Venting They don't know what loneliness really is

[sonnyw]

People often don't understand what true loneliness is. This isn't to say that my loneliness matters more than anyone else's, but I often see people complaining about being lonely because, for example, they can't go to a party with friends on a Saturday night.

Others feel lonely even though they have a supportive family, friends, and a loving partner. I saw this frequently during the lockdown in the pandemic. Many people said they were lonely because they couldn't leave their homes, yet they still had people who cared about them, whom they could videocall, and they knew that they would be able to hang out together again once the lockdown ended.

My situation is nothing like that. When I say I am lonely, I truly mean it. I have NOBODY. My family hates me, I have zero friends, and I've never been in a relationship.

I feel like people out there don't even realize that people like us exist. They don't know what it's like to truly struggle every day. So, when you tell them you're lonely, they will offer unhelpful advice like, "it's best to be alone," or tell you that you should "focus on yourself" rather than seeking friendships or relationships.They simply don't understand what true loneliness really is.

 

[Macedonian1987]

My family dislikes me too, I have zero friends too, but I have been in just a single relationship with a sadistic girl who enjoyed seeing me suffer. She never loved me. That's why I decided I will end it once and for all. I just cannot live like that. As this was not enough, I have chronic pain on top of it all. I plan on drinking SN in the summer of 2026.

 

[sonnyw]

My family dislikes me too, I have zero friends too, but I have been in just a single relationship with a sadistic girl who enjoyed seeing me suffer. She never loved me. That's why I decided I will end it once and for all. I just cannot live like that. As this was not enough, I have chronic pain on top of it all. I plan on drinking SN in the summer of 2026.

I'm sorry about it... I hope things can get better for you

 

[Macedonian1987]

I'm sorry about it... I hope things can get better for you

Thank you, but sadly things are getting worse and worse for me with each passing year.

 

[overthehill]

I feel you. My entire social network is my mother, sometimes I resent her for that because she's also the only reason I can't kill myself and just be free. Explaining other people, especially women, what true loneliness is like is a waste of time. Only other outcasts truly understand, and we all understand that we're doomed.

Ironic, we can't befriend the only people who get us.

 

[evel¡n]

Finally sb i can relate to. Obviously i m not happy for your pain but it feels good to know i m not alone in this. It s so tiring seeing people with such full lives take everything for granted and so carelessly call themselves lonely when they have no idea what that s like, they don t know the weight this word carries. You worded that perfectly.

 

[nocatwaslost]

It is indeed worded perfectly and I can relate to this very much. As for me, I have given up on telling people about it and hoping they understand what I really feel like. I mean for them, the deepest low could almost be a high for us. They deem and view it as their lowest point but don't know that the hole could be much deeper, much colder, much darker and a lot more harder to get out.

 

[catsalvation]

I'm in the same position. I have no friends, family, partner, literally no close relationship in my life at all.
People who are not in this situation can't imagine this excruciating emotional pain. On top off the various trauma which a lot of us also suffered throughout our lives. Partially that's why I'm alone. And being abandoned is also a trauma by itself. Vicious circle.
Literally no one would even realize if I CTB today, I even considered scheduling an e-mail when (if) I'll do it because I don't want to make neighbors to find my badly decomposed body days/weeks later...
I'm sorry that a lot of us are in similar situation.
A part of my wish to exit is the fear that I can ever change this aspect of my life. And that I can't carry it much longer.

Edit: Yeah, and when people say these commonplaces like 'being alone doesn't mean loneliness'. Or 'your cat is your family'. Ok... It is better to not even share.
It can be even dangerous to be open about this, because sometimes people try to exploit us if they know there's noone in our corner.

