Venting Thinking about life

[s0ft.bldd]

No need to read, I just wanted to vent a little bit here

Last week, I sh again due stress since I got overwhelmed

But some days ago after that incident, a really close friend of mine told me he was proud of me, and that got me thinking a LOT.

No matter how emotionally intelligent you are, no matter how much you know a person, you will never know what they are suffering from the inside. He is proud, but why? For me, everything got worse, what could he had seen to say that? Im self destructive, and he is unaware of that

I should stop using this "happy and funny" girl thing for a minute and focus on myself, but I just can't, I don't know why

I feel so stupid now

 

[limerance1]

Proud of you for doing sh? It's a weird thing to say. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what he thinks, it's about what you think and how it makes you feel.

 

[Sutter]

No need to read, I just wanted to vent a little bit here

Last week, I sh again due stress since I got overwhelmed

But some days ago after that incident, a really close friend of mine told me he was proud of me, and that got me thinking a LOT.

No matter how emotionally intelligent you are, no matter how much you know a person, you will never know what they are suffering from the inside. He is proud, but why? For me, everything got worse, what could he had seen to say that? Im self destructive, and he is unaware of that

I should stop using this "happy and funny" girl thing for a minute and focus on myself, but I just can't, I don't know why

I feel so stupid now

Sparkle.

Its a rough mantle to lay on others in the world, knowing without knowing. Most people need to be told how you feel, how your day has gone for you, what assaulted your heart that day. Even if someone is out going and assertive enough some people are still beyond imaginable super dense. Honestly, he saw the illusion you laid down for him, in whatever he saw, it was his opinion on something that you did really well considering what he knows of you. In short maybe he did his best for what he knows.

As the other point given, it is your business not someone elses. Souls ask for help and often make mistakes or place unreal expectations on those they do. It is a hard choice picking a person to talk to, really talk, real caring, a partner in the boat with you. That is the person the humanity herd needs, I think. That doesnt solve any problems, no utopia happens, the bat butt crazy super panicked cat freak outs the world throws out are still there. For me as it may well be for you, walking in the thickest darkness is in some small measure better with someone who really cares.

IF and may be a big IF a real caring companion, friend, significant other, what have you, is something your interested in. Then might be worthwhile to gently prod those you value with a bit of who you are and carefully with open eyes see the response. Sincerity never hides her face.

"Happy funny girl survives", people will communicate with, take notice of. That is a strong enough motivation right there for that illusion. Its not stupid its a survival instinct, and effective at connecting and reducing stress.

Walking through hell is a small bit more pleasant with someone at your side, in the darkness. Someone with a full sequine outfit looking like their own personal universe, dimly lighting the path wherever it may lead.