orangerror
Member
- Apr 23, 2023
- 5
I'm tired, I'm tired of being tired, every day even though something lives inside me, it dies a little.
I live in Brazil, things here are not good and neither are the people, I was fired recently, my ex boss used to stalk me, curse me and was rude without me doing anything, he just didn't like me and so he sent me away. I discovered my depression when I was 15 years old and today I'm 23 years old, I've tried suicide several times but always unsuccessful, I have horrible marks on my wrists, if I can give you a tip, don't try suicide by slitting your wrists, it's just pain and definitive and ugly marks.
I had broken up with a boyfriend at the end of last year, a few months later he came back, promised he would change and listen to me more, it only lasted 3 months before he went back to being ignorant. I'm currently living with him and I can't take it anymore, he doesn't respect what I say, even if I don't like something he does it without caring about my opinion, this is painful, I don't feel like this is my home, not just what we see with walls and roof but what you feel is your home, that place you want to go back to when things are not right. I never felt like I had a home and I don't, I don't feel like the world is for me, it's like I'm an et on earth, there's nothing here for me, happiness is long gone. Inside my heart I know I have to go, there's nothing left here for me. I didn't want it to be like this, I wanted to make my dreams come true but I know I can't go on anymore. I need to organize myself, find a good method, without mistakes, I live in an apartment so I think the monoxodo is out of the question, I'm not alone, it would need to be something silent without fuss.
As I write this I see how much it hurts to have no way out, my only way out is to go. It really hurts, deep inside my heart it hurts, I didn't know life was going to be like this.
Sorry for any english mistakes
I live in Brazil, things here are not good and neither are the people, I was fired recently, my ex boss used to stalk me, curse me and was rude without me doing anything, he just didn't like me and so he sent me away. I discovered my depression when I was 15 years old and today I'm 23 years old, I've tried suicide several times but always unsuccessful, I have horrible marks on my wrists, if I can give you a tip, don't try suicide by slitting your wrists, it's just pain and definitive and ugly marks.
I had broken up with a boyfriend at the end of last year, a few months later he came back, promised he would change and listen to me more, it only lasted 3 months before he went back to being ignorant. I'm currently living with him and I can't take it anymore, he doesn't respect what I say, even if I don't like something he does it without caring about my opinion, this is painful, I don't feel like this is my home, not just what we see with walls and roof but what you feel is your home, that place you want to go back to when things are not right. I never felt like I had a home and I don't, I don't feel like the world is for me, it's like I'm an et on earth, there's nothing here for me, happiness is long gone. Inside my heart I know I have to go, there's nothing left here for me. I didn't want it to be like this, I wanted to make my dreams come true but I know I can't go on anymore. I need to organize myself, find a good method, without mistakes, I live in an apartment so I think the monoxodo is out of the question, I'm not alone, it would need to be something silent without fuss.
As I write this I see how much it hurts to have no way out, my only way out is to go. It really hurts, deep inside my heart it hurts, I didn't know life was going to be like this.
Sorry for any english mistakes
