theRetroHawk
Member
- Jun 18, 2023
- 48
So my birthday is coming up and I was thinking that it would probably be the best day to ctb, I'm still under the control of my SI to think things can get better but I don't feel like they can. I think I'm going to go to my last year of school and see what happens if I can't get a job in the field a year and about a week from today I will finally leave this hell hole. I really want to post more on here just to explain my thought process and reasons if that would even be interesting for anyone to read. I find it funny because even when I try I am helpless. I managed to get back to the gym for about two weeks along with eating healthy and I managed to drop about 15 pounds quick. It's like the say the higher you are up the harder you fall it's been about a week I've completely given up I was waking up at 8 am now I can't even get out of bed until it's time to get ready for work and I had actually began to quit masturbating but now I'm addicted again. Idk why I do this to myself I want to be healthy and normal I really do. I want to get out of bed, I want to play video games, I want to live my life but something is blocking me and I don't understand it I assume it's just some chemical brain thing and I'm fucked with no cure.
I also gained back all the weight :/
I also gained back all the weight :/