Those that have been here for a long time, why are you still here?

[Shades of Grey]

Recent poster, long-time lurker. Am trying to outlive someone I love and care about. Sometimes it's hard to keep going. I hate that others are in this position, but sometimes knowing I'm not alone makes it easier to stick it out.

 

[SelfHatingAspie]

I'm currently past the stage of wanting to ctb, as it seems like too much effort. I'm not sure how, but I hope to find the motivation to tidy up at least the minimum amount of loose ends that need attention so that I can clear the way to get the job done. Although I'll need to be careful not to fall into a false sense of wanting to continue living.

 

[ladolcemorte]

I wish I had a solid answer to this. I've seen so many people come and go but from my opinion there are 3 types of people who come here. Those who recover, those who ctb and simply those who don't. Those who ctb tend to do it quite quickly after joining I've noticed. Of course thats not always the case but I've noticed it happen in quite a few cases.
I'm here after several failed attempts still largely unsure what to do. There never seems to be a clear answer for me. I want to live/I want to die. I live in limbo. This website, at times, has kept me going when I felt like giving up and throwing in the towel.

Just a caveat that, as far as I am aware, there is very seldom any independent corroboration that a user is in fact deceased. The fact that someone posted a "goodbye" thread never to be heard from again isn't evidence of death. They may have not gone though with the attempt or they may have survived and failed to post an update out of the "embarrassment" mentioned earlier, or because they are trying to get better. (If you want to get REALLY cynical, they may not have even been suicidal to begin with, and posted out of some kind of sick sense of voyeurism..)

I point this out because it is easy to look around and see all these "successful" suicides and feel inferior (like a "fraud" or simply incompetent). Not saying people on this forum do not complete suicide, just that the ratio of "in limbo" to completed is likely higher than it appears. Those of us who are still here, for whatever reason, are in good company. We are in agony but we are in good company.

 

[glittergore]

I haven't been on this particular website for long, but I was a somewhat active member on and off of the original SS subreddit between the years of 2015-2018. For me personally, it's linked to the ebb and flow of my mental illness; sometimes my depression, anxiety, and psychosis alleviates for a bit and I have hope that I can recover, sometimes it gets worse and I come back to these sorts of communities. I've gotten progressively more serious about suicide however, particularly in the last year. We'll see how everything plays out and how much longer I'm here, either because I kill myself or decide to, once again, try to focus on creating a life for myself that is fulfilling enough to deal with the suffering, as much as is in my power.

 

[krsu]

too broke to afford the methods I'd prefer to use :)

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Still dealing with life

 

[Mm80]

Since I've been a member, I've attempted several times with partial and once with the ReBreather. I've had SN for months but know I will have breathing issues, so it's a matter of things being bad enough to go through it. If I could access N, I'd be gone. I'm currently trying to figure out how I can take SN and go unconscious before the symptoms start.

I'm on here every day, I'm sure people wonder about that. I'm very extroverted, love conversation, and have been isolated for a long time, so this gives me a chance to have conversations. I also love writing, thinking deeply about things, problem solving, and being supportive to others and receiving support, which fills me up.

Just looked at your date GPE and its hard to believe youve only been here since Jan.
Feels like youve always been here. (In a good way of course)

Ive not been fully honest. Im still here because of suicide prevention month. Its true. Every september it comes around and keeps me going for another year. All of those social media posts, privileged celebrities talking about it....gives me so much strength ☺

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Ive not been fully honest. Im still here because of suicide prevention month. Its true. Every september it comes around and keeps me going for another year. All of those social media posts, privileged celebrities talking about it....gives me so much strength ☺

Hilarious! You've been on such a roll lately!


EDIT: Oh shit, I think you were serious this time.

 

[attribute-level-kale]

Well that's pretty easy. People "kill themselves" here and delete their account and start posting under a different name. They are mentally ill, after all. Healthy people do this on kitten picture forums, it's not an uncommon phenomena.

Sometimes, they follow through.

