Tired of being minimized and invisible

[khairan]

It's probably been two years since I've been treated as a person. I returned to my home town and other than growing plants everything has been bad: systematically ignored, minimized and mistreated. One would argue internet could be a break from all that but no matter what I post or where I post it I either get no reply or I just get shitted on.
It's like if I were on a multi-platform ban and only the lamest, shittiest sons of bitches had access to my activity.

My mother has a kind gesture here and there but considering her neglect and laziness turned me into a miserable, pathetic loser I can't really appreciate it.

I've traveled on bicycle across my country and a couple others and even the people I met on a day or two has shown me more kindness and love than everyone else I've met in this shithole of a city I was born into.

I've tried so hard to put my life on the line but not even death would grace me with her attention. I'm trying so hard to keep myself from snapping but I don't even see the point because I absolutely despise this existence and everything that surrounds me.

 

[beyond.space]

hey, im sorry you have to go through this, you certainly do not deserve it. i hope you find some relief within this community.

i have a much different story than yours, but i relate to always feeling minimized and invisible. its been like that my whole life, no matter the friends group or the location. i was always left out, made fun off in subtle "joking" ways, ignored or outright just bullied by people i trusted. this has ultimately destroyed any sense of self and i ended up isolated and alone, afraid to get hurt again.

i once found somebody special that saw the purity in me but that person did more harm than good in the end. so im here now, hoping to find relief myself. im afraid i already snapped, though, and dont plan to reach my next birthday.

 

[khairan]

hey, im sorry you have to go through this, you certainly do not deserve it. i hope you find some relief within this community.

i have a much different story than yours, but i relate to always feeling minimized and invisible. its been like that my whole life, no matter the friends group or the location. i was always left out, made fun off in subtle "joking" ways, ignored or outright just bullied by people i trusted. this has ultimately destroyed any sense of self and i ended up isolated and alone, afraid to get hurt again.

i once found somebody special that saw the purity in me but that person did more harm than good in the end. so im here now, hoping to find relief myself. im afraid i already snapped, though, and dont plan to reach my next birthday.

If you've got the chance and you're into adventuring maybe you should try a long hike or a bicycle trip. I managed to do it on bicycle across three countries despite my shit health and it's probably the main positive thing I've ever experienced.
I do hope you find something fun and fulfilling before you depart.

Anyhow thanks for seeing me. You and many other people in this forum are probably the least deserving of this situation. We're mostly sensitive and naive people who believed in good and life just gave us all a massive f U.