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Silent_cries

Silent_cries

I wish I could delete my trauma...
Aug 10, 2021
968
I want to be rid of my SI. I keep setting times everyday then when it gets to that time, I set another time.
That's why I stopped setting a certain time or date, instead I'll just do it whenever it feels right, otherwise I'm just more likely to change my mind coz SI kicks in and I'll start to think of every reason not to do it until I change my mind just to regret changing my mind later on.
 
Silent_cries

Silent_cries

I wish I could delete my trauma...
Aug 10, 2021
968
You won't be conscious so you'll have achieved your goal. They won't keep anyone on life support for too long anyway
You know it's possible to be completely paralyzed from neck down while still being fully concious, right? That's what people usually refer to as "becoming a vegetable". I don't mean to scare anyone from ctb-ing but what you said isn't accurate and I don't like misinformation either. Not trying to hate on you or anything, I swear! What you're referring to is called being brain dead, witch is a completely different thing. Altough yes, you can become brain dead from ctb as well.
 
Unknown21

Unknown21

この世界は残酷だ。
Apr 25, 2023
686
If only I could find a way to overcome my bitch survival instinct, I would be dead already.
That's why I stopped setting a certain time or date, instead I'll just do it whenever it feels right, otherwise I'm just more likely to change my mind coz SI kicks in and I'll start to think of every reason not to do it until I change my mind just to regret changing my mind later on.
It's really a vicious cycle. That's really overwhelming.
 
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Silent_cries

Silent_cries

I wish I could delete my trauma...
Aug 10, 2021
968
If only I could find a way to overcome my bitch survival instinct, I would be dead already.

It's really a vicious cycle. That's really overwhelming.
Ikr, it's the fucking worst!
 
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sserafim

sserafim

the darker the night, the brighter the stars
Sep 13, 2023
7,876
SI and fear, risk and consequences of failure. I don't want to end up even worse off due to a failed attempt
 
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BlazingBob

BlazingBob

I'm still here b/c of my dogs
Oct 28, 2021
552
My pets. They need me and I refuse to abandon them, as miserable and unbearable as my life currently is. But they're very old and not in good health so it shouldn't be too much longer. Losing them will be a major catalyst because they're all I have in life and my reason for living.
 
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R

raincereal

Member
Mar 13, 2024
22
i'm too weak to CTB with any painful methods, so i'm trying to get all the resources for SN and while i'm gathering all the materials, maybe i'll be able to find something that makes me want to recover. so i guess it's a mixture of being too scared and coping lol

i also want to write a nice, preferably not too long letter to the people i care about. i think i'd send it as a scheduled email and i'd tell them to check their email the day prior, so i want to get my thoughts together to write something that summarizes my thoughts well enough.
 
AlexYaBoy

AlexYaBoy

The Lord of Dribblers
Mar 11, 2024
112
Partial isn't as easy as it looks for a big guy. Don't want the story to end, yet.
 
J

jacobryan

Member
Mar 11, 2024
98
I hate my SI. If I could get past it, as well as my sense of responsibility, I would do it.
 
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