today is the day. i hope. thank you sasu

[smirks00ts]

Spoiler: cw for pedophilia mention

im jumping off a bridge today. I give up. i had everything but I ruined it because I never kept it in my pants and sexted a minor without thinking twice about it. I am 20. they were 17. i thoight it was fine and they lead me on and i got exposed on twitter after it. i feel nothing but guilt. I lost everyone close to me again. I do not want to live anymore.



I dont care that its not high enough either. I want it to end today. I cannot bring myself to live anymore. I cant even defend myself because I dont deserve it. I am nothing but a cursed troglodyte since my birth.



I go to college at 10 am. the moment im done with classes, im going to say my last words no matter how pointless, throw away my phone and jump right behind it. i dont care what happens anymore, my medicine has made me numb enough.



if I somehow fail, and I truly hope not. I will disappear from the world until I can afford SN or actually die. But I hope I succeed, even being disabled would be a good fate for someone like me.



Please do not feel bad for me. I am the lowest of the lows and i deserve nothing but the worst. I hope you are all doing well. I cannot find the words to say anything else. I am sorry.



its 6 am and i cannot bring myself to sleep. goodbye for now. ill update if I can.

 

[stupid trans guy]

Im sorry you had to go through that.. i wish you peace, and the right outcome ml

 

[kurgan]

you are not a paedophile,

 

[smirks00ts]

you are not a paedophile,

I woke up to multiple dms and replies on Twitter saying I am a groomer and many of my friends telling me to kill myself. we also roleplayed a little bit and i never bothered to realize what I was doing was wrong. so I think I am one at this point. i would show you the thread but the account got suspended for some.reason.

Im sorry you had to go through that.. i wish you peace, and the right outcome ml

thank you for the nice words but please do not feel bad for me

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I don't want to trigger anyone who might feel differently, but sexting someone who is 17 when you're 20 isn't pedophilia. I think most reasonable humans would agree.

You can find new friends, forget you ever knew them. This is nothing to CTB over.

I jumped 8 stories

I jumped 8 stories and survived. I woke up after a week coma, spent 3 months in hospital/rehab. I have life altering injures and scars. Everyone asks me what happened to me. I'm a walking (barely) failure and my trauma is visible, and will be for the rest of my life! I have lost friends and...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Noelia Castillo euthanasia case - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[smirks00ts]

I still cannot sleep. ive been going through all my dms and mentions as a way to harm myself snd numb myself until then. its upsetting. but its whatever at this point.

I already wrote a thread to somehow address it all, but considering everyone blocked me im probably just talking to a wall at this point.

its funnt how I thought everything finally god better snd one stupid retarded mistake bevause im a horny dipshit ruined it all. I wish I wasnt so fucking retarded and autistic. maybe im considering overdosing on my sterapro / Lexapro before I go.

I don't want to trigger anyone who might feel differently, but sexting someone who is 17 when you're 20 isn't pedophilia. I think most reasonable humans would agree.

You can find new friends, forget you ever knew them. This is nothing to CTB over.

I jumped 8 stories

I jumped 8 stories and survived. I woke up after a week coma, spent 3 months in hospital/rehab. I have life altering injures and scars. Everyone asks me what happened to me. I'm a walking (barely) failure and my trauma is visible, and will be for the rest of my life! I have lost friends and...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Noelia Castillo euthanasia case - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

I'm sorry but I wouldn't say this is true. it doesnt help this isnt my first time sadly, I had problems witj it but I always kept it cool. the other person forgave me though and we are friends ( at least I think. they blocked me on my priv. i dont know what they think of me now. )

it doesnt help my ex partners and friends are finding my new identity on there and i was seriously feeling like I finally found people who get me, only for it to disappear. this eas my chance to rebuild after isolating for the entire year bevause of it and i ruined it like an idiot.

tell anyone on the street or online that 17 and 20 isnt pedophilia. you probably would be mocked to death or come back with a lot of bruises. im sorry if I sound mean but im just being reasonable at this point . I am sorry.

 

[kurgan]

I woke up to multiple dms and replies on Twitter saying I am a groomer and many of my friends telling me to kill myself. we also roleplayed a little bit and i never bothered to realize what I was doing was wrong. so I think I am one at this point. i would show you the thread but the account got suspended for some.reason.

