NSFW What was the most traumatizing you ever seen online?

[noname223]

I might have asked such a question already. But new users new experiences. When I was an abused, bullied and suicidal teenager I watched gore. Usually not the most extreme content out there. The most extreme I ever watched was a beheading probably from the Mexican mafia. I felt so fucking sorry for that woman, skipped through the video, I never could listen to the screams, I felt nauseous, interestingly the audio seemed to be worse than the images. I had nightmares about this video years afterwards but not that often. After that video I decreased the gore content I watched. Since some years I quit it completely.

It started with brutal films on TV. And shortly afterwards I watched suicides on Youtube. Wanted to see the censored videos on the media in an uncensored way. It was the time ISIS spreaded their propaganda. I barely watched those video though. They were too extreme for me.

I would highly recommend to anyone not to watch that stuff. It can be poison for your mental health, fuel your demise, traumatize you and you can get PTSD from it. I feel better since I have found other ways to cope. And I successfully quit before getting traumatized.

I read about the most extreme, horrific, nightmarish and traumatizing videos there are out there. And it seems like I was pretty much on the surface. Many here on this forum watch gore and some describe really insanely brutal content. Some become numb by consuming such content.

So what was the most traumatizing you ever watched/seen? If you are willing to share it. It probably depends on the way how you cope with the experience.

 

[theboy]

DD (you know)

 

[sserafim]

I don't watch gore, but someone showed me a bloody gore photo from Reddit, and I had like no reaction (because I'm not scared of blood). I just don't see the appeal of gore

DD (you know)

I don't know

 

[kilowatt]

I am in no way disturbed by graphic media but there is one exception. I watched this stream of a young man attempting to CTB by choking himself with zip ties. It was not the point or visuals of the video that terrified me, but his sounds. The pure horror in his creaky voice I could hear while he was laying down, using his last breaths before passing out to sob. It haunts me often.
On second place comes any kind of video that involved SA and rape.

 

[dragonofenvy]

The most extreme I ever watched was a beheading probably from the Mexican mafia

I got something like this when I was 11 from a 12-year-old girl I knew from... sigh Minecraft. Not a good thing to be exposed to for either of us. I don't know why I didn't just close out of it but I thought it was fake and I had morbid curiosity. I tell myself that it was fake and hope it was. It doesn't bother me anymore though thankfully and I haven't seen anything like that since.

I don't know

I have only heard of the name of this and what it's about and it's something I never ever want to know more about. It's a torture video apparently. A really bad one. That's all you need to know. It's another one of those things that I just really really hope isn't real even though I know it is.

 

[Agon321]

It's hard for me to say.
I often wandered around the Internet, so I found specific content.
I don't remember anything that traumatized me very much.
However, for example, I felt discomfort when a recording showed one group of people crucifying another.
The hammering of nails into limbs was unpleasant for me to watch.

I have a slightly different opinion than yours. I believe that people should be aware of the brutality of our species. Of course, I'm not saying that you should watch this type of content compulsively, but that you should be aware of it. Living in the illusion of security is, in my opinion, dangerous.

 

[LittleCupcake]

My childhood desensitised me to pretty much anything. Maybe those popups people put on youtube videos in 2004, thats about the only thing

 

[HereTomorrow]

When I was like 11 and using Google+ I saw a repost of a girl who carved her arm saying something along the lines of "I <3 JUSTIN BIEBER" in all its gore.

Recently saw a terrorist beheading. I thought I wouldn't be terrified but just seeing the blood pour out and the head fall...yeah. I'm kinda squeamish.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Probably "screamers" as they used to be called. I got sent way too many prank videos filled with jump scares and no one was even recording my reaction. Gore is pretty bad too but at least it doesn't really stick with me the same way a jump scare does. I had to buy YouTube premium because I was sick of getting horror movie ads that also featured gratuitous jump scares.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

All social media

 

[KafkaF]

A man getting his head cut off with a chainsaw.

I was doing research for something I was writing and I wanted what I was writing to feel realistic. And my search brought me to a gore website where I saw that.

I will never forget what it looked like.

Far from desensitising me, it made me utterly beffudled at how any human being can do this to another.

Oddly enough, seeing this sort of stuff only made me more empathetic and made me realize the vulnerability of the human body and how every life is precious. Because you only get the one.

I never want anything like that to happen to anyone ever again. And if I had the power, it wouldn't.

I've done research into how people can do this. So I guess I have some understanding of it intellectually. But I don't think I will ever understand.

For the record, I do still think every life is precious. But I also think that includes quality of life. Despite every life being precious you can still get into a situation where the bad outweighs the good. But what is being sacrificed, your one life, should never be forgotten. It sucks that any of us have to contemplate ending it in the first place. It shouldn't be like this. And maybe it wouldn't be if more people realized other people's lives were precious.

