This time next year, do you think you will be dead?

[Lost Magic]

I would prefer to be gone this year. I really don't want to be here another full year. I just can't keep living like this. Maybe I will wait till I get my rejection letter for my book and then I'll call it quits. Or I might just impulsively go before then. Time will tell. It's getting crazier out there though. I don't know how much more I can handle all the crazy shit that the world keeps churning out. Something has to break. Eventually.

 

[heavyeyes]

Not sure. With some luck maybe I won't be

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Who knows

 

[Talvikki]

This year I will be dead

 

[nifii]

Yeah i hope so. For some reason if i die by suicide, i would like to die before i'm 24. Which is in February 2023. I'm not sure tho

 

[theboy]

I am overwhelmed at the thought of this. I want to leave this damned earth but I don't know how.

 

[lifeORdeath]

Quite possibly. It depends on what happens and when

 

[Wait-Bus]

I honestly don't know. I'm just waiting. Sorry that's not a very good answer. Maybe I'm still holding out some hope that things will improve

I actually totally understand. There is just a moment that says it's now. But you won't know it's arrived till it has.

 

[Hurt]

I don't know. I just try to live the day. It's hard.

I honestly don't know. I'm just waiting. Sorry that's not a very good answer. Maybe I'm still holding out some hope that things will improve

Same. Waiting..

 

[Ethereal Knight]

the expiry date of my soon-to-arrive SN is going to be my motivator

did you read the PPH? the expiration date on the SN doesn't matter. as long as the container is sealed, its shelf-life is almost infinite.

just don't break the seal and it will be fine.

 

[PurpleMonkey]

Why're so you grumpy, buddy? I learned from other threads that SN loses efficacy over time.

 

[mojabaka]

I'll probably still be here unfortunately. I have my SN and everything, but am too scared to suicide. Why the fuck did I have to be disabled by that bloody "vaccine"?

 

[makethepainstop]

I imagine I will be. For some reason, it makes me feel content.

I most certainly hope I am a memory by time.

 

[Shivali]

I really don't know ...

 

[SamTam33]

I can't imagine being here for another year. All of a sudden, I have this overwhelming desire to gut myself. To slit my throat and pull out my inerts. I doubt that's even a thing that can happen. But in this moment, it's all I want to do.

Sometimes I want to just stab at myself until I get tired. But then I'll be left with a bunch of wounds to tend to. And I'm too exhausted to do that. So I distract myself until the feeling passes.

But it keeps coming back. I've never wanted to be one of those people who blamed the world and society at large for any of my problems, but that resolve is slipping away. And I blame them.

I can't change who I am or how the world sees me. I've tried everything to alter what they might see. It doesn't work. I am the lowest common denominator in this society.

So I scream until I feel light-headed because there's nothing else I can do.

I drink and take some sleeping pills. That slows my mind down, so that's good.

I remind myself that I'm the only one who cares enough about me to permanently improve my situation.

I'm the only one who can stop this train and demand to get off.

No one else is going to help me unboard/deboard (whatever it's called when you get off a train, I can't remember).

I simply HAVE to be gone by this time next year. I have to be willing to help myself.

I have to care enough about myself to put an end to the torture.

 

[hiddenbpd]

I've decided January would be a nice time to go, so I hope this time next year I'm dead, but I've been unable to do it before so we'll see.

 

[Irrumi]

Recently I just tried to imagine what would happen after I died. I realized that I wouldn't be able to bring so much pain to my loved ones. I wish they could understand, but they won't. I don't have the strength to do that.

So I'll have to suffer next year, too.

So I'll just live to see the moment when I'm not needed as much by anyone. My parents will die, my friends will all have their own families. Maybe I'll have a good way to die, I hope. That's all.

 

[lemonhoney]

I sure hope so

 

[savoytruffle]

2023 will be my last year

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I wish I could be gone but I basically do nothing about staying or leaving… That's probably why I only shop for food or plan ahead a day at a time… Hard to think Beyond the next day

 

[ryo the frog]

most likely not. I've postponed ctb to years from now. though sometimes the desire for non existence gets so strong I feel I might cave early.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

No idea, to be honest. It could genuinely go either way. The uncertainty is anxiety provoking. I'd rather know whether my situation will improve or deteriorate, whether I will stay or go. But life rarely works out that way - I will have to wait and find out, but I don't hold much hope.

 

[CTB Dream]

No please no stay anymore not know future not wabt stay had enough not wabt morw year . Maybe completely veg next year who know

 

[Maudlin]

Sometimes, yes.

Sometimes, no.

Sometimes I really wanna see utter societal collapse, and want to see what crazy lengths I go to in order to handle it.

I think that might happen within 12 months.

 

[Dark Moon]

Maybe, I still need to find a method first.

 

[yourrealname]

hell yea dude .. my plan is to ctb mid-november. i just have to get my anti anxietys and im taking sn

 

[HelloIamSummer]

I wish. But I'm really scared of pain, so I don't think so.

 

[MeriDeath]

Hopefully.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I better be.

 

[AnxietyHangover]

I promised myself I won't live another year like this. I don't think I would be physically able to do so anyway, as I am going down a destructive path.
If nothing improves by the end of the year I will ctb, SN or hanging, whatever I have available. I'm scared of hanging since it's a high risk method, but getting SN seems to be harder than I thought in the first place. So probably late December if nothing improves. I know it's around Christmas time but that's my ultimatum. I know I delayed it a bit, by a few months, but I wanted to make sure I gave myself all the chances.