Venting Tired

[Deadbeforenov16th]

I'm so sick and tired of living everyday and I'm tired of having to wake up and try to pretend and act like imI ok and not like I want to end my life. Initially, I was trying to hang on for my family and friends but at this point it's too much for me to handle, I feel like I'm failing at everything I do and as though I'm just living in constant frustration and despair. Being in a psych ward is even more annoying since theres absolutely no way to end it here since they have constant checks and suicide proofed the heck out of the building. I have moments where I think maybe I can live but it's fleeting and whithers away as fast as it comes, I want someone to talk to about ctb but if I do illI be kept here longer and I want to get out of here asap so I can finish what I started and finally have peace. Before I was unsure about ctb and made half hearted attempts but now im resolute and excited for it, I know that it will give me peace and rest I need and Ive already begun distancing myself from those around me. I believe everything will go as planned and that by November 16th, I shall be dead. I wish I could be more patient but I just want it over asap.

 

[Schopenhauer]

I'm tired too. Tired of living.

I'm sorry to hear you're in a psych ward. These places are an aberration in a "free" society. I'm sure you'll get through this.

 

[creationisdeath]

I'm tired too. Tired of living.

I'm sorry to hear you're in a psych ward. These places are an aberration in a "free" society. I'm sure you'll get through this.

This. Just more money making and pill poppin'.

Stay calm and play along then you're free quickly. I made the mistake of being honest and rebelling.. was locked up in the "special" ward for months.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

I'm so sick and tired of living everyday and I'm tired of having to wake up and try to pretend and act like imI ok and not like I want to end my life. Initially, I was trying to hang on for my family and friends but at this point it's too much for me to handle, I feel like I'm failing at everything I do and as though I'm just living in constant frustration and despair. Being in a psych ward is even more annoying since theres absolutely no way to end it here since they have constant checks and suicide proofed the heck out of the building. I have moments where I think maybe I can live but it's fleeting and whithers away as fast as it comes, I want someone to talk to about ctb but if I do illI be kept here longer and I want to get out of here asap so I can finish what I started and finally have peace. Before I was unsure about ctb and made half hearted attempts but now im resolute and excited for it, I know that it will give me peace and rest I need and Ive already begun distancing myself from those around me. I believe everything will go as planned and that by November 16th, I shall be dead. I wish I could be more patient but I just want it over asap.

As they let me keep my belt i undide the rope like thing from my back pack and tied it to the belt. I made a noose with the end of the belt, put a sock between my neck and the buckle (buckke was positioned at the back of my neck) put the rooe over the door and closed and locked it. Positioned a chair under the door handle so they couldnt ooen the door (door opened outward). Partial suspension. I went dizzy within seconds but didnt pass out, survival instinct i guess next time ill have to get some drugs and do it. It was easy to have Coke, Crack and pills brought in just need ti find someone who would sell ketamine to be smuggled in.

 

[AgingLoser]

It's good to know I'm not the only one to feel like that.