Mate, don't let people on Twitter convince you that you're some kind of monster. You're 20 and she's 17. That age gap is nothing. People online can be absolutely vicious, and most of theses fucks are just looking for someone to attack.

 

[smirks00ts]

Mate, don't let people on Twitter convince you that you're some kind of monster. You're 20 and she's 17. That age gap is nothing. People online can be absolutely vicious, and most of theses fucks are just looking for someone to attack.

He.

I really appreciate you trying to help but most of my life is online. if you read my other responses you can tell this isnt my first time and i was trying to rebuild after I got exposed at some point. but another guy i hurt forgave me and we are friends ( for now. at least ).

Even outside of Twitter, If you told a dude on the street that you sexted a minor and talked about NSFW shit with them even without realizing and not thinking twice, I don't think they would be kind to you.

I am really sorry if I sound stupid but considering I grew up on this culture growing up and getting canceled for some random stuff when I was a kid, alongside not having a worthwhile life outside of the web. you would probably get how I feel.

It doesnt help it was late night for me when it happened so I had to sleep and if you dont respond in less than a minute online youre a monster forever and csnt defend yourself at all.

Trust me, ive been there.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I still cannot sleep. ive been going through all my dms and mentions as a way to harm myself snd numb myself until then. its upsetting. but its whatever at this point.

I already wrote a thread to somehow address it all, but considering everyone blocked me im probably just talking to a wall at this point.

its funnt how I thought everything finally god better snd one stupid retarded mistake bevause im a horny dipshit ruined it all. I wish I wasnt so fucking retarded and autistic. maybe im considering overdosing on my sterapro / Lexapro before I go.

I'm sorry but I wouldn't say this is true. it doesnt help this isnt my first time sadly, I had problems witj it but I always kept it cool. the other person forgave me though and we are friends ( at least I think. they blocked me on my priv. i dont know what they think of me now. )

it doesnt help my ex partners and friends are finding my new identity on there and i was seriously feeling like I finally found people who get me, only for it to disappear. this eas my chance to rebuild after isolating for the entire year bevause of it and i ruined it like an idiot.

tell anyone on the street or online that 17 and 20 isnt pedophilia. you probably would be mocked to death or come back with a lot of bruises. im sorry if I sound mean but im just being reasonable at this point . I am sorry.

You are mistaken. You're going through something traumatic & you are not seeing this clearly. You're not thinking about it rationally. It sounds like trauma induced paranoia/psychosis. You're experiencing an acute mental health emergency, and I hope you'll treat it as such & reach out to someone. Go to the ER. I'm sorry that you still know so very little about the world that that's what you think the average person thinks of 17 & 20. It's not. Live longer and you'll learn that. You'll learn that ultimately, this isn't going to impact you at all. A few years from now, it can be just an unpleasant memory of something you learned from and put behind you. This is how people learn, grow, and evolve.

 

[smirks00ts]

You are mistaken. You're going through something traumatic & you are not seeing this clearly. You're not thinking about it rationally. It sounds like trauma induced psychosis. You're experiencing an acute mental health emergency, and I hope you'll treat it as such & reach out to someone. Go to the ER. I'm sorry that you still know so very little about the world that that's what you think the average person thinks of 17 & 20. It's not. Live longer and you'll learn that. You'll learn that ultimately, this isn't going to impact you at all. A few years from now, it can be just an unpleasant memory of something you learned from and put behind you. This is how people learn, grow, and evolve.

yeah, right. and if I wanted to draw again online some dipshit would say wow cool art!!!! remember when you groomed minors??? and no matter what people would tell me thst I am worth literal pigshit. I csnt live with that. im too much of a coward. I went through too much loss throughout my life to handle ir anymore.

I cant go to the ER. im not american. and im not panicking or anything. I feel nothing on my bed. I cant even cry. at this point I practically eish someone would break in and kill me. the world would be way better without another abuser

I practically feel on the verge of.tears. I csnt even say sorry thru an alt because ill just be called s creep

 

[EternalShore]

Twitter is not real~ Putting my own morals aside, 17 and 20 is not what you/they say it is~ If you lived in the same place, you could've likely went to high school together~ heck, they probably did it just to get attention from both sides~ >_< Anyways, pls don't injure yourself (given that it isn't high enough) for no reason~

Regardless, should you still wish to~ See ya~ I wish you the best and will pray for you~ :)

 

[smirks00ts]

Twitter is not real~ Putting my own morals aside, 17 and 20 is not what you/they say it is~ If you lived in the same place, you could've likely went to high school together~ heck, they probably did it just to get attention from both sides~ >_< Anyways, pls don't injure yourself (given that it isn't high enough) for no reason~

Regardless, should you still wish to~ See ya~ I wish you the best and will pray for you~

I am in my third year of college.