Even if that wasn't the case, it sometimes takes depressed people a very long time to kill themselves. You have multiple attempts spaced over years. Cobain was not allowed guns because of it. Chester Bennington had attempted to kill himself many years prior, as did David Foster Wallace. Bipolar people might go into a mania and do it once and do it right. Women that have BPD try 10 times and the 11th might accidentally do it, or purposefully.

I personally have not done it because I am not suicidal, nor have I ever been. For some reason, I cannot logically reconcile this with committing the act.

 

[Mm80]

Hilarious! You've been on such a roll lately!


EDIT: Oh shit, I think you were serious this time.

Thanks GPE! Its a difficult one as i love fooling around but im also aware that we are on a website where not everyone is in the mood for joking.
That post the other week really made me laugh when someone came on asking if he could borrow a G and you said that law enforcement monitor these sites and if someone borrowed him a G, they may end up in J. I dont think you were even trying to be funny but it was hilarious.

 

[krsu]

Well that's pretty easy. People "kill themselves" here and delete their account and start posting under a different name. They are mentally ill, after all. Healthy people do this on kitten picture forums, it's not an uncommon phenomena.

Sometimes, they follow through.

Even if that wasn't the case, it sometimes takes depressed people a very long time to kill themselves. You have multiple attempts spaced over years. Cobain was not allowed guns because of it. Chester Bennington had attempted to kill himself many years prior, as did David Foster Wallace. Bipolar people might go into a mania and do it once and do it right. Women that have BPD try 10 times and the 11th might accidentally do it, or purposefully.

I personally have not done it because I am not suicidal, nor have I ever been. For some reason, I cannot logically reconcile this with committing the act.

get the fuck off this site then, everything you have just said is extremely toxic, if you arent suicidal then stop acting like you know others reasoning

 

[ZardozOmega]

I like this place. I can be honest about myself here, and people are more likely to understand

Well that's pretty easy. People "kill themselves" here and delete their account and start posting under a different name. They are mentally ill, after all. Healthy people do this on kitten picture forums, it's not an uncommon phenomena.

Sometimes, they follow through.

Even if that wasn't the case, it sometimes takes depressed people a very long time to kill themselves. You have multiple attempts spaced over years. Cobain was not allowed guns because of it. Chester Bennington had attempted to kill himself many years prior, as did David Foster Wallace. Bipolar people might go into a mania and do it once and do it right. Women that have BPD try 10 times and the 11th might accidentally do it, or purposefully.

I personally have not done it because I am not suicidal, nor have I ever been. For some reason, I cannot logically reconcile this with committing the act.

What does that mean?

 

[ladolcemorte]

I personally have not done it because I am not suicidal, nor have I ever been. For some reason, I cannot logically reconcile this with committing the act.

So, just curious, if you are not and have never been suicidal, what brings you to this site?

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Ironically this very site keeps some people from CTB.

No one in the real world would ever be able to understand this. It's both a good thing, because it keeps SS somewhat underground and it's a bad thing because, well, imagine if you had a therapist who had spent six months to a year on this site... what's doled out as therapy could drastically change.

 

[krsu]

So, just curious, if you are not and have never been suicidal, what brings you to this site?

hes needs to gtfo honestly, hes hateful, disrespectful and assuming towards actual users on here suffering from severe depression, sucidal ideations and other illnesses... To assume others are just attention seeking and pretending to end their lifes is fucking disgusting and he does not belong on this site.

sorry if i sound angry, this dude actually struck a nerve... "I personally have not done it because I am not suicidal, nor have I ever been. For some reason, I cannot logically reconcile this with committing the act."

wow good for you im glad you're not sucidal but dont go around on a fucking suicide forum and act like everyone is just here for attention when majority of us are seriously suffering.

 

[Mm80]

So, just curious, if you are not and have never been suicidal, what brings you to this site?

Was kind of wondering that myself. He or she has every right but if i had never felt suicidal id probably go and play tennis or something instead

 

[Ghost2211]

It's been a long process going from initial trauma that led me to this point, and processing the fact that I have to stay alive for my kids. It's hard to keep going, and talking to this group Is cathartic.

Hopefully I can bring some benefit to the group through life experience and knowledge.

