Those of you who wants to ctb, what's holding you back from doing it?

[Silent_cries]

Mine is the fact that I'm still capable of enjoying things, the fact that my mind keeps wanting to think that things will get better when I know they won't, the thought of never being able to enjoy good foods, snacks and drinks again, SI, and the fear of the unknown.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Just waiting for the moment.

 

[marchshift]

Traumatic failed attempts.

 

[dementedpsycho]

scared of jumping

worried my mom might ctb as well if I did it

religious, so fear of eternal hell

 

[Willy Wonka]

money. just gimme that f***in´ money.

 

[iloverachel]

I don't want my parents to be devastated.

 

[Olisop21.]

I have a fear of missing out on things that I should enjoy. All I think about is partial hanging. I've od'd many times. Part of my dilemma is the fantasy world I live in. Trying to get the courage to move past my fears of the unknown and the actual act. I keep trying to compress my carotid arteries. I am so insane.

 

[Umacon]

I have everything I need, SN propranolol, meto, Xanax. The only thing that keeps me from doing it, is the fear of failure.

 

[2ndme]

motivation to jump

 

[pinkhellokitty]

hurting parents and lack of SN

 

[RedDoor]

Hell and what would happen if i didn't succeed

 

[sserafim]

SI and fear, risk and consequences of failure. I don't want my life to get even worse due to a failed attempt. I would hate to get permanent damage

 

[Chronosphere]

SI and fear, risk and consequences of failure. I don't want my life to get even worse due to a failed attempt. I would hate to get permanent damage

Same. If only victims of failed suicide were given the rest they wanted so much. But noooo, let's save his life and let him rot in a broken husk that is sure a right thing to do.

 

[UKscotty]

Not ready yet.

I believe once we are ready the SI will be gone. The longer I have wanted to CTB, the more black and white my view is. We are ready or we are not.

 

[Silent_cries]

Not ready yet.

I believe once we are ready the SI will be gone. The longer I have wanted to CTB, the more black and white my view is. We are ready or we are not.

True, I think I'm getting pretty close to being ready at this point. My fears and uncertanties are shrinking slowly but certainly day by day. Heck, I might even attempt today. I guess only time will tell at this point.

 

[FuneralCry]

Because for me there isn't the option to die in a painless, guaranteed way, I really despise this evil world where suicide is pretty much illegal, it's beyond hellish how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible. Also what I'd fear is trying to die potentially going wrong and leading to way worse suffering as a result, the thought of such happening is beyond horrifying.

 

[jacobryan]

Fear of failing in my attempt. Also, sense of responsibility and not wanting to hurt the people I care about and who care about me. If I try and fail, then I will know I disappointed them and have to face them. If I succeed, they will be even more hurt, even though I won't be around to know it.

 

[deathslament]

Fear of it hurting too much that I end up (for some reason) stopping it.

 

[Andrew10]

I don't even know it myself, it's something strange, a kind of feeling that I don't know that prevents me from CTB, I consider that feeling as a final boss that blocks my goal and my internal motivation is to defeat it to find eternal peace. I should have died in 2021 but I'm just here looking nothing because of that.

 

[theboy]

family and IS. I'm in therapy so I guess my thoughts are changing but it's hard to get out of it.

 

[Done_With_It_All]

Other people are...being watched is really annoying

 

[Valky]

Family :,) if I was alone in this world I would have probably killed myself when I was 13.

 

[Silent_cries]

Other people are...being watched is really annoying

Maybe try to act better and make them trust you enough to leave you alone for long enough to do it? That's what I've been doing since I have people around me all the time too. Or try to get yourself discharged the same way if ur in the hospital. I hate it too when people prevent me from being able to ctb, but I've found that gaining ppls trust and being patient is the best way to deal with that. Ik waiting can be extremely excruciating, but there is no talking people out of it unfortunately. Most "normal" people aren't going to willingly let you ctb no matter what you say to them sadly. Belive me, I've tried! >_<

 

[divinemistress36]

Fear of failing and becoming a vegetable

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Fear of failing and becoming a vegetable

You won't be conscious so you'll have achieved your goal. They won't keep anyone on life support for too long anyway

 

[userfromgermany]

I think it's the thought of Not being part of the story anymore with my friends keeping enjoying their lifes and me not being there. Technically that's already the case but I still can't let go.

 

[ctbcat]

takes effort, takes work, etc... i think that's the jist of it. i've already accepted in order to die i must just ignore all and bite the bullet, but how can i do such if i have nothing stocked up to kill myself with? ... i've tried deadlines and such and i live on anyway, worser off than the week before

of course, there's probably other factors... but i haven't even gotten the chance to ctb since i made the plan to not live past this year... i really annoy myself lol

 

[anxiousmess0471]

I'm afraid of surviving and being left with irreversible damage to my body. Making me even more of a burden to my family.

 

[strangelife]

1) want to spent more time with my loved ones
2) need to finish some deals
3) afraid of permanent damage if I fail. Sn is my method and I have it

 

[Olisop21.]

Mine is the fact that I'm still capable of enjoying things, the fact that my mind keeps wanting to think that things will get better when I know they won't, the thought of never being able to enjoy good foods, snacks and drinks again, SI, and the fear of the unknown.

takes effort, takes work, etc... i think that's the jist of it. i've already accepted in order to die i must just ignore all and bite the bullet, but how can i do such if i have nothing stocked up to kill myself with? ... i've tried deadlines and such and i live on anyway, worser off than the week before

of course, there's probably other factors... but i haven't even gotten the chance to ctb since i made the plan to not live past this year... i really annoy myself lol

I want to be rid of my SI. I keep setting times everyday then when it gets to that time, I set another time.