I am just...really confused. why are you all telling me its okay...its clearly not? im literally going through hell and back thru it and I cant even address it to my remaining friends and followers. because im scared. why are you all so calm
I mean I am i practically feel nothing rn. but...im sorry I genuinely expected you guys would cheer for my ctb like any normal person online would and call me a disgusting freak.

if I was a minor at least I would have some grace but now im a full grown man. I have no excuses.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

yeah, right. and if I wanted to draw again online some dipshit would say wow cool art!!!! remember when you groomed minors??? and no matter what people would tell me thst I am worth literal pigshit. I csnt live with that. im too much of a coward. I went through too much loss throughout my life to handle ir anymore.

I cant go to the ER. im not american. and im not panicking or anything. I feel nothing on my bed. I cant even cry. at this point I practically eish someone would break in and kill me. the world would be way better without another abuser

I practically feel on the verge of.tears. I csnt even say sorry thru an alt because ill just be called s creep

Are you sure this wasn't a setup by people who know how vulnerable you are?

Get offline. It's not real life. I know that you think it is, but it doesn't have to be. Don't make it your life. Things can't have power over you if you don't pay them any attention. So don't.

We are saying it's nothing to CTB over because it isn't. Not even close. Not in the slightest. You've been brainwashed by the trolls.

 

[smirks00ts]

Are you sure this wasn't a setup by people who know how vulnerable you are?

Get offline. It's not real life. I know that you think it is, but it doesn't have to be, if you don't make it your life. Things can't have power over you if you don't pay them any attention. So don't.

We are saying it's nothing to CTB over because it isn't. Not even close. Not in the slightest. You've been brainwashed by the trolls.

I'm seriously sorry if I sound too rude. its just a lot for me right now.

Part of me feels like its a setup. they could've just told me they weren't comfortable because i asked multiple times. but they kept it going and the moment I got vulnerable enough, they sent some corny ass gif with the caption "Take a seat, pedo" and IMMEDIATELY blocked me everywhere and started posting. but I dont know anymore.

I am a bit vulnerable right now and it doesnt help that I have RSD. I hope you can forgive me.

 

[fadedghost]

I really appreciate you trying to help but most of my life is online. if you read my other responses you can tell this isnt my first time and i was trying to rebuild after I got exposed at some point. but another guy i hurt forgave me and we are friends ( for now. at least ).

This is a terrible reason to commit suicide. You are in crisis and are being irrational. You need help. Seriously. Go to an ER and get hospitalized if you are sure you will otherwise attempt. Or call 988, which I am usually iffy about because it can lead to involuntary care and large hospital bills, but this is not rational thinking.

 

[Playingwiththedead]

I still cannot sleep. ive been going through all my dms and mentions as a way to harm myself snd numb myself until then. its upsetting. but its whatever at this point.

I already wrote a thread to somehow address it all, but considering everyone blocked me im probably just talking to a wall at this point.

its funnt how I thought everything finally god better snd one stupid retarded mistake bevause im a horny dipshit ruined it all. I wish I wasnt so fucking retarded and autistic. maybe im considering overdosing on my sterapro / Lexapro before I go.

I'm sorry but I wouldn't say this is true. it doesnt help this isnt my first time sadly, I had problems witj it but I always kept it cool. the other person forgave me though and we are friends ( at least I think. they blocked me on my priv. i dont know what they think of me now. )

it doesnt help my ex partners and friends are finding my new identity on there and i was seriously feeling like I finally found people who get me, only for it to disappear. this eas my chance to rebuild after isolating for the entire year bevause of it and i ruined it like an idiot.

tell anyone on the street or online that 17 and 20 isnt pedophilia. you probably would be mocked to death or come back with a lot of bruises. im sorry if I sound mean but im just being reasonable at this point . I am sorry.

