Venting there's absolutely no chance I'll fail by being found

[dumbbitch42069]

I plan to CTB in the coming weeks when I get paid and can afford to buy supplies. I think I'll go by partial hanging; I considered SN but that seems difficult to obtain where I live, and also jumping, but I'm afraid of heights so I think I would chicken out. Luckily, any method would be very easy for me, in terms of not being found. I live alone and nobody keeps tabs on me. If I hanged or poisoned myself in my house, nobody would think to look for me for several days (probably not until I missed work). While this is great in terms of succeeding, it's also one of the reasons I'm doing it. I'm always alone, and it's unbearable. I've been chronically suicidal for at least a decade, ever since I was a tween probably. And I've told people this, especially recently, and how being alone is literally a threat to my physical safety, and nobody cares. It's a shame they'll probably be upset when they finally find me, because they didn't seem to care much about my pain when I was alive.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it's certainly true that most people don't care about the suffering of others, they only care about what directly affects themselves, and I understand that for many people loneliness can be very painful. But anyway I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find the freedom that you search for, life really is so unnecessarily cruel.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Same here, friend. If I CTB here at home, it might be weeks before anyone would be notified, and that would only occur after my mail started overflowing, or I started rotting and stinking. I don't have anyone anymore in my life. Literally. It's just the way things turned out. I've formulated a few plans, like right before I CTB, which would most likely be on a Saturday night, I would snail mail a letter to my local police explaining to them what I had done, where they could find me, what precautions, if any, they should take. That kind of thing. That way they would get the letter, maybe, on the following Tuesday, which should be plenty long enough to end up with a successful ending. That's really all I could come up with. I guess in the big picture, it really shouldn't matter if I lay dead for even six months, or a year, before being discovered. What do I care after I'm gone?

Disclaimer: If nothing else, I've learned (a little) to roll with the punches. Dying alone is just the icing on the cake, so to speak, and why do it if fate has delivered an alternative, a much better alternative, that I'm working on making come to fruition. I'm alone now and have been for so very long. My initial plans (dying alone) may have changed, so my focus now is on seeing if I can make the (new plans) happen. There are a few obstacles, rather large ones, honestly, that need to be worked out, yet, but one never knows, do they, unless they try? It's worth pursuing, that's for sure. And that's exactly what I'm doing.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck and peace.