• New TOR Mirror: suicidffbey666ur5gspccbcw2zc7yoat34wbybqa3boei6bysflbvqd.onion

  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

N

noname223

Angelic
Aug 18, 2020
4,441
Today I had freetime. I think my brain is fucked up due to abuse. I think highly abused people tend to unhealthy patterns of behavior. As a teenager I watched gore and I regret it. I have stopped doing that gladly.
But I think my mind still thinks about looking in the abyss. And the internet is kind of a mirror of the human soul. And many people are rotten. Sometime it is their response how to cope with abuse.

I think the internet is a blessing. It improved my life very very much. I could not imaggine a life without the internet anymore.

One could argue this website is also a sad or a dark place. But I am pretty sure that many allegations are wrong.
But still so many people suffer existentially and feel complete agony daily. For me personally I can deal with my suffering better because of this website. I have elaborated on that a lot. Still I can understand why people have negative stereotypes about suicide forums. Suicidality is pretty hard to understand. Most people only understand it when they face existential problems themselves. Some people have the logic if we ban talk about suicide the problem is solved. This is kind of the logic on Facebook which is quite sick. I read about a girl which was bullied into commiting suicide. Before she killed herself she opened up about her suicidality on facebook. And the people who bullied her reported her due to the fact she talked about suicidality. She was banned for a long time and I think this upset her even more. I did not want to tell that initallly but I think this is a good example why banning talk about suicide is pretty counterproductive.

I think there are places on the internet which should face way more critical reports than this forum. So instead of going after this forum other platforms should be scrutinized. I made some research. As I said my brain is fucked up and I am sometimes prone to fucked up things. At the same time I am very anxious so I try to avoid illegal behavior. For my research I only used safe websites. I did not visit the websites myself.

I searched on youtube for the most disturbing places on the internet. And damn there are some sick places. There are some places dedicated to doxx and bully other people so hard so that they commit suicide. I won't say any names. But there are also other rotten things.

So I watched some youtube videos. And read some wikipedia articles. Yeah sometimes the internet is a scary and disturbing place. Some people dedicate their whole freetime to bully other people online. Also to drive them into committing suicide. This is so disgusting and completely unnecessary. Life is already horrible enough. They do smear campaigns that last several years until the victims cannot take it anymore.

In the youtube video they talked also about the dark net. I mean if there are already so many disturbing website on the clearnet...yeah I stay away from that.
The video talked about a platform where one could get tips to kill other people, buy weapons, spy the webcames of not knowing victims, very disturbing pornography, the worst gore one can imagine, torture of animals

I have criticized gore a lot in this forum. I want to spread awareness but at the same I don't want to annoy people too much. But they talked also about real gore videos. Some websites only show the videos in a neutral way. But the worst things seem to be the comment section. I cannot remember I read much comments. But many people described that the comments under gore videos are extremely disgusting and inhuman. Probably the worst things one can imagine and even worse. In this video they also talked about webistes where the victims of gore vidoes get mocked. That is so disgraceful. I can somewhat understand wanting to show the full picture. Things you only see in media censored. In some way this is also kind of important. For example journalists can confirm by this way that the story is true and not a fake. I think some journalists need to watch those videos to do their job. Must be pretty tough.


I am already traumatized enough. By watching gore you can get PTSD. I don't want that. It always was a very bad way to cope. It was really counterproductive but I was young and could not open up to anyone.

Then they talked about 8chan. And in which ways 8chan is or was connected to crimes like shootings.

What do you think about such websties? Have you ever visited some?

Oh I forgot to mention one thing. Even on youtube you can fnd very disturbing videos. There are some gore videos on youtube. How animals get killed, or suicides etc. At least I think there are still some. I wonder why they did not ban this already. This could give bad press. I think the killing of JFK and the explicit suicide of one American politican is on youtube. Maybe becauee they are kind of historical events? But I wonder why the advertisers allow that. And don't protest more against that.
 
Last edited:
E

eve2004

DEAD YESTERDAY
Aug 17, 2019
577
Yes, there are some dangerous websites. I found some legal "stuff" after watching a documentary on the Jungle video site. You don't even have to dig very deep to find disturbing stuff. They pop up in your face because you didn't pay the premium for "ad-free" (or you're browser is shit and can't upgrade it).

It's easy to jump down the dark rabbit hole when you're triggered into a certain mental state... Happens all the time to me. I used to be able to control this by forcing myself to go outside or something but it just doesn't work anymore.
 
