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offbalance
All I want is peace
- Dec 16, 2021
- 203
I'm genuinely torn on what to put. I kind of want to do short and sweet and just pack a lot of punch in my words.
Well thought out. Congrats.Mine is 20 pages long. Most of it is just refutations to what I assume will be their biggest objections (ex. "You're too young", "You're going to miss out on so much happiness", etc.) The actual "why" is only about two pages long.
I can agree with you a lot. Mine is a couple pages but after a while it just seems like they are and only will be words to whomever is reading it and they won't feel the actual emotions that go with the note.I write and write, but I always think that my words are insufficient, I think there is no way to be understood.
I've written one for family, with nice anecdotes of happy times. I've written one for the coroner, laying out the reasons for my suicide. I've written one for my friends, thanking them for being there. Lastly, I've written one for wider society laying out my views on assisted suicide and how it's unfair I have to die via SN poisoning.I'm genuinely torn on what to put. I kind of want to do short and sweet and just pack a lot of punch in my words.
It takes me forever to write things, just perfectionism and a lot to say, and the idea is daunting and full of dread. How long did that take you?Mine is 20 pages long. Most of it is just refutations to what I assume will be their biggest objections (ex. "You're too young", "You're going to miss out on so much happiness", etc.) The actual "why" is only about two pages long.
Is it typed or handwritten?Mine is 20 pages long. Most of it is just refutations to what I assume will be their biggest objections (ex. "You're too young", "You're going to miss out on so much happiness", etc.) The actual "why" is only about two pages long.
Typed.It takes me forever to write things, just perfectionism and a lot to say, and the idea is daunting and full of dread. How long did that take you?
Is it typed or handwritten?
Thank you for taking the time to write that out. I know how exhausting even that is. :)Typed.
It was really hard for me to get started because with depression, my energy was already so low. There were a couple of false starts, where I would write something and find it wholly unsatisfying and delete it, but I finally got it going once I distilled what I wanted to say to the basics, narrowed the scope (it doesn't have to be all things to all people), and identified my goals.
For me the basics were 1) life isn't worth it and 2) nonexistence cannot harm me. And my goal was to make it known that this was something I had thought carefully about, that I had already considered anything professionals or non-professionals alike had to say, that ending one's own life is a valid, rational position. After my death, above all I didn't want to be seen as a poor young victim of depression or society. I wanted to be seen as someone who autonomously and lucidly made a choice about their own life.
All in all, it took me about 1.5 months to finish.
If you think you have too much to say, I would recommend a similar process where you boil your CTB down to its most essential parts and just start there. You can add more later but thinking of the entire thing can be overwhelming.
We don't see the benefit of writing anything but instructions. We have reused the same note a couple times now,I'm genuinely torn on what to put. I kind of want to do short and sweet and just pack a lot of punch in my words.
Mine is just telling them who I was, what happened, and having some lyrics.I'm genuinely torn on what to put. I kind of want to do short and sweet and just pack a lot of punch in my words.