 

[cowbain]

I'm a teenager so I'm trying to still have that dangerous thing they call 'hope'

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I'm a teenager so I'm trying to still have that dangerous thing they call 'hope'

Good! I hope you keep trying for as long as you can.




Just gonna leave this here, not to be taken as passive-aggressive as it may come off...

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/niceness-costs-you-nothing.47606/

 

[woxihuanni]

This thread is disturbing. However you swing it, it is not OK to imply people should've been dead by now. SS is not even only a 'suicide forum'.

Somebody mentioned that people either recover, are quick to off themselves or stay here. That is meaningless, at any given point, what else can you see in the picture anyway?

As for me, I have said over and over again that I don't want to die but am forced to die. It's never got much sympathy, unlike wanting to die because of global warming or your cat getting sick. Whatever.

 

[krsu]

This thread is disturbing. However you swing it, it is not OK to imply people should've been dead by now. SS is not even only a 'suicide forum'.

Somebody mentioned that people either recover, are quick to off themselves or stay here. That is meaningless, at any given point, what else can you see in the picture anyway?

As for me, I have said over and over again that I don't want to die but am forced to die. It's never got much sympathy, unlike wanting to die because of global warming or your cat getting sick. Whatever.

Im not saying people "should be dead by now" im saying its disgusting to assume majority of users "fake suicides for attention".

and when I said "suicide forum" I didn't mean it in the way you assumed, Im saying alot of people come here because they are suffering from depression and suicidal ideations, the community here is amazing and it has helped alot of people recover from these suicidal thoughts because there is people to talk to and relate to on here... you cant get this kind of therapy from anywhere else.

im not even sure if you were directing that post to me but I'm just clarifying.

 

[attribute-level-kale]

You may check my extremely brief post history and then decide whether I should be here. I am here to get tips on how to overcome my survival instinct, no more no less.

 

[krsu]

You may check my extremely brief post history and then decide whether I should be here. I am here to get tips on how to overcome my survival instinct, no more no less.

I don't need to check your post history to know what you said earlier was an extremely shitty take

 

[Baseballfan95]

Eh, I just havent decided its time to go yet. Life is going alright enough but long term I still plan to go out on my own terms. Probably the wrong reason to be here but idk.

 

[Mm80]

You may check my extremely brief post history and then decide whether I should be here. I am here to get tips on how to overcome my survival instinct, no more no less.

Why would you want to overcome si if you have never been suicidal? Genuine question

 

[attribute-level-kale]

I am paralyzed.

 

[woxihuanni]

I am paralyzed.

Maybe life decided to teach you to understand how people can suffer, and it's still not worked so you have to stay around. Good luck. You will live to be 125 with that shitty attitude.

 

[icanhasnick]

No one in the real world would ever be able to understand this. It's both a good thing, because it keeps SS somewhat underground and it's a bad thing because, well, imagine if you had a therapist who had spent six months to a year on this site... what's doled out as therapy could drastically change.

I can imagine there'd be a big SN jar at the waiting room, with informative posters about methods hanging on the wall. Upon entering his office he'd ask "any questions ?"

Anyway, this is just another confirmation of how fucking retarded that which passes for real and pretends to world these days is. That the best strategy for dealing with people willing to off themselves that it can muster is... "let's keep them from finding out how, and let's start a disinfo campaign and act as if calling a number would help them so they call and we can send the cops on them". And then they wonder why we'd want out.

 

[attribute-level-kale]

I did not need paralysis to express empathy, I already possessed it, it's a pretty common trait.

 

[woxihuanni]

Im not saying people "should be dead by now" im saying its disgusting to assume majority of users "fake suicides for attention".

and when I said "suicide forum" I didn't mean it in the way you assumed, Im saying alot of people come here because they are suffering from depression and suicidal ideations, the community here is amazing and it has helped alot of people recover from these suicidal thoughts because there is people to talk to and relate to on here... you cant get this kind of therapy from anywhere else.

im not even sure if you were directing that post to me but I'm just clarifying.

Nope, not directed to you at all.