 

[nocatwaslost]

I'm in the same position. I have no friends, family, partner, literally no close relationship in my life at all.
People who are not in this situation can't imagine this excruciating emotional pain. On top off the various trauma which a lot of us also suffered throughout our lives. Partially that's why I'm alone. And being abandoned is also a trauma by itself. Vicious circle.
Literally no one would even realize if I CTB today, I even considered scheduling an e-mail when (if) I'll do it because I don't want to make neighbors to find my badly decomposed body days/weeks later...
I'm sorry that a lot of us are in similar situation.
A part of my wish to exit is the fear that I can ever change this aspect of my life. And that I can't carry it much longer.

Edit: Yeah, and when people say these commonplaces like 'being alone doesn't mean loneliness'. Or 'your cat is your family'. Ok... It is better to not even share.
It can be even dangerous to be open about this, because sometimes people try to exploit us if they know there's noone in our corner.

hey fellow kitty, I hope you can get through the holidays somehow. For me it is one of the most devastating times of the year to be alone in. If you want, you can also write me

 

[slowlydying2mrrw]

People often don't understand what true loneliness is. This isn't to say that my loneliness matters more than anyone else's, but I often see people complaining about being lonely because, for example, they can't go to a party with friends on a Saturday night.

Others feel lonely even though they have a supportive family, friends, and a loving partner. I saw this frequently during the lockdown in the pandemic. Many people said they were lonely because they couldn't leave their homes, yet they still had people who cared about them, whom they could videocall, and they knew that they would be able to hang out together again once the lockdown ended.

My situation is nothing like that. When I say I am lonely, I truly mean it. I have NOBODY. My family hates me, I have zero friends, and I've never been in a relationship.

I feel like people out there don't even realize that people like us exist. They don't know what it's like to truly struggle every day. So, when you tell them you're lonely, they will offer unhelpful advice like, "it's best to be alone," or tell you that you should "focus on yourself" rather than seeking friendships or relationships.They simply don't understand what true loneliness really is.

I think you can define loneliness based on your situation because no one knows it best than you.

We all have reasons to be lonely. Is it fair to say, "well at least you have family, mine died and I've lived in Foster homes all my life? I only know pimps and prostitutes as my social network, and I can't find a job, so I steal, have sex for money, and lie to survive.... And you have a family? What do you know about being lonely?"

We all have our reasons and it's our own silent epidemic. You kinda sound like them that you are speaking against.

 

[skipping_stones]

Loneliness is fucking harrowing.
Even when I thought I finally found friends after being isolated for most of my childhood and teenage years - I ended up attracting people who only used me when they needed a shoulder to cry on or a space to vent. And ofc as soon as i outlived my purpose - I'd just be dumped over and over again, never mind even the slightest ability to have the space to talk about my struggles. I have found that since I spent my formative years completely alone, trapped in an abusive-manipulatory household - the loneliness set in so much that it never truly goes away. It's like a chest pain that persists no matter If I'm surrounded by people or not, and I know that even if magically I'd be blasted with this divine light of pure love and affection - it would still not be enough.

Alas, it doesn't happen in the real world. Can't live with people and can't live without them, hence me slowly loosing everyone around me no matter what I do...
But for what it's worth, I hope that in some way things get better for you, or at least less painful.

 

[Dinorun]

+1 to everything said above me

I think because of isolation and spending my entire childhood alone people can tell I'm "off"
My brain knows really well to remind me I'm alone as well, i even developed ticks where when I'm at hom I scream "I have no friends", "I'm alone", or "im autistic" involuntary whenever I have dark thoughts.
my parents got used to it it doesn't even bother them or at least they don't show if it does.
Sometimes when I study in class it can just come out of me in whispers and then I wonder if the people next to me understood what just came out of my mouth which makes my ticks worse and I have to go out for a walk and maybe a chat with ai. So stupid. I hate my brain

 

[Abort!]

Prolonged solitary confinement is outlawed in prisons for a reason. The human psyche is not able to withstand such prolonged durations alone. It's not natural, nor is it fair. Probably far worse than a pack a day. It's a special kind of hell I wouldn't wish on anyone.

 

[Pluto]