Venting To me, life will never be worth living

[ijustwishtodie]

In my case, I will never wish to voluntarily live life after knowing everything that it offers to me. I don't understand why most people even enjoy life to begin with. Sure, there are answers like "they live for loved ones" or "they like the good things" and so on but I still can't comprehend any of it until I experience it myself which I know I ever won't. I won't ever enjoy life because of my neurotype. Ever since I was born, I had nothing that I enjoyed. I don't enjoy anything at all and I never did. At best it's tolerable and passes time but definitely not enjoyable.

Also, I'm anti suffering unlike everybody else. I don't want to suffer at all, even if the suffering is minute. I reject all forms of suffering that I go through and I always will. It's impossible for somebody like me to enjoy life because life is always guaranteed to have suffering.

I don't want to live, I never did. I only find solace in the idea of death, a blissful death. Nothing else in life makes me think "yeah, that's worth living for".

I don't want life at all and I never will voluntarily choose life. I only want peace by being non existent and never having to function ever again

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I just wish for the peace of non-existence as well, no matter what existence will always be undesirable. I'd always prefer for this existence to peacefully disappear into nothingness but of course only never existing is true perfection, I find it very tragic how humans procreate in the first place, they are just creating unnecessary suffering in an existence that was always very futile and caused nothing but harm.