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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
4,192
In the words of Jeff Buckley:

This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it's over
Just hear this and then I'll go

Please if its ok dont ask me about protocols & where I got everything: all the info is here somewhere, seek & yee shall find!

Basically -I did 2 x 10mg of Meto yesterday-just as a kind of 'top up'

Today will be 3 x 10mg in total (I dont see the point of last triple dose)

Will have a couple of parcetamol plus 1 Zantac (I dont wanna do all these triple doses)

Got a few low dose Benzos.

If your young (and older too- if you have even a glimmer of hope left) please please for me give life a chance...

There's a whole world of beauty and joy out there...I just ruined everything...treasure all the little things whilst you can...most of all human connections, music, art, beauty, food & laughter.

Peace & Love.


current mood

@MeltingHeart ,
I thought you were the nicest woman. I always wanted to chat with you but now i guess it's too late.I'm very sad that you are gone.
MeltingHeart my heart is melted.
I always wanted to chat with you but i was too afraid . In part i thought you might not accept my "dark" extremely nihilistic philosophy part of which but not all is signified by Thomas Wolfe as he starts his book
Look Homeward Angel:
". . . a stone, a leaf, an unfound door; a stone, a leaf, a door. And of all the forgotten faces.

Naked and alone we came into exile. In her dark womb we did not know our mother's face; from the prison of her flesh have we come into the unspeakable and incommunicable prison of this earth.

Which of us has known his brother? Which of us has looked into his father's heart? Which of us has not remained forever prison-pent? Which of us is not forever a stranger and alone?

O waste of lost, in the hot mazes, lost, among bright stars on this weary, unbright cinder, lost! Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again."


― Thomas Wolfe, Look Homeward, Angel
 
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Loner

Loner

Member
Jun 16, 2019
80
I am so sad to hear this. I wish you peace and sending you lots of love :heart: :heart:
 
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Reactions: LMLN
coffeehouse

coffeehouse

Member
Oct 31, 2019
16
I hope you find the peace you are looking for, I also ruined everything around me.
 
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Reactions: hatelife
H

hatelife

Experienced
Oct 13, 2019
269
I miss you :( Im sorry I could not help you in any other way, I feel so guilty omg, I wish I could have helped u in another way, Im sick too and want to die but I believe in God and cant help but feel what I did is wrong and not my job to help someone like that :(
 
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exhausted

exhausted

Experienced
Oct 22, 2019
253
Can't believe it. You were lovely to me.
 
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Reactions: issyishere, Ἡγησίας and hatelife
Ἡγησίας

Ἡγησίας

The persuader
May 20, 2019
201
I don't know why today I ended up remembering you, I still appreciate your warm cares when I was broken. Beautiful human being, keep shinning.
 
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Venus13

Venus13

Experienced
Oct 2, 2022
233
nah im done- i fucking LOVED life !!! people destroyed me & now i cant function, life is amazing- icant have the life iwant now
I'll never forget you. You still cross my mind randomly and I could never pinpoint why you impacted me so much. Reading this thread outside the blur of my own traumatic era lets me see more clearly. You're well into the realm outside this one now. Much love to you to this day.
 

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