Mr_House

Mr_House

Black Mesa Research Facility (B.M.R.F.)
Jul 14, 2022
196
Today I had freetime. I think my brain is fucked up due to abuse. I think highly abused people tend to unhealthy patterns of behavior. As a teenager I watched gore and I regret it. I have stopped doing that gladly.
But I think my mind still thinks about looking in the abyss. And the internet is kind of a mirror of the human soul. And many people are rotten. Sometime it is their response how to cope with abuse.

I think the internet is a blessing. It improved my life very very much. I could not imaggine a life without the internet anymore.

One could argue this website is also a sad or a dark place. But I am pretty sure that many allegations are wrong.
But still so many people suffer existentially and feel complete agony daily. For me personally I can deal with my suffering better because of this website. I have elaborated on that a lot. Still I can understand why people have negative stereotypes about suicide forums. Suicidality is pretty hard to understand. Most people only understand it when they face existential problems themselves. Some people have the logic if we ban talk about suicide the problem is solved. This is kind of the logic on Facebook which is quite sick. I read about a girl which was bullied into commiting suicide. Before she killed herself she opened up about her suicidality on facebook. And the people who bullied her reported her due to the fact she talked about suicidality. She was banned for a long time and I think this upset her even more. I did not want to tell that initallly but I think this is a good example why banning talk about suicide is pretty counterproductive.

I think there are places on the internet which should face way more critical reports than this forum. So instead of going after this forum other platforms should be scrutinized. I made some research. As I said my brain is fucked up and I am sometimes prone to fucked up things. At the same time I am very anxious so I try to avoid illegal behavior. For my research I only used safe websites. I did not visit the websites myself.

I searched on youtube for the most disturbing places on the internet. And damn there are some sick places. There are some places dedicated to doxx and bully other people so hard so that they commit suicide. I won't say any names. But there are also other rotten things.

So I watched some youtube videos. And read some wikipedia articles. Yeah sometimes the internet is a scary and disturbing place. Some people dedicate their whole freetime to bully other people online. Also to drive them into committing suicide. This is so disgusting and completely unnecessary. Life is already horrible enough. They do smear campaigns that last several years until the victims cannot take it anymore.

In the youtube video they talked also about the dark net. I mean if there are already so many disturbing website on the clearnet...yeah I stay away from that.
The video talked about a platform where one could get tips to kill other people, buy weapons, spy the webcames of not knowing victims, very disturbing pornography, the worst gore one can imagine, torture of animals

I have criticized gore a lot in this forum. I want to spread awareness but at the same I don't want to annoy people too much. But they talked also about real gore videos. Some websites only show the videos in a neutral way. But the worst things seem to be the comment section. I cannot remember I read much comments. But many people described that the comments under gore videos are extremely disgusting and inhuman. Probably the worst things one can imagine and even worse. In this video they also talked about webistes where the victims of gore vidoes get mocked. That is so disgraceful. I can somewhat understand wanting to show the full picture. Things you only see in media censored. In some way this is also kind of important. For example journalists can confirm by this way that the story is true and not a fake. I think some journalists need to watch those videos to do their job. Must be pretty tough.


I am already traumatized enough. By watching gore you can get PTSD. I don't want that. It always was a very bad way to cope. It was really counterproductive but I was young and could not open up to anyone.

Then they talked about 8chan. And in which ways 8chan is or was connected to crimes like shootings.

What do you think about such websties? Have you ever visited some?

Oh I forgot to mention one thing. Even on youtube you can fnd very disturbing videos. There are some gore videos on youtube. How animals get killeed, or suicides etc. At least I think there are still some. I wonder why they did not ban this already. This could give bad press. I think the killings of JFK and the suicide of one American politican is on youtube. Maybe becauee they are kind of historicalevents? But I wonder why the advertisers allow that. And don't protest against that more.
Browsed a lot of Hanging Gore In my days Since I wanted to go the same way. I can agree that The comments on the videos are pretty disrespectful to the people, Some even called Hanging "boring" because it didn't show any gore, Some were beating their Sausages to "Hanged Girls with Tongues out Compilation" and belting out they're fantasies. I realized right then and there, Hell is real, and we're living it. Haven't touched gore since. Sorry to ruin the mood, I suppose the Internet is a great tool as a wrench is, but nothing is without its Ying and Yang/kinks. I just wish people were nicer to each other

EDIT: Hope I didn't make anyone angry (šŸ˜”)
 
Last edited:
Un-

Un-

I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
653
I mean I saw tons of sites of child pornograghy when I was 15, hoping on onion links and stuff. And, admittedly, I do go on quite a few gore sites. The Internet is.. And all of this fucked up shit is so readily available for anyone to see, it's ridiculous.

