wagner2029
Experienced
- Jun 25, 2023
- 213
the path taken
At the beginning, an idea appears from within the mind to escape that suffering, that idea starts to appear more frequently and starts to seem plausible, then research begins, some idiotic ideas appear about how CTB, more research, more is learned about the subject , the more you learn about the methods, one method is chosen and the search for resources begins, during the search for resources conflicting thoughts appear about yourself, about what you intend to do:
Why am I doing this?
What will they think of me?
What is wrong with me?
Other people can live even in worse situations, why can't I?
Other people would like to have what I'm going to throw away, they would give anything to have.
The search for resources occupies the mind, once the decision is made there comes a certain relief, a tranquility, the date or occasion has been defined, now just wait, the hours seem to never pass, when the day arrives all the afflictions, fears and anguish appear. all at once, a terrible fear that takes over the entire body, a paralysis, but there's no problem postponing it.
the next day regret, a doubt: "what am I still doing here? Why didn't I succeed?"
concerns arise about trivial things like the dirty clothes in the basket, leaving things unfinished, which clothes to wear.
Over time, these concerns disappear, the closer you get to the CTB, the more these concerns disappear:
the inconvenience that CBT will cause;
what will they think?;
What will they feel?;
what will happen next?;
Some changes are happening in the mind, some ideas begin to change, things that seemed important lose their importance, the void arrives little by little until the moment when the void will embrace you gently and peacefully, existence will be abandoned.
At the beginning, an idea appears from within the mind to escape that suffering, that idea starts to appear more frequently and starts to seem plausible, then research begins, some idiotic ideas appear about how CTB, more research, more is learned about the subject , the more you learn about the methods, one method is chosen and the search for resources begins, during the search for resources conflicting thoughts appear about yourself, about what you intend to do:
Why am I doing this?
What will they think of me?
What is wrong with me?
Other people can live even in worse situations, why can't I?
Other people would like to have what I'm going to throw away, they would give anything to have.
The search for resources occupies the mind, once the decision is made there comes a certain relief, a tranquility, the date or occasion has been defined, now just wait, the hours seem to never pass, when the day arrives all the afflictions, fears and anguish appear. all at once, a terrible fear that takes over the entire body, a paralysis, but there's no problem postponing it.
the next day regret, a doubt: "what am I still doing here? Why didn't I succeed?"
concerns arise about trivial things like the dirty clothes in the basket, leaving things unfinished, which clothes to wear.
Over time, these concerns disappear, the closer you get to the CTB, the more these concerns disappear:
the inconvenience that CBT will cause;
what will they think?;
What will they feel?;
what will happen next?;
Some changes are happening in the mind, some ideas begin to change, things that seemed important lose their importance, the void arrives little by little until the moment when the void will embrace you gently and peacefully, existence will be abandoned.
