Discussion thread to talk about self harm

[charlavail]

Unfortunately I hadn't SH for over 15 years and recently everything has just been so overwhelming I've started again. It just quiets my brain, and I don't feel like I have the coping skills to deal with all the shit in my life when it comes up. like i went to a mental hospital, learned all these dbt skills but when i'm crying and it's taking over my entire body and i feel like i'm actually going to lose it, cutting calms me down. I hate that it does, but it works for me. I've always done my thighs, but summer is coming up and I'm scared about shorts and swimwear around family & people I know. I don't do it for attention, it's actually something I'm very ashamed I've started doing again and haven't told anyone. It just helps.

 

[ForgetIExist]

I always viewed my cutting as a more aggressive form of picking a scab, an unhealthy impulsive behavior. I never really did it out of self loathing or wanting attention, but because I was bored and arbitrarily decided my skin being intact was boring.

I've never made the connection between picking and cutting. I've been picking at myself all my life. I would always play with my hair, pull it out, pick at those little bumps under your chin, etc. Currently I can't stop rolling up the dead ends of my hair and ripping it out for the life of me. When I'm not doing that I'm picking at my acne of ripping knots out of my hair. I do it unconsciously in public and it's embarrassing at this point but IDK what to do about it.

 

[Kamaainakupua]

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