Im not going to tell you to keep living because i know the pain of being on earth is horrible but i will say the WORST online drama i have ever got in had been on Twitter, and several times. They love to go apeshit over nothing and bully people to the point that you are in, its an actual thing, and none of what is happening to you is unique or rational. If you want to keep using the app just deactivate and come back with a new account under a new alias do one of those mutual hunting introduction posts and everyone will forget and you will be fine because what people are attacking you for is not something any normal person would care about

This is a terrible reason to commit suicide. You are in crisis and are being irrational. You need help. Seriously. Go to an ER and get hospitalized if you are sure you will otherwise attempt.

This i would not encourage whatsoever. Sometimes feelings go away you know! Lets not walk them into a psych ward trap

 

[windydays]

I went through something similar. Difference being that it was purely romantic and not sexual, the age-gap was a decade, and luckily no one I know in real life found out because I kept my life private from that person, but the people she knew still attacked me despite our relationship being legal.

I considered suicide in the moment because of the disgust I felt with myself, and I considered suicide if it leaked to my family in the future.
However, the thing that stopped me and kept me sane was constantly rationalizing in my head that I didn't necessarily do anything wrong and forcing myself to not look at her blogs about me anymore.

Regardless of your decision to CTB or not, I also am in agreement that you did nothing wrong. People are inhuman when it comes to this stuff and they'll use your good nature and weak moments to their advantage to make you feel worthless and to make themselves feel good. If your friends abandoned you over this, then you simply need better friends.

I wish you the best.

 

[EternalShore]

yeah, right. and if I wanted to draw again online some dipshit would say wow cool art!!!! remember when you groomed minors???

alt accounts are nice for when people start harass you~ :) just flip-flop accounts a bunch~ maybe bring a few friends from a prior account voer, but otherwise, you can make it nearly entirely new~ :) you can't really do this in a small fandom, but if you're in a small fandom, you may as well leave it because everyone hates you anyways unfortunately~ >_<

 

[softfur]

Part of me feels like its a setup. they could've just told me they weren't comfortable but they kept it going and the moment I got vulnerable enough, they sent some corny ass gif with the caption "Take a seat, pedo" and IMMEDIATELY blocked me everywhere and started posting. but I dont know anymore.

DUDE are you kidding that's fucking ridiculous behavior. yeah i'm sorry they were definitely acting in poor faith.

I am a bit vulnerable right now and it doesnt help that I have RSD. I hope you can forgive me.

I'm not being patronizing or wtvr but knowing this really adds a lot for me, though I don't want to admit it i proobably have RSD and have related to the sentiments you've been expressing... you don't need to submit to these people, please do not try to appeal to them. you will not make them happy. honestly if you DID kill yourself, they'd probably accuse you of faking it. and most of all it would not help anyone, would not protect any victims or future victims because you didn't victimize anyone. my rsd or whatever it is is why i'm not on any mainstream socmed and i highly encourage you to find somewhere to be that's not twitter, be that a less ragebaity social media or something offline to find solace in

 

[smirks00ts]

This is a terrible reason to commit suicide. You are in crisis and are being irrational. You need help. Seriously. Go to an ER and get hospitalized if you are sure you will otherwise attempt. Or call 988, which I am usually iffy about because it can lead to involuntary care and large hospital bills, but this is not rational thinking.

I live in KSA. nobody really cares much about mental health here. well not really im at a therapist but no way im hell im telling him im a groomer or whatever.

Im not going to tell you to keep living because i know the pain of being on earth is horrible but i will say the WORST online drama i have ever got in had been on Twitter, and several times. They love to go apeshit over nothing and bully people to the point that you are in, its an actual thing, and none of what is happening to you is unique or rational. If you want to keep using the app just deactivate and come back with a new account under a new alias do one of those mutual hunting introduction posts and everyone will forget and you will be fine because what people are attacking you for is not something any normal person would care about

This i would not encourage whatsoever. Sometimes feelings go away you know! Lets not walk them into a psych ward trap

Thats literally what I did. This eas me trying to finally get mutuals and be public again after isolating for half the year. But it immediately got ruined after I finally felt things got better. I am too tired to do it all over again.

I went through something similar. Difference being that it was purely romantic and not sexual, the age-gap was a decade, and luckily no one I know in real life found out because I kept my life private from that person, but the people she knew still attacked me despite our relationship being legal.

