Discussion Do you find it strangely therapeautic to write suicide notes?

[punyama]

I've begun to start writing letters for a couple people in my life and it's made me feel weirdly relieved. it's not therapeautic in the sense that I don't want to ctb anymore but more like it helps me find acceptance in it and feel more at peace with going through with it.
has anyone else experienced this feeling when writing suicide letters/notes?
also, do you think it's more selfish to write a letter or to just do it? i feel i am doing it mainly for my own closure. though i don't have many people in my life and i only really feel like writing to a few.

 

[sadbh]

I think anything that puts you in the direction of CTB tends to be anxiety relieving.

 

[FF777]

i think it's always good to write a letter to them if they are some one who will miss you.. but always remember who you are writing to, meaning don't just write a generic letter and send it to every one; take the time to write each person a letter specifically for them if you can..

 

[punyama]

i think it's always good to write a letter to them if they are some one who will miss you.. but always remember who you are writing to, meaning don't just write a generic letter and send it to every one; take the time to write each person a letter specifically for them if you can..

yeah that's what i've been doing.

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

I definitely do. it must be something about the closure you get from it. anyway, I noticed you're new here! welcome to the forum!! you'll find the nicest people here and I'm sorry about whatever drove you here, nobody deserves to feel like this. lots of love and peace, mate!

 

[AgathaChristieLover]

I often fantasize about writing stuff in my note, but I never actually write notes

 

[punyama]

I often fantasize about writing stuff in my note, but I never actually write notes

i find it helpful for me to write stuff down even if i might never give it to the person. it gets it out of my brain.

I definitely do. it must be something about the closure you get from it. anyway, I noticed you're new here! welcome to the forum!! you'll find the nicest people here and I'm sorry about whatever drove you here, nobody deserves to feel like this. lots of love and peace, mate!

thanks so much
we're all struggling with something aren't we
much love to all of you too.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

No. I wrote a little, I didn't get to everything yet but I really hate it. I think in my case that less is more.

 

[00ps]

i end up breaking down every time i try to write notes but they end up making me feel significantly better in the end. kind of like i'm wrapping a present and putting a bow on top. i think it's selfish because i know it's horrible and i don't think it helps other people, but it sure as hell helps me. so that's what i've been doing to help me.

hella drunk so incoherent a bit but yk

 

[never mind me]

I can't really be bothered to write notes. I don't feel like suicide is something I have to apologize for and on top of that the relationship with my boy-friend, who used to be the most important person in my life, is so bad right now, that I don't care much about him anyway. Or if anything I harbour resentment against him. In any case, if I don't write notes, nobody will really know I ctb, because the authorities will only inform my mother who doesn't know my boy-friend or any of my friends, so for my friends I can just vanish into nothingness without writing a note and I think that is quite cool.

 

[aspenjrojas]

yes very much so. i expected myself to get really anxious or panic while writing, but it's surprisingly one of the few things that i can actually sit down and just do and feel peaceful about.

 

[punyama]

I can't really be bothered to write notes. I don't feel like suicide is something I have to apologize for and on top of that the relationship with my boy-friend, who used to be the most important person in my life, is so bad right now, that I don't care much about him anyway. Or if anything I harbour resentment against him. In any case, if I don't write notes, nobody will really know I ctb, because the authorities will only inform my mother who doesn't know my boy-friend or any of my friends, so for my friends I can just vanish into nothingness without writing a note and I think that is quite cool.

i've been mainly focusing on expressing my feelings towards the person that i'm writing to, things i wanted to tell them that i haven't and my general sentiment about them. anything i feel like is still unresolved.
i can very much relate to your relationship situation, i'm in the same boat with my boyfriend(?) right now too, i'm not even sure if we're still together or not. he used to be my whole world but things with him have been bad for a couple years now and we go days without talking to eachother now, when we used to talk all day every day. i think we've both lost feelings but it's just too hard to make the official break because of how codependent/enmeshed we were with eachother and how long we've been together. i'm terrified to write a note to him most of all, i might not.

 

[slowlybreaking]

at first it was therapeutic but now it feels like a chore. maybe i'm making the note too long, so far i've written like 12 pages in a word document

 

[IwantAexit]

I've begun to start writing letters for a couple people in my life and it's made me feel weirdly relieved. it's not therapeautic in the sense that I don't want to ctb anymore but more like it helps me find acceptance in it and feel more at peace with going through with it.
has anyone else experienced this feeling when writing suicide letters/notes?
also, do you think it's more selfish to write a letter or to just do it? i feel i am doing it mainly for my own closure. though i don't have many people in my life and i only really feel like writing to a few.

I stopped with notes because all those attempts failed, it was a shame for me those notes there and I still alive, now all my efforts are to finally do it successfully without any text