artificial age norms that came in the way of you 2.
having read a little more it indeed sounds like they even set you up. Even less reason to deem yourself responsible for what happened.
Those people don't seem like they are actually your friends. Also social media is never a good place to take advice from on these matters. People are incredibly toxic on there and stuck in horrendous belief systems.
Honestly, fuck them. They are objectively clueless.
Kind of glad to read that and it seems your survival instinct really saved you from a hasty irrational decision that you would have regretted in the long run (assuming it wouldn't have worked out to actually ctb, which seems likely from what you described earlier).
thank you bith so much. I talked to two friends who are on my side and i feel a lot better. im going to drink water and wash my face. sorry again.
I'm glad you have people to talk to and have calmed down a bit. I have known people with large regrets (and criminal charges) that have come back and live good lives. I know this is rough right now. Give yourself time.
Similarly in Germany:
