I was supposed to graduate in 2023. But I had dropped out in 2021. I haven't gone back. Honestly it's not even the degree or major I wanted to do. I experienced serious delusions around 2019 where I believed some miracle is going to happen and I don't have to actually do it because I might get rich etc... it's very concerning.
I could get into those delusions or whatever they are but I don't want to.
But now it's 2026. I was staying at home since 2020. I had barely any friends in college. Literally zero. That was one of the reasons I dropped out. Because I felt very alone. And I was already dealing with anxiety, adhd and ocd. Neither of which I am diagnosed of.
The current situation is very bad. I had joined a college back in 2025. But I was barely passing and I had to repeat many subjects. Because I procrastinate all through the term and I reach the end I haven't studied anything. Its a loop I realised there is no way out of. But I kept believing everytime I'm gonna be so disclipned etc but it never happens. I have no one to rely on for emotional support etc because I live in a third world country. I told my mom about my adhd. She never took it seriously at all. I'm not suprised. That's the usual response from my parents for anything I say.
I don't want to die. But I don't want to keep facing this over and over again.
I could get into those delusions or whatever they are but I don't want to.
But now it's 2026. I was staying at home since 2020. I had barely any friends in college. Literally zero. That was one of the reasons I dropped out. Because I felt very alone. And I was already dealing with anxiety, adhd and ocd. Neither of which I am diagnosed of.
The current situation is very bad. I had joined a college back in 2025. But I was barely passing and I had to repeat many subjects. Because I procrastinate all through the term and I reach the end I haven't studied anything. Its a loop I realised there is no way out of. But I kept believing everytime I'm gonna be so disclipned etc but it never happens. I have no one to rely on for emotional support etc because I live in a third world country. I told my mom about my adhd. She never took it seriously at all. I'm not suprised. That's the usual response from my parents for anything I say.
I don't want to die. But I don't want to keep facing this over and over again.
