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neverwashere

neverwashere

Self sabotaging to cope with it all
Apr 25, 2023
73
On Monday I tried taking my own life via partial hanging in my room. Obviously, I failed. I was pretty serious about it until it came to actually leaning forward and staying in that position, because as soon as I started to black out I found myself automatically sitting up. I tried to force my way through it but I just couldn't. I still feel pretty bummed out and honestly kinda guilty too, but that isn't the point of this post.

The point is, how do I prevent my brain from making me sit up next time I attempt? Or should I just try to find a different method that SI won't interfere with as much? (If you're going to suggest SN, I've already decided that's out of the question. It's too hard for me to get all of the materials in a way my roommates wouldn't notice, and I have emetophobia meaning I'm scared of vomiting- a common side effect SN has on people, even with antiemetics.)
I've been considering jumping, since there's a nice 9-10 story tall bridge very close to where I live and I feel like its easier to jump than it is to slowly feel your consciousness fade for like a solid minute, but I also don't want some random innocent people to find my remains floating down the river the bridge goes over.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,735
The fact is that as humans we are all programmed to survive, it's the way that we've evolved so I think it's very difficult to ignore the SI completely, this is why I've never attempted the hanging method. But maybe many people manage to overcome the SI as they just get so determined and desperate to leave, so many have succeeded with hanging after all and I envy them.
 
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captive

Member
May 31, 2023
52
how many times did you attempt to escape? i have never tried anything yet but i felt very curious about the idea of hanging myself and attempted to lose consciousness by pressing on my neck arteries with fingers, first 5-10 seconds felt like my head is about to explode, i knew that is a common occurence in partial hanging so i kept going until this kinda painful sensation gradually faded away under 2 seconds and as i was just about to hit the ground with my body i suddenly stopped because survival instinct is such a motherfucker. and that was that. it's pretty much painless i must say. and while being 100% confident this on earth would not kill me i still bitched out. i guess you can just keep trying this method until you feel fully prepared, you can exercise with self choking too, i believe this would help. for me partial hanging seems as the most peaceful way when you have nothing under your reach but a rope.
 

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