this could be goodbye

[goodoldnoname923]

in tent again unfortunately got malwai and zip was bust so i had to stick with eurohike hopefully it'll work but i have my doubts

 

[painoflife]

in tent again unfortunately got malwai and zip was bust so i had to stick with eurohike hopefully it'll work but i have my doubts

How are you?
The past few days sound very frustrating for you, are you still sticking with this method?

 

[goodoldnoname923]

How are you?
The past few days sound very frustrating for you, are you still sticking with this method?

Honestly i had a panic attack earlier because of my inability to escape so i feel like i may have minor PTSD for that

And i don't really see a choice i wanna leave quick and painless and i need to die before the 7th

 

[painoflife]

Sorry to hear about the panic attack, its extra stress you really dont need rn.
I hope it works out for you in time

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Ordered the malwai again couldn't refund the sports direct one unfortunately but i should be able to pick it up tomorrow if this one is somehow bust too well…please y'all gimme other painless or easy accessiable methods cause i wanna die before the 7th even willint to partner

I've gotten everything i need today but the tent and i'll be sure to get everything set up tomorrow hoping this works

 

[DepressedDude]

Why don't you use a bin or small chest freezer? It'll be more airtight than a tent.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Thoughts got to my head,i got so overwhelmed i went over to my house in the middle of the night (i was at parents 10 minute walk away) went over there grabbed my knife and tried to slit my throat

I did this for some time even managing to make a gash (not sure if i'm allowed to share) i know this blade is strong enough it's just wether i am…i really tried but I couldn't do it

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I got to confess i'm starting to get anxious about my plan,after reading up about potential brain damage from CO posioning thinking more about myself my life and everything and how desperately i want to go and how I can't really find another way


I'm worried about this not working again with the malwai,i'm worried about getting cold feet and getting out or the heat being too hot or not being able to pass out or waking up in agonising pain again…i'm afraid of it going wrong once again terrified even not just because of potential damage but not really having another painless way out

 

[blackwidow]

I think you need to take a few steps back and a bit of a breather.. You've certainly had a chaotic time of it lately.. Relax.. Rethink.. And calm your self down if you can..

 

[IonicLemon69]

Take your time. I know you desperately want to go for the meantime we are here to support you. I'm sorry things haven't been working out as you've planned them to.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

So i need real help now

I've finally got the malwai (praying it doesn't bust this time) I'm planning to tape it up as much as possible use the sheet of tarp again double up on the grills do so late at night so its not as hot in the tent and more manageable

I've taped up both the window and door is there anything else i'm missing? Idk how long to cook the carlcoal for optimum CO

And whats really pushed me over the edge is all my messages with my best friend in the world have been modified by some hacker from Nottingham and there is no way of getting them back so now blue believes i'm a complete monster

And I can't live in a world like that even with prove not being possible to prove anything i can't

So again looking to get as much help as possible to get this fully right I can't afford to fail again
I've taped all the mesh vents is there anything else i need to do to ensure success

I'll be putting the tarp over later again doubling up on grills what else should i do?

 

[goodoldnoname923]

So i thought i was saving my friend turns out i was just lied to by a bunch of crypto scammers so i have every intention on going again with co anything else i need to take into consideration I haven't before?

 

[final_countdown12]

So i thought i was saving my friend turns out i was just lied to by a bunch of crypto scammers so i have every intention on going again with co anything else i need to take into consideration I haven't before?

Hello
What do you think were your mistakes in your attempts?

 

[Numbern9ne303808909]

I'm in the tent with CO as we speak and the smell in my nosils and feeling in my head is far from pleasant but I wouldn't call it painful. I'd say its more anxious than anything. I really hope this works but i'm not sure it will tbh its kinda scary but i may finally find peace

I guess i want to apologise to my parents for taking this action,i want to apologise to all the people i hurt over the years with all my mental issues and i want to apologise to myself for not being a better person

I want to thank all the kind and informative people i've found on this on this community and i wish you all the best in finding the peace you all serve or managing to find joy in existence

Either way i will be sure to update you if i somehow survive but if not i bid all thy fairwell

Hopefully not..... look at a bird and a bee, for yourself no-one else.... be the one that can share your experiences..... if you can find it in yourself to live do it for you.... Nobody will ever give you the 'answer' but you are never ever alone in your feelings

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Hello
What do you think were your mistakes in your attempts?

I made many but i feel i've corrected them all,its more about what addictions i could make to my method to ensure success

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Got the malwai and everything set up now it's just waiting for the day i know that i'm ready,i know i want and need this because everyday the pain is overpowering the guilt i feel the regret the absence of her the inability to find happiness or meaningful change.

All i need to do now is wait for when my heart and mind are in agreement with this,however long that takes idrk

 

[goodoldnoname923]

This is my plan whenever i choose to execute it


1. Put paper and coal in grills at and light at 6pm

2. Make sure coal is burning and wait over it

3. Ensure the tent is ready with tarp and everything else

4. When smoke stops move red coal around to surface to cool quicker

5. Bring coal in and put into tent

6. Get water soaked towel ready and put in tent shut door and get in tent

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Ok so tonight (if not tonight within the next couple of days definitely) I'm going to try going back to my bag method which had some adaptations thanks to a friend from the forum i will not mention here

Basically my plan is to use this polyster bag put it on my head pull the strings tighting the bag to my head as tightly as i deem possible all before popping my anit depressants which work as a sadaive and slowly fall asleep having the bag slowly kill me

This will be somewhat emotionally distressing especially given i felt i nearly succeeded with this method long ago without being asleep so hopefully this time it succeeds

I'll be having a friend on call with me to calm me through this process until the meds do their job and hopefully it'll succeed and i'll be gone

I plan to do so tonight if i try and fail i'll be sure to let you know but i'd go off the assume if you don't see me online after 72 hours between the next couple of days I'd assume i succeeded

If this doesn't happen to work CO isn't off the table for me i just want you all to know

Again if this is the last time we speak i want to thank everyone on this forum for being helpful supportive understanding and finally caring i will miss many of you and enjoyed your company and nice comments