You're not entirely wrong about the people on those gore. Some people still have humanity within them; a lot of people are full of hatred. In my experience, it's been rather mixed. Genuinely. Sometimes you have people calling the dude a dick-riding nigger, another time you have people genuinely expressing empathy. It's just like any other social media platform, really.

The Internet has most things, but I feel like people overestimate what's really on here.
Mostly because things are spread anecdotally, rather than with evidence. It's easy to convince someone there's such a thing as a "red room", but if you're skeptic, you'll soon realise that you're better off believing unicorns exist - you don't have evidence. That's not to say something like a Red Room doesn't exist, but people hyperbolate a lot.

I've been to quite a lot of chans and private forums out of curiosity. I haven't spent a lot of time in places like 8chan, endchan, etcetera - mostly because they're dead - but I did remember stumbling across a forum in the realm of onion links.. It's main focus was like.. Your darkest confessions and shit. The amount of posts pertaining to incest was.. Yikes.

I don't know where I'm going with this. There's far more disturbing websites on the clearnet, though, because there's many more websites as compared to both the deep and dark Web. The more tech savy you are though, the better.

I do wanna say, though, that.. It's just my opinion.. But I think it's disrespectful to say stuff like gore videos or whatever traumatise you. It just rubs me the wrong way. I haven't been traumatised before, but I've seen people who have been - hell, people on this forum are severely traumatised - and that condition is far, far worse than anything you could ever get from online shit. At the end of the day, YOU'RE not experiencing it. Call me an asshole, but I don't how you can equate real life, physical trauma against seeing a fucking video - albeit the video is fucked up. I don't know.
 
Last edited:
N

noname223

Angelic
Aug 18, 2020
4,441
I mean I saw tons of sites of child pornograghy when I was 15, hoping on onion links and stuff. And, admittedly, I do go on quite a few gore sites. The Internet is.. And all of this fucked up shit is so readily available for anyone to see, it's ridiculous.

You're not entirely wrong about the people on those gore. Some people still have humanity within them; a lot of people are full of hatred. In my experience, it's been rather mixed. Genuinely. Sometimes you have people calling the dude a dick-riding nigger, another time you have people genuinely expressing empathy. It's just like any other social media platform, really.

The Internet has most things, but I feel like people overestimate what's really on here.
Mostly because things are spread anecdotally, rather than with evidence. It's easy to convince someone there's such a thing as a "red room", but if you're skeptic, you'll soon realise that you're better off believing unicorns exist - you don't have evidence. That's not to say something like a Red Room doesn't exist, but people hyperbolate a lot.

I've been to quite a lot of chans and private forums out of curiosity. I haven't spent a lot of time in places like 8chan, endchan, etcetera - mostly because they're dead - but I did remember stumbling across a forum in the realm of onion links.. It's main focus was like.. Your darkest confessions and shit. The amount of posts pertaining to incest was.. Yikes.

I don't know where I'm going with this. There's far more disturbing websites on the clearnet, though, because there's many more websites as compared to both the deep and dark Web. The more tech savy you are though, the better.

I do wanna say, though, that.. It's just my opinion.. But I think it's disrespectful to say stuff like gore videos or whatever traumatise you. It just rubs me the wrong way. I haven't been traumatised before, but I've seen people who have been - hell, people on this forum are severely traumatised - and that condition is far, far worse than anything you could ever get from online shit. At the end of the day, YOU'RE not experiencing it. Call me an asshole, but I don't how you can equate real life, physical trauma against seeing a fucking video - albeit the video is fucked up. I don't know.
I don't say gore traumatized everyone. Seemingly for some people it is a way to cope.
But it can traumatize people. There are a lot of lawsuits against facebook or other social networks. They have staff who had to watch the most cruel and brutal things to filter them. Some of them don't know the percentage of it developed PTSD. But others said they get numb and just don't care after the 5000th video.
Guess it depends. For me it sounds like playing russian roulette with your brain. Similar to taking psychoactive drugs. But I think in both cases the dosage, your genes etc play big role.
 
VirtualSnow

VirtualSnow

who knows
May 21, 2022
110
Pretty much what @Un- said, I'd just note that I do believe that it's possible to get traumatized or to get hurt by such content, specially when seen on a regular basis, as it might blur your perception on the actual world. Of course it's not comparable to suffering the actual things going on, but depending on the person, it might be actually mentally damaging on a pretty deep level.

