This may be a dark take

[mekhi]

I wish I could take my younger sister with me. Having been abused by my parents growing up and witnessing her endure that same abuse is so heartbreaking. And I'm her only outlet. We have an 11 yr age gap. She's only in elementary school but she would still remember me if I passed. She would probably feel abandoned. She's honestly the only reason why I've held out this long but my time is running out. I can stay here much longer. I just feel so guilty and wish she could catch the bus with me. As dark as that sounds I'd rather that than her be left by herself with those 2 monsters. Feeling hurt and betrayed by me.
Does anyone else feel this way? I wish I could take my dog too. Wouldn't want her to miss my presence. My parents are a horrible replacement. They barely even pay attention to our dog either. Leave her locked up in a darn cage all day she would be heartbroken when I'm gone.

 

[schmebyulok]

hello friend, i am very sorry that you feel this way. i understand how you feel to an extent because one of the reasons why i havent ctb'd yet is because of my siblings. i dont want to scar them or leave them behind.

despite this, i hope that u do not act on this thinking of taking her with u, as it would be violating her right to choose to live or to die (i take it that your desire to ctb is supported by being pro-choice).

 

[roborabbit]

I've often thought this about my mom. I don't know if she'll make it if im gone.

 

[kirillbledny]

I get where you're coming from, I can't lie, I've thought this about my grandma. Both me and her spend all day every day home, I'm her access to look things up, order things, email, sending texts from her phone, etc. She's been talking about being suicidal her whole life, ever since I was a kid I was hearing about her attempts and quite traumatic life. She's starting to show signs of dementia and I even talked about it with her openly last month. What's strange is that about a week after I had the thought of just offering it to her, she spontaneously said that now that she's in her 80s, she rarely even thinks about suicide anymore, and she's really just enjoying life. I was never really serious about it tbh, but it definitely crossed my mind and I'm just glad she's happy.

 

[mekhi]

That was very thoughtful of you, to check in with her about she feels with suicide. My little sister has stated things like "she wants to die so she can go to heaven" she said she hates our parents and wants new ones. I just feel so bad. She's so young and will be left with much life left to live after I ctb. I hate feeling this way