flowersforalgernons
Member
- Jul 6, 2026
- 47
As I become more and more certain I will CTB soon, I find myself wanting to be as physically comfortable as possible; I am on the bus to work right now (ha) and I just feel a deep longing to be held, wrapped in blankets, drinking a hot cup of tea-- just deeply comforting things. I have been comfort eating a lot.
I saw an old friend yesterday, and it wasn't as fun or fulfilling as I'd imagined. I have a bucket list of things I want to do before I go, but I mainly felt sad upon seeing him, and reliving old memories wasn't enjoyable. There were moments of joy, sure, but the overall experience left me feeling uneasy.
I'm not sure how to proceed. Perhaps a last good bye to all my people is the wrong approach. Maybe isolation is the way forward, while I work on wrapping up loose ends. It feels selfish of me to force people to be around me when I am basically dying.
I mostly just want to be held. Having been single for the past few years, it's tough. But again... I am on the way out.
Three weeks or so? Until I can purchase a firearm and it arrives. I haven't settled on a CTB date. My birthday is coming up. I think I will want to exit as soon as I can, though-- things are getting depressing. :)
I saw an old friend yesterday, and it wasn't as fun or fulfilling as I'd imagined. I have a bucket list of things I want to do before I go, but I mainly felt sad upon seeing him, and reliving old memories wasn't enjoyable. There were moments of joy, sure, but the overall experience left me feeling uneasy.
I'm not sure how to proceed. Perhaps a last good bye to all my people is the wrong approach. Maybe isolation is the way forward, while I work on wrapping up loose ends. It feels selfish of me to force people to be around me when I am basically dying.
I mostly just want to be held. Having been single for the past few years, it's tough. But again... I am on the way out.
Three weeks or so? Until I can purchase a firearm and it arrives. I haven't settled on a CTB date. My birthday is coming up. I think I will want to exit as soon as I can, though-- things are getting depressing. :)