In the youtube video they talked also about the dark net. I mean if there are already so many disturbing website on the clearnet...yeah I stay away from that.
It still amazes me that people believe the "spooky terryfing dark net" narrative, at this point it's more of a urban legend than anything, and people are sure riding the wave (see the thousands of videos talking about the dark web by people that haven't ever seen anything off it). Hell, you can find any kind of violent content in the clearnet, in fact, I'd say it's easier to find it in there than in the dark web, that has a WAY lower userbase. There are lots of clearnet gore sites, even some that have no specific rules on content, meaning that you could upload just about everything. Well, you even got Facebook groups sharing that on a daily basis.
 
Un-

Un-

I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
653
I don't say gore traumatized everyone. Seemingly for some people it is a way to cope.
But it can traumatize people. There are a lot of lawsuits against facebook or other social networks. They have staff who had to watch the most cruel and brutal things to filter them. Some of them don't know the percentage of it developed PTSD. But others said they get numb and just don't care after the 5000th video.
Guess it depends. For me it sounds like playing russian roulette with your brain. Similar to taking psychoactive drugs. But I think in both cases the dosage, your genes etc play big role.
I don't know. Maybe you're right, and it can. But it just feels disrespectful to me, is all. Because it's something that's not even happening to you; often times, it's not as visceral as it would be. Like.. There's a huge, huge difference between watching a video about a mass shooting, and actually being present there in reality.. To kind of.. Say that they're comparable.. It just doesn't sit right with me.

I relate with the numbness thing. I've watched so many horrific things that I don't get phased by any of it at all. I don't consider it a superpower or whatever, but I guess it is helpful to.. Not be so easily affected. Obviously, at the cost of empathy or hope for humanity. Depending on who you are as a person, those can be even more benefits or detriment.
Pretty much what @Un- said, I'd just note that I do believe that it's possible to get traumatized or to get hurt by such content, specially when seen on a regular basis, as it might blur your perception on the actual world. Of course it's not comparable to suffering the actual things going on, but depending on the person, it might be actually mentally damaging on a pretty deep level
Thanks! I agree with you that it can affect you mentally, though. I just don't think traumatising is the way to call it. I don't know. I don't want it to come off like I'm being PC or whatever. I just feel like saying something like watching gore is traumatising.. Kind of takes away from people that are actually traumatised and have been through horrific shit. Then again, I guess I really shouldn't have an opinion because I'm not traumatised.

But, yeah, watching a lot of gore can change your worldview. I'm not allowed to be part of the discussion on what the world is actually like, but watching a lot of gruesome shit will definitely destroy your hope for humanity. But it also asks you questions, y'know? Like war videos put the harshness of war in your face - I've seen it, and it's not good at all. You can use it for information. Like for hanging, I know that even if I don't get my sweet spot, I can still die quite quicky - and I also know, for example, how long it takes for decomposition to take place, and how it looks.. In case I want to account for that. You learn of how abuse and abusers look like, so if you ever encounter it in real life, you know what to look out for.

Sorry. Tangent again. Fuck.
 
N

noname223

Angelic
Aug 18, 2020
4,441
I don't know. Maybe you're right, and it can. But it just feels disrespectful to me, is all. Because it's something that's not even happening to you; often times, it's not as visceral as it would be. Like.. There's a huge, huge difference between watching a video about a mass shooting, and actually being present there in reality.. To kind of.. Say that they're comparable.. It just doesn't sit right with me.

I relate with the numbness thing. I've watched so many horrific things that I don't get phased by any of it at all. I don't consider it a superpower or whatever, but I guess it is helpful to.. Not be so easily affected. Obviously, at the cost of empathy or hope for humanity. Depending on who you are as a person, those can be even more benefits or detriment.

Thanks! I agree with you that it can affect you mentally, though. I just don't think traumatising is the way to call it. I don't know. I don't want it to come off like I'm being PC or whatever. I just feel like saying something like watching gore is traumatising.. Kind of takes away from people that are actually traumatised and have been through horrific shit. Then again, I guess I really shouldn't have an opinion because I'm not traumatised.

But, yeah, watching a lot of gore can change your worldview. I'm not allowed to be part of the discussion on what the world is actually like, but watching a lot of gruesome shit will definitely destroy your hope for humanity. But it also asks you questions, y'know? Like war videos put the harshness of war in your face - I've seen it, and it's not good at all. You can use it for information. Like for hanging, I know that even if I don't get my sweet spot, I can still die quite quicky - and I also know, for example, how long it takes for decomposition to take place, and how it looks.. In case I want to account for that. You learn of how abuse and abusers look like, so if you ever encounter it in real life, you know what to look out for.