 

[trashprincess]

All the pornography I looked at when I was a child. Got introduced to it at 10 years old, was immediately hooked, and I thinks it kinda messed me up...

While there were other things I did, that was the part of my youth I remembered. That's what I had to look forward to. That was where the excitement of my life came from. That's what my nostalgia is for.

At this point I feel like sex is the only way I will ever have value. And every moment I'm not a sexual object, I should be ashamed of myself. I don't even know if I even like sex, I just know people wanting me makes my brain light up in ways I want to keep experiencing. And when I try to think about doing anything else, I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Porn wasn't the only thing that ended up making me feel this way, but it's clearly done a number on me...

 

[kwittywhiskerzz!..]

The worst thing I've ever seen. Was children gore, whenever I see kids die or even hear about a murder case involving a child I cry a lot. My heart yearns for the parents and the kid who didn't get to live to adulthood.

 

[Malaria]

The Kero the Wolf video leaks... needless to say, I will never be the same person after seeing those videos. I am genuinely traumatized. I really really hate people...

 

[RIPPrincess]

I saw a video of a man who was cut open by, I think, the cartel. He was still alive and all his organs were still in place. They were moving and his heart was pumping so crazy. I'll never get that image out my head.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

This may blast a few people back in time:

Just as ISDN internet was getting up and running KaZaa was extremely popular (p2p file sharing program). You'd have seeders and leeches so everyone could share the files. The majority of stuff was what you would download (say a song or a clip) however on rare occasions you would download a .mp4 file and the title wasn't exactly accurate.

I ended up watching a terrorist beheading of an American journalist with a knife. The image is graphic but the sounds are way worse - the gargling and the slicing back and forth until it was off. The still image was actual shown on most UK tv channels (this was back when 9/11 was in full swing) so I kind of knew what it was but did the whole I'll pause it when thing start to change. Didn't pause it. It's pretty "tame" now compared to stuff that's posted up.

The thing that messes with you the most is the sounds. That can't be erased. Horror movies and such have desensitised us to a point to the image can still be bad but it's the sounds that stay with you.

 

[anotherlastchance]

The worst vid I've seen was a man being skinned alive after they cut of his face they cut through his rib cage with the same knife and cut its heart out I believe the victim what's still a little alive so he could see his own heart beating he didn't scream at all though the might have given him some heroine before the torture the guy that skinned him was realy knowing what he was doing he did it fast and with clean cuts
Owh yeah at some point they where standing on his chest and the man asked them to not do that that's the point where they gave him a Colombian neck tie wright before they took his heart out

 

[cgrtt.brns]

anything to do with animal abuse. makes me sick. i hate humans so much.
i sometimes watch gore just bc its there, i dont enjoy it but its just smthn to watch, maybe its a form of selfharm idk. i can never watch with the sound on tho, the videos never bother me but the sound often does. the one i was most hesitant to watch was probably one where a guy got his arm caught in some spinning machine and then got sucked into it and completely torn apart. i remember like covering my face waiting for it to happen but it happened rly quickly so it wasnt so bad, i imagine he lost consciousness pretty quickly. one that affected me quite a bit afterwards was one where a guy was stabbing himself, he had quite a small knife and just pushed it in instead of like stabbing it in if that makes sense. i watched that one with the sound on and the noises he made were quite disturbing. also shtwt is fucked.

 

[whiteclaudia]

in one of the books i'm reading about trauma, it posits that some people might trigger themselves on purpose because strong emotions can cause dissociation. essentially, we seek out nasty shit in order to overload our brains into shutting up.

i've got a good tolerance when it comes to horror and gore, but not when it comes to the faces of actual corpses - that's my limit. i'd say the most traumatizing thing has nothing to do with that, though. i went on omegle a lot as a lonely, neglected kid and ended up being sexually exploited by strangers on a regular basis. the internet is dark for reasons that have nothing to do with intentionally dark things.

 

[Shadowpriest]

Dagestan massacre;
Mexican cartel caught police officer and his minor son, they quickly killed the officer and they slowly skinned the chest of a minor boy (around 15 yo), opened a rib cage and took his heart out. Boy took it as a hero tho;
Animal abuse in general, especially chicks crushing kittens, puppies, bunnies etc. with their feet or butt. Disgusting

 

[an_alias]

DD (you know)

I'm sorry
I can barely imagine the emotional impact that would've had on you - I've seen similar (much against my will and mental stability) but only very briefly. even then it still severely scarred me. i hope that the same hasn't happened for you, and if it has, then i sincerely wish that those memories won't impact you anymore

 

[3/4Dead]

His name escapes me but the video of the guy shooting himself on a discord call - was the first gore video I saw and I watched with the sound off (glad I checked the comments and people told me to keep it that way) but it stuck with me for actual months.

It's practically a meme on WPD at this point because the video is so popular, and I went on there for something else and remember it catching me off gaurd when I saw it again.