This may be a dark take

[mekhi]

I wish I could take my younger sister with me. Having been abused by my parents growing up and witnessing her endure that same abuse is so heartbreaking. And I'm her only outlet. We have an 11 yr age gap. She's only in elementary school but she would still remember me if I passed. She would probably feel abandoned. She's honestly the only reason why I've held out this long but my time is running out. I can stay here much longer. I just feel so guilty and wish she could catch the bus with me. As dark as that sounds I'd rather that than her be left by herself with those 2 monsters. Feeling hurt and betrayed by me.
Does anyone else feel this way? I wish I could take my dog too. Wouldn't want her to miss my presence. My parents are a horrible replacement. They barely even pay attention to our dog either. Leave her locked up in a darn cage all day she would be heartbroken when I'm gone.

 

[schmebyulok]

hello friend, i am very sorry that you feel this way. i understand how you feel to an extent because one of the reasons why i havent ctb'd yet is because of my siblings. i dont want to scar them or leave them behind.

despite this, i hope that u do not act on this thinking of taking her with u, as it would be violating her right to choose to live or to die (i take it that your desire to ctb is supported by being pro-choice).

 

[roborabbit]

I've often thought this about my mom. I don't know if she'll make it if im gone.

 

[kirillbledny]

I get where you're coming from, I can't lie, I've thought this about my grandma. Both me and her spend all day every day home, I'm her access to look things up, order things, email, sending texts from her phone, etc. She's been talking about being suicidal her whole life, ever since I was a kid I was hearing about her attempts and quite traumatic life. She's starting to show signs of dementia and I even talked about it with her openly last month. What's strange is that about a week after I had the thought of just offering it to her, she spontaneously said that now that she's in her 80s, she rarely even thinks about suicide anymore, and she's really just enjoying life. I was never really serious about it tbh, but it definitely crossed my mind and I'm just glad she's happy.

 

[mekhi]

That was very thoughtful of you, to check in with her about she feels with suicide. My little sister has stated things like "she wants to die so she can go to heaven" she said she hates our parents and wants new ones. I just feel so bad. She's so young and will be left with much life left to live after I ctb. I hate feeling this way
Ha

I've often thought this about my mom. I don't know if she'll make it if im gone.

Have you thought about how you want to spend your last moments with her? Doing something you like together or nothing out of the ordinary? I've considered having a day of fun just for me and my sister. But I feel like that will make her even sadder when I leave

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Is there no way to fight for her so she can LIVE elsewhere, hopefully in a better situation?

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I have. But all of my other relatives couldn't care less about her wellbeing. This might sound random, but I'm a twin-less twin. My twin sister and I were abused by our parents growing up. As a result she took her own life last year. She scheduled a post on her socials exposing my parents for being the reason she committed. Blantaly called them abusive. Many of our family members have seen that post, yet continue to pretend that nothing happened. None of them care to check in with me or my little sister after everything. So yea, I'd say in many ways my twin sister fought by making that post. Still no one cares to intervene.

I'm sorry for your loss & I'm sorry to hear, but I didn't mean with other family. Is there no way to get CPS involved?

 

[mekhi]

I'm sorry for your loss & I'm sorry to hear, but I didn't mean with other family. Is there no way to get CPS involved?

I've considered Cps but I'm afraid she could be taken away and in the foster care system or placed in an even more abusive home. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as pessimistic. I really appreciate your advice and responses. It's just there's a downside to every outcome in this situation.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I've considered Cps but I'm afraid she could be taken away and in the foster care system or placed in an even more abusive home. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as pessimistic. I really appreciate your advice and responses. It's just there's a downside to every outcome in this situation.

Indeed. She could be placed somewhere better or somewhere even worse. But a chance of somewhere better might be worth taking.

 

[Off_Switch]

The best thing you can do for her is help her improve her life while you're still here.