Today I decided to write down my reasons for wanting to live

[iloverachel]

Sorry, its empty. Can't think of anything

 

[SmallKoy]

Me too. I actually do try to write my feelings sometimes, but all that ever comes out is how much I want to die rather than anything positive.

 

[iloverachel]

Me too. I actually do try to write my feelings sometimes, but all that ever comes out is how much I want to die rather than anything positive.

yeah i tried to think of reasons to live. Can't find anything hence the blank paper

Now if it was reason to die, I could write 10000 books on it

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand but in my case I'd never want to exist. There's nothing desirable about prolonging meaningless suffering just to be tormented by old age and die anyway, the true peace of non-existence is all that I've ever wished for.

 

[iloverachel]

I understand but in my case I'd never want to exist. There's nothing desirable about prolonging meaningless suffering just to be tormented by old age and die anyway, the true peace of non-existence is all that I've ever wished for.

Agreed. Hope you had a good sleep. Hopefully one day we will all find true peace in non-existence

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't have anything either. Like no matter how hard I try to think of a reason, there just isn't anything that comes into my mind. I don't understand why people want to live but, then again, my neurotype is nothing like theirs

 

[Username1359751]

Sorry, its empty. Can't think of anything
View attachment 137192

Hey that looks just like my list. Hi five!🖐

Just at least think of one when talking to a therapist if you ever do....

 

[iloverachel]

Hey that looks just like my list. Hi five!🖐

Just at least think of one when talking to a therapist if you ever do....

I've been to 4 therapists in the past and none of them really helped unfortunately

High five!

 

[Username1359751]

yeah i tried to think of reasons to live. Can't find anything hence the blank paper

Now if it was reason to die, I could write 10000 books on it

Awful that that list counts for nothing. People think that list means nothing. Doesn't matter the reason. It's already invalid for being on the "wrong" side of the paper. So illogical and messed up. You'd think by now ONE country or ONE state would've regulated assisted suicide despite having any physical limitations. It's honestly dehumanizing and a disgrace to our entire race.

I've been to 4 therapists in the past and none of them really helped unfortunately

High five!

Lol I didn't expect the high five I've had like 6 in the past 2yrs! No help. One was even a Morrmon who had never said the F-word... which was worse given I would use the F-word with him a bit as well as other choice words. I made him laugh though, a lot actually Mine are usually an experience of me being a comical soap opera for them, or a dark-humored lifetime story. Either way they get to sit back and take in the show. Where's my show? I never get a show... Just a few commercials if I'm lucky.
Fist bump!

I don't have anything either. Like no matter how hard I try to think of a reason, there just isn't anything that comes into my mind. I don't understand why people want to live but, then again, my neurotype is nothing like theirs

I truly don't either. Like it's weird to me how everyone isn't constantly miserable and are trying to do all these things in one day, over and over again, while enjoying it. I heard something interesting on the show Bull. He said something like,, "Everyone sees things through a filter." I don't remember the rest. But it meant, for his point, that people see things from a certain emotional view, like suspicion, cynicism, helpfulness, (all bad examples) etc. Although right when I heard him say "filter" I just thought, "Oh. Some people, no matter their life circumstances, are going to have a more programmed filter of "happy" into their glasses. There's nature and nurture, and something else I forget. But all of us, basically, have a certain shade of rose-colored glasses that we wear, and some, even if they were to have had great life circumstances (like I think I would be one) still, would just have no sense of red in their lenses. Just doomed from the start. Inevitable. Just a matter if how long they could hang onto life. Some end up going their whole natural lives with no red in them. I've never even taken a picture of myself with a "beautifying" filter. That's why, even I were to use photoshop, or plastic surgery, I would still always find something I didn't like and that would ruin the photo or my mirrored image. That's my filter, an ugly truth.
Like some of us never even stood a chance. It's Darwinistic.
The cruelest thing you can give people like this, is hope. However, even if I'm hopeless, I think there are a lot of people on here who stand a chance, and can deepen their shades into a rosier red given they find what they're missing. Hate to be the preacher type :/

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I really relate with this. I did this, too. Came up with about 15 reasons to ctb and couldn't come up with even one reason not to. And I really, truly tried. Gave it my best effort. Yeah, sure, could put stupid reasons down like I'd miss listening to jazz music, or watching a TV show like Buffy, or something else stupid like that. But, those kinds of things aren't enough. They're just "filler" type things in life. In order to make life worthwhile, a person needs more substantial, meaningful experiences, the things that make life worth living, and if there are none, life is just empty, devoid of meaning. The way I see it, having nothing, not even people in my life, is slowly killing me anyway. I don't see why I should have to go on suffering each and every day until I, finally, die, probably from some insidious disease, eventually, that will only bring me more pain and suffering. I have nothing left to contribute to this world anymore. I think it best for the world, and for me, too, that I just bow out now, or at least as soon as possible, and that's what I will be doing. Really, you need to recognize when it's best to just fold your cards.

 

[Z-A]

Knew it before opening the thread
Sadly true tho.

 

[J&L383]

Sorry, its empty. Can't think of anything
View attachment 137192

 

[Felodese]

My reasons to die list:

My reasons to live list:
What if...?

And I would very much like to remove that item from the list.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I would try it, but with my luck I would get a bad paper cut. Then the paper cut would get infected. Then I would have stupid annoying people all day long telling me I'm so stupid I can even use paper without hurting myself.