I considered suicide in the moment because of the disgust I felt with myself, and I considered suicide if it leaked to my family in the future.
However, the thing that stopped me and kept me sane was constantly rationalizing in my head that I didn't necessarily do anything wrong and forcing myself to not look at her blogs about me anymore.

Regardless of your decision to CTB or not, I also am in agreement that you did nothing wrong. People are inhuman when it comes to this stuff and they'll use your good nature and weak moments to their advantage to make you feel worthless and to make themselves feel good. If your friends abandoned you over this, then you simply need better friends.

I wish you the best.

I get that a little yes. thank you tho.

alt accounts are nice for when people start harass you~ :) just flip-flop accounts a bunch~ maybe bring a few friends from a prior account voer, but otherwise, you can make it nearly entirely new~ :) you can't really do this in a small fandom, but if you're in a small fandom, you may as well leave it because everyone hates you anyways unfortunately~ >_<

as I said before thst was my alt account...its depressingly a small Fandom too. so thats upsetting.

DUDE are you kidding that's fucking ridiculous behavior. yeah i'm sorry they were definitely acting in poor faith.

I'm not being patronizing or wtvr but knowing this really adds a lot for me, though I don't want to admit it i proobably have RSD and have related to the sentiments you've been expressing... you don't need to submit to these people, please do not try to appeal to them. you will not make them happy. honestly if you DID kill yourself, they'd probably accuse you of faking it. and most of all it would not help anyone, would not protect any victims or future victims because you didn't victimize anyone. my rsd or whatever it is is why i'm not on any mainstream socmed and i highly encourage you to find somewhere to be that's not twitter, be that a less ragebaity social media or something offline to find solace in

I appreciate your nice words. but I only use discord and Instagram often. and again its not very easy for.me to make friends. I isolated since February because I got called out in a server I had at the time and isolated myself until maybe this August where I decided to try to be public and yet this happened.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I'm seriously sorry if I sound too rude. its just a lot for me right now.

Part of me feels like its a setup. they could've just told me they weren't comfortable but they kept it going and the moment I got vulnerable enough, they sent some corny ass gif with the caption "Take a seat, pedo" and IMMEDIATELY blocked me everywhere and started posting. but I dont know anymore.

I am a bit vulnerable right now and it doesnt help that I have RSD. I hope you can forgive me.

Ah! Ok, now that makes sense. I knew someone with that so, yes, ok, I see it now.

It sounds like it would be logical to conclude that it was a setup. More than logical, it actually seems obvious.

What you need is time so you can put this in perspective. To realize what really happened, and to see that you've been brainwashed, and that this has nothing to do with the rest of your life. That you can learn from this, vow to never repeat it, and move on from it. And become a better person because of it.

I hope you will reach out to your mental health professional, you need some extra help during this time, and maybe some extra meds. Do not neglect your mental health!

 

[smirks00ts]

Ah! Ok, now that makes sense. I knew someone with that so, yes, ok, I see it now.

I think it sounds like it would be logical to conclude that it was a setup.

What you need is time so you can put this in perspective. Time to realize what really happened, and to see that you've been brainwashed, and that this has nothing to do with the rest of your life. That you can learn from this, vow to never repeat it, and move on from it. And become a better person because of it.

I hope you will reach out to your mental health professional, you need some extra help during this time, and maybe some extra meds. Do not neglect your mental health!

I really want to try. Its even worse but im not even like this. I had many minor friends and i am almost never like this with them. I can be playful sure but never sexual or too romantic ( like plantonic stuff ) until this. and now people will just assume I have an attraction to them even tho im not and its more of like a fucked up sex drive more than anything.

also it reached my ex partners and friends despite it being a small account. so hmm.

 

[Playingwiththedead]

I'm seriously sorry if I sound too rude. its just a lot for me right now.

Part of me feels like its a setup. they could've just told me they weren't comfortable because i asked multiple times. but they kept it going and the moment I got vulnerable enough, they sent some corny ass gif with the caption "Take a seat, pedo" and IMMEDIATELY blocked me everywhere and started posting. but I dont know anymore.

I am a bit vulnerable right now and it doesnt help that I have RSD. I hope you can forgive me.

Sometimes your mind can do these things to you and allow people to talk to you this way and you see yourself as deserving of it. I feel bad because youre going to have intrusive thoughts about this forever, but its not true, you know its not true.