Sorry. Tangent again. Fuck.
But there are media reports where people said they have (C)PTSD after watching a lot of exlplicit content. Wouldn't it be worse to call these people liars? I think there are even studies on that. That graphic videos can increase the likelihood to get PTSD.

I guess some people are more resilient than others. Some people are simply very vulnerable. I think I could get ill too when I had to watch this kind of content daily for 8 hours. When I was teenager it was similar to punishing me.

 
  • Aww..
  • Like
Reactions: jodes2 and Un-
Un-

Un-

I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
653
But there are media reports where people said they have (C)PTSD after watching a lot of exlplicit content. Wouldn't it be worse to call these people liars? I think there are even studies on that. That graphic videos can increase the likelihood to get PTSD.

I guess some people are more resilient than others. Some people are simply very vulnerable. I think I could get ill too when I had to watch this kind of content daily for 8 hours. When I was teenager it was similar to punishing me.

I guess I just don't understand things anymore.

My point wasn't to say that they're lairs or anything. I'm just saying it rubs me the wrong way, is all. But I mean if this shit is happening, it's happening. I probably just don't understand it.
 
N

noname223

Angelic
Aug 18, 2020
4,441
I guess I just don't understand things anymore.

My point wasn't to say that they're lairs or anything. I'm just saying it rubs me the wrong way, is all. But I mean if this shit is happening, it's happening.
Did not want to say you called them liar. But I think if people really get PTDS from watching that we should believe them. Mental issues are not visible we have to trust people when people describe them. Sometimes we don't really understand why someone is affected badly by something which we would deal with easily.
Sorry not wanting to accuse you. Can be a misunderstanding I don't really know what rubs the wrong way means. Sorry.

Hugs.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: jodes2 and Un-
houseofleaves

houseofleaves

and this with thee remains.
Jan 14, 2022
534
I do wanna say, though, that.. It's just my opinion.. But I think it's disrespectful to say stuff like gore videos or whatever traumatise you. It just rubs me the wrong way. I haven't been traumatised before, but I've seen people who have been - hell, people on this forum are severely traumatised - and that condition is far, far worse than anything you could ever get from online shit. At the end of the day, YOU'RE not experiencing it. Call me an asshole, but I don't how you can equate real life, physical trauma against seeing a fucking video - albeit the video is fucked up. I don't know.
YES. THIS. +.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: jodes2 and Un-
hamvil

hamvil

Wizard
Aug 29, 2022
652
I used to work a lot and when you are in such situation you need something to unload your stress. Some drink, some do drugs, for me it was porn. As for any addiction you develop a numbness to it. You start with light things and bit by bit you move up. I am in this addiction since 10 or more years so you can imagine how far I went. Some does not even qualifies as porn technically. it is mostly related to violence in its various forms for me. Should it be banned? NO idea, hell I do not even know if it is possible technically. I guess at some point I will cross some line and police will come looking for me. I just hope that by that time I managed to leave this pain and move to the next thing.
 
whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,914
AnimalsDarkParadise (only written descriptions and a few hunting photographs) and a few seconds of 'Daisy's Destruction' is as deep as I wanted to go. Peter Scully is hopefully rotting in prison or dead. Oh I also saw someone fucking roadkill (humans, what horrible shit they will not do?), thanks to kiwifarms which I think the OP didn't want to mention directly.

Overall I stayed on the clearnet, on BestGore, a no-hassle solution for the increasingly sparse urges to watch/know.

Of all the things I've seen the alive-face-skinned narco vids (funkytown, ghost rider) and the asian women taking turns to trample on a dying dog puppy affected me the most.

I'd say I got all the "dark side of humanity" maturity that I needed with that and the ocasional glimpse of "scat" and querying Google imagen for "doggy" in the wrong way. There's something very disturbing about life and it has all sorts of ways to manifest.
 
Last edited:
a_dead_mess

a_dead_mess

Member
Aug 8, 2022
83
And the internet is kind of a mirror of the human soul.
I don't see it this way. there have always been rapists, pedophiles, and kidnappers over all generations of human existence. the internet only allowed some of them to be shown publicly. I don't see why someone would watch gore in the first place
 
  • Like
Reactions: jodes2 and Un-
VirtualSnow

VirtualSnow

who knows
May 21, 2022
110
There's something very disturbing about life and it has all sorts of ways to manifest.
Magnificently put. And about BestGore and the clearnet, well, you can find pretty much all the violent content you could imagine in the clearnet, people usually assume it's on the dark web due to it's nature, but there's no need to go that far, in fact, almost all of it it's in there.
On a comment about 8chan, you can't blame all of it's users for it, in general it's just another imageboard.
 

Similar threads