theRetroHawk

theRetroHawk

Member
Jun 18, 2023
48
So my birthday is coming up and I was thinking that it would probably be the best day to ctb, I'm still under the control of my SI to think things can get better but I don't feel like they can. I think I'm going to go to my last year of school and see what happens if I can't get a job in the field a year and about a week from today I will finally leave this hell hole. I really want to post more on here just to explain my thought process and reasons if that would even be interesting for anyone to read. I find it funny because even when I try I am helpless. I managed to get back to the gym for about two weeks along with eating healthy and I managed to drop about 15 pounds quick. It's like the say the higher you are up the harder you fall it's been about a week I've completely given up I was waking up at 8 am now I can't even get out of bed until it's time to get ready for work and I had actually began to quit masturbating but now I'm addicted again. Idk why I do this to myself I want to be healthy and normal I really do. I want to get out of bed, I want to play video games, I want to live my life but something is blocking me and I don't understand it I assume it's just some chemical brain thing and I'm fucked with no cure.
I also gained back all the weight :/
 
soonatpeace777888

soonatpeace777888

Specialist
Jul 4, 2023
349
The great thing about CTB is that there really is no time limit. You can last as long as you can and its always there.
 
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theRetroHawk

theRetroHawk

Member
Jun 18, 2023
48
The great thing about CTB is that there really is no time limit. You can last as long as you can and its always there.
Yeah exactly I want it to be a last resort but the more I try to look positively at things the more I get slapped in the face I just know my time is coming
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,878
It must be tiring being trapped in that situation but anyway I wish you the best with your plans, existence is just too cruel.
 
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