B

Blueth

Member
May 9, 2024
60
My wish to not exist has been with me for a very long time. A wish that never comes true... There are no longer times when I wait for a miracle to happen. I don't have time to wait. I don't have this luxury.

I've always wanted to do this, but I never thought it would be this unknown and helpless.
My family now knows my intentions and wishes. I wish they didn't know!

But at some point the iceberg melted and everything came out in tears. Nothing good except that the best method I can do is SN and it's on the way right now.
Actually no, even that doesn't exactly make me feel better. There is no good feeling.
Because I make my mother very sad.
I wish I had a magic way to keep her from being upset.

Now all I can do is take the cargo to my room without them seeing it.
While waiting for SN, my mind is constantly on kitchen knives.
I wait in my bed, my body moving involuntarily, with the thought of a knife blow to my jugular vein or my heart.
The carotid artery appears to be fast. But if it fails and damages my voice, I feel that with the other tortures that will occur afterwards, I will be in a state of mind that cannot be covered by the concept of psychology.
And it's a very, very strong feeling.

I don't know if there is anything that hears my voice, the frequency of my thoughts, or if there is any power that can hear and perceive the frequency of my desire to disappear...
But even if it did, I'm still here and I have the pain of existence.
That's why, for the first time, I will make this wish somewhere, in a virtual place.

Here's my only wish.
I want to disappear as if I never existed.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,873
To permanently disappear is all I wish for as well, all I want is for it to be like I never existed at all, I wish there's the option to just erase our existence, it'd be such a relief to me and prevent so much meaningless suffering.
 
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DEATH IS FREEDOM

DEATH IS FREEDOM

Death is the solution to unsolvable problems.
Sep 13, 2023
607
There is no other way but to die and yet it is so difficult to die alone.
 
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Egroeg91

Member
Apr 25, 2024
14
I completely understand you Blueth. I wish I was never born, this life was nothing but pure hell for me.
 
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