 

[fadedghost]

I live in KSA. nobody really cares much about mental health here. well not really im at a therapist but no way im hell im telling him im a groomer or whatever.

then just don't commit suicide over this.

you fell for a girl within 3 years of your age and flirted with her but technically she was slightly under 18? And you're 20? I'm sorry, but who fucking cares. Yes, it would be better if you hadn't, or waited 2 months until she was 18 or whatever, but ctbing over this? That's just nuts. Just take a sleeping pill (only 1), fall asleep, watch some movies the next day, and try to forget about this and make better choices in the future.

 

[smirks00ts]

then just don't commit suicide over this.

you fell for a girl within 3 years of your age and flirted with her but technically she was slightly under 18? And you're 20? I'm sorry, but who fucking cares. Yes, it would be better if you hadn't, or waited 2 months until she was 18 or whatever, but ctbing over this? That's just nuts. Just take a sleeping pill (only 1), fall asleep, watch some movies the next day, and try to forget about this and make better choices in the future.

its a boy. I appreciate your kind words though reslly.
this applies to everyone here. its just im not used to people having nuance instead of people going "lmfao pedophile kys" and just not reading a single sentence.

Sometimes your mind can do these things to you and allow people to talk to you this way and you see yourself as deserving of it. I feel bad because youre going to have intrusive thoughts about this forever, but its not true, you know its not true.

I had something like this in February. it made me traumatized until now. bevause of this its getting worse. I feel irredeemable or thst ill be a lol cow.

 

[fadedghost]

its a boy. I appreciate your kind words though reslly.
this applies to everyone here. its just im not used to people having nuance instead of people going "lmfao pedophile kys" and just not reading a single sentence.

I had something like this in February. it made me traumatized until now. bevause of it its getting worse. I feel irredeemable or thst ill be a lol cow.

okay, well, whatever genders are involved, this is not a sensible reason to commit suicide. and especially do not jump from stuff where you could become disabled. we have had people on here jump off stuff, come back here while disabled, in terrible pain, writing about the agony of jumping and living, and then they write about how awful it is. LEARN FROM THEM AND DO NOT FUCKING DO THE SAME SHIT.

 

[Playingwiththedead]

Thats literally what I did. This eas me trying to finally get mutuals and be public again after isolating for half the year. But it immediately got ruined after I finally felt things got better. I am too tired to do it all over again.

Ah i see. Maybe just get rid of the app for a while and sit with yourself, let the thoughts pass, and realize how ridiculous this whole thing was. People are evil and stupid animals and that is something i have had to come to terms with so i wont be in agony all the time pre-ctb, youll have to also

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I really want to try. Its even worse but im not even like this. I had many minor friends and i am almost never like this with them. I can be playful sure but never sexual or too romantic ( like plantonic stuff ) until this. and now people will just assume I have an attraction to them even tho im not and its more of like a fucked up sex drive more than anything.

also it reached my ex partners and friends despite it being a small account. so hmm.

Exactly. It sounds like it was deliberate. I would just distance myself from the minor friends until they're not minors. Take some deep breaths. Let it go.

 

[Playingwiththedead]

I had something like this in February. it made me traumatized until now. bevause of this its getting worse. I feel irredeemable or thst ill be a lol cow.

It wont follow you, trust me

 

[smirks00ts]

okay, well, whatever genders are involved, this is not a sensible reason to commit suicide. and especially do not jump from stuff where you could become disabled. we have had people on here jump off stuff, come back here while disabled, in terrible pain, writing about the agony of jumping and living, and then they write about how awful it is. LEARN FROM THEM AND DO NOT FUCKING DO THE SAME SHIT.

I did see some threads about them. its kinda making me not want to do it anymore.

Ah i see. Maybe just get rid of the app for a while and sit with yourself, let the thoughts pass, and realize how ridiculous this whole thing was. People are evil and stupid animals and that is something i have had to come to terms with so i wont be in agony all the time pre-ctb, youll have to also

It wont follow you, trust me

thank you for your nice words

Exactly. It sounds like it was deliberate. I would just distance myself from the minor friends until they're not minors. Take some deep breaths. Let it go.

ill try i guess. I only have like. 17 on discord now or something maybe less. idk anymore. I did check on there but some of them are more worried and disappointed than upset. so thats nice.