post_card
Member
- Jul 11, 2026
- 44
Last 2 months I have been away from the cities and places with a lot of people basically. I only do some shopping sometimes and attend to church once a week. But that's about it these two months.
Noticed that my mental being is way more stable when I am ONLY around people I know. Just me, my parents, some old friends, neighbours (i don t talk to them at all - but those people still bring me a sense of comfort, without a doubt because our families happen to know each other for a long time) Probably that is not a crazy discovery.
I am just happy that at least for now I don t have to think about killing myself.
I wonder how much those feelings of mine will change once I move out to the city to go to college (again, ugh.) I do believe that too many random people, that I just even happen to see or hear, have some kind of adverse effect on me. I don't understand this mechanism.
Well - I am kind of socially anxious. When I was living in the city alone, there were times where doing simple tasks (going shopping to not starve) seemed impossible. I would procrastinate from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. to finally do it. That is a whole day wasted.
Also, being alone is not that bad but it is also not that good. I know my life will have to change soon. There are no two ways about it.
I wish I could bring the comfort I feel now with me anywhere I go and not depend on others to provide it. I guess this feeling is not inherent to me.
Just random thoughts for today - wanted to write them down.
Noticed that my mental being is way more stable when I am ONLY around people I know. Just me, my parents, some old friends, neighbours (i don t talk to them at all - but those people still bring me a sense of comfort, without a doubt because our families happen to know each other for a long time) Probably that is not a crazy discovery.
I am just happy that at least for now I don t have to think about killing myself.
I wonder how much those feelings of mine will change once I move out to the city to go to college (again, ugh.) I do believe that too many random people, that I just even happen to see or hear, have some kind of adverse effect on me. I don't understand this mechanism.
Well - I am kind of socially anxious. When I was living in the city alone, there were times where doing simple tasks (going shopping to not starve) seemed impossible. I would procrastinate from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. to finally do it. That is a whole day wasted.
Also, being alone is not that bad but it is also not that good. I know my life will have to change soon. There are no two ways about it.
I wish I could bring the comfort I feel now with me anywhere I go and not depend on others to provide it. I guess this feeling is not inherent to me.
Just random thoughts for today - wanted to write them down.
