I know, I know, the title is extremely generic compared to the other threads on this forum. Literally stole the idea from the name of that corny nu metal song from guitar hero 3.
Anyways, there truly is nothing for me in this life. All attempts at any meaningful change in my life have all led to continuous failure. I've had enough. It is a life goal of mine to finally cease my existence at the young age of 28 years old. I am currently 26 right now.
Why 28 years old specifically you may ask? I currently have 2 years remaining to pay off my car note. It's unfortunately under my dad's name and credit, so if I were to end things before paying it off fully, I would leave my family in an even worse financial situation than they're already in currently. He already has nowhere near enough to retire. The least I could do for my family is to cut things off as cleanly as possible. I can do this by fully paying off my car before I ctb.
It's honestly very exciting yet calming at the same time knowing I will be gone in 2 years. No more car note payments. No more soul crushing night shifts at this shitty amazon warehouse. No more romantic rejection. No more ignored messages sent to women who would never be interested in me. And best of all, no more hopelessness spirals.
I would be lying if I said it didn't feel bittersweet either. It hurts to know I will never experience what it's like for a woman to reciprocate attraction towards me. I will never know what it's like to live a peaceful life with a woman who deeply loves me while sharing the same living space as her. I'll miss out on a lot of future popular media and technology. I'll also miss out on my brother starting his own family.
It's for the better though. Peace is upon me soon! :)
Just 2 more years.
Anyways, there truly is nothing for me in this life. All attempts at any meaningful change in my life have all led to continuous failure. I've had enough. It is a life goal of mine to finally cease my existence at the young age of 28 years old. I am currently 26 right now.
Why 28 years old specifically you may ask? I currently have 2 years remaining to pay off my car note. It's unfortunately under my dad's name and credit, so if I were to end things before paying it off fully, I would leave my family in an even worse financial situation than they're already in currently. He already has nowhere near enough to retire. The least I could do for my family is to cut things off as cleanly as possible. I can do this by fully paying off my car before I ctb.
It's honestly very exciting yet calming at the same time knowing I will be gone in 2 years. No more car note payments. No more soul crushing night shifts at this shitty amazon warehouse. No more romantic rejection. No more ignored messages sent to women who would never be interested in me. And best of all, no more hopelessness spirals.
I would be lying if I said it didn't feel bittersweet either. It hurts to know I will never experience what it's like for a woman to reciprocate attraction towards me. I will never know what it's like to live a peaceful life with a woman who deeply loves me while sharing the same living space as her. I'll miss out on a lot of future popular media and technology. I'll also miss out on my brother starting his own family.
It's for the better though. Peace is upon me soon! :)
Just 2 more years.
