Thoughts on seeing fam before ctb

[iwanttodie000]

I know my parents are going to have a particularly hard time when I ctb. I am their only child, it's going to hurt them and that's the main reason I haven't done it. But I am past the point of return and blazing down this ctb path and am planning by the end of May to be gone. While we don't see each other but a few times a year, we communicate on a daily basis via social media etc. I am torn about seeing them one last time in person. I know it would mean a lot to them to see me, but they'd obviously have no idea it would be for the last time. I don't know if after I'm gone it would make it easier or worse for them. Any ideas? It could go either way that they are thankful that they got to see me one last time or they feel even worse because they feel they could of stopped me or something - which they could never do anyways but I know that's how their mind would work.

 

[Nexey]

It could go either way that they are thankful that they got to see me one last time or they feel even worse because they feel they could of stopped me

I think they would flip-flop between those two thoughts while going through the grieving process. I think the best way to provide closure is via a detailed suicide note. I say that it's more important whether you want to see them one last time or not.

 

[iwanttodie000]

I think they would flip-flop between those two thoughts while going through the grieving process. I think the best way to provide closure is via a detailed suicide note. I say that it's more important whether you want to see them one last time or not.

I agree. I have been planning to write a rather lengthy suicide note, breaking it out to individual people and letting them know it's not their fault because it's not. I flip flop between seeing them or not, it's not going to change my mind, but I just want to make it as easy on them as possible. Thanks

 

[WornOutLife]

I think seeing them for a last time could hurt but at the same time it would give you peace.

Wouldn't be lovely to spend a day with them, giving them lots of love while having fun? It gotta be an unforgettable day!

That's what I'd do at least.

Anyway, be careful not to be too emotional! They might be suspicious of you!

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Guess a goodbye-ish meeting could be created by pretending to go away for a very long time to another part of the world. Preferably to supposedly pursue the monastic life in Thailand or some shit to make future contact completely impossible. They will then after the get-together be prepared to not hear anything from you for a decade or so. Either way it'll be a small degree of damage control and might reduce the lethality of the entire attempt since it could get very emotional and risky.

 

[iwanttodie000]

I think seeing them for a last time could hurt but at the same time it would give you peace.

Wouldn't be lovely to spend a day with them, giving them lots of love while having fun? It gotta be an unforgettable day!

That's what I'd do at least.

Anyway, be careful not to be too emotional! They might be suspicious of you!

I do think about that. It would be an unforgettable day. I wouldn't be too emotional, the last time I saw them I had in my head was going to be the last time, but that's when I thought I wasn't going to see 2021. I usually see them with my partner along too, which also makes it difficult because I'd want it to be a 1 on 1 with them. It could create a why can't I go with my partner and a why isn't my partner there to them. Damn I overthink shit lol