DonLockwood
Actor
- Jan 22, 2026
- 79
Another vent post! Yippie!
My whole struggle is getting an entry level job in my field and being self reliant. I got somewhat close! But it all comes crashing down, as it normally does for me.
So I actually got an entry level job in my field. I wrote it somewhere on this site a few months ago that a company that interviewed me got back to me and thought that I was a different person. Turned out that it was a fault on their end and they got the names mixed up. They were meant to hire me in the first place. I was so fucking happy. I was dreading the idea of working retail at some shitty shopping centre, but this finally bore fruit!
The whole gig is that someone who works for this company is sent out and is there to help them with their issues. (I'm probably being really vague but I'm just a paranoid person). I do these training shifts where I am paired with someone else for a few weeks and I really end up enjoying it. Eventually I'm told to take over this guy whilst he is on holiday, sort of to see how I am on my own. I feel I did really well. I was really firing on all cylinders with this. 3 weeks pass when I'm on my own, and I eventually get no shifts.
"Huh that's weird, they're probably putting me as a person who comes in when someone is sick or on leave. That's fine by me."
Then comes to this week. I get two shifts, both with someone still. I'm kind of getting annoyed how I'm still being paired with someone, but whatever, a shift is a shift. Yesterday was just a regular day. But today was where it all came crashing down.
I arrive to the place where I'm supposed to be on time and I'm just stuck there waiting for an hour for him to arrive. Absolute disrespect from him IMO. Day progresses like normal until midday where he says;
"Here come with me"
"Oh okay"
Walks me to the front door
"Yeah, we're going to terminate your contract"
"Huh?? What for?"
"It's been taking too long for you to learn the ropes."
"What are you talking about? I took over from that one guy for 3 weeks with no issue!"
"Well, there was one issue that wasn't resolved and we had to get another guy to solve it. And you were repeating asking questions about things you should know by now."
I had no clue what that guy was on about mind you
"Look, this is a Traineeship! I'm going to be making mistakes in one way or another! It's the whole part of learning! I-"
I basically stopped myself, what good would barking back do?
"Hope everything goes well with your future." he says.
Dumb cunt doesn't know he just sealed it.
I shake his hand and I leave. Walk to my car, message my dad that I don't work with that company anymore.
Driving home was scary. Never had my body feel such a mixture of sadness, anger, rage, depression. I genuinely wanted to swerve into the 18 wheelers that drive past me in the opposite lane. I was so done. 40 min drive home and I was constantly on edge. Eventually I got home and I was all alone. I was so fed up with life. You shock a dog so many times that he'll eventually never want to leave the kennel.
I was so pissed off at me, life, the person, the company, I just decided to kick the door to my bedroom. Shattered the whole frame. Threw everything I had at the wall. Got back into my car and just drove away. I just decided to drive to a lookout in a smaller area near mine. Take in the view. I see there's a small trail and just decide to follow it. "What have I got to lose?". Turned out its a poorly marked hiking trail that went on for about 45 mins. But there were signs that said there was a lookout at the end, so maybe ill just go to that and clear my head. I get there after all that walking and its a carpark. FUck. If that's not representative of everything in my life right now IDK what is!
Sad and tired, I drive home. Parents are there, "Don't worry you'll find another!". After about 2 years of searching and getting chewed up and spat out that's the best you got? Flat out told them I give up and not to bother.
So rant/vent over. I'm back at spot where I don't want to be. And I don't feel like continuing anymore.
My whole struggle is getting an entry level job in my field and being self reliant. I got somewhat close! But it all comes crashing down, as it normally does for me.
So I actually got an entry level job in my field. I wrote it somewhere on this site a few months ago that a company that interviewed me got back to me and thought that I was a different person. Turned out that it was a fault on their end and they got the names mixed up. They were meant to hire me in the first place. I was so fucking happy. I was dreading the idea of working retail at some shitty shopping centre, but this finally bore fruit!
The whole gig is that someone who works for this company is sent out and is there to help them with their issues. (I'm probably being really vague but I'm just a paranoid person). I do these training shifts where I am paired with someone else for a few weeks and I really end up enjoying it. Eventually I'm told to take over this guy whilst he is on holiday, sort of to see how I am on my own. I feel I did really well. I was really firing on all cylinders with this. 3 weeks pass when I'm on my own, and I eventually get no shifts.
"Huh that's weird, they're probably putting me as a person who comes in when someone is sick or on leave. That's fine by me."
Then comes to this week. I get two shifts, both with someone still. I'm kind of getting annoyed how I'm still being paired with someone, but whatever, a shift is a shift. Yesterday was just a regular day. But today was where it all came crashing down.
I arrive to the place where I'm supposed to be on time and I'm just stuck there waiting for an hour for him to arrive. Absolute disrespect from him IMO. Day progresses like normal until midday where he says;
"Here come with me"
"Oh okay"
Walks me to the front door
"Yeah, we're going to terminate your contract"
"Huh?? What for?"
"It's been taking too long for you to learn the ropes."
"What are you talking about? I took over from that one guy for 3 weeks with no issue!"
"Well, there was one issue that wasn't resolved and we had to get another guy to solve it. And you were repeating asking questions about things you should know by now."
I had no clue what that guy was on about mind you
"Look, this is a Traineeship! I'm going to be making mistakes in one way or another! It's the whole part of learning! I-"
I basically stopped myself, what good would barking back do?
"Hope everything goes well with your future." he says.
Dumb cunt doesn't know he just sealed it.
I shake his hand and I leave. Walk to my car, message my dad that I don't work with that company anymore.
Driving home was scary. Never had my body feel such a mixture of sadness, anger, rage, depression. I genuinely wanted to swerve into the 18 wheelers that drive past me in the opposite lane. I was so done. 40 min drive home and I was constantly on edge. Eventually I got home and I was all alone. I was so fed up with life. You shock a dog so many times that he'll eventually never want to leave the kennel.
I was so pissed off at me, life, the person, the company, I just decided to kick the door to my bedroom. Shattered the whole frame. Threw everything I had at the wall. Got back into my car and just drove away. I just decided to drive to a lookout in a smaller area near mine. Take in the view. I see there's a small trail and just decide to follow it. "What have I got to lose?". Turned out its a poorly marked hiking trail that went on for about 45 mins. But there were signs that said there was a lookout at the end, so maybe ill just go to that and clear my head. I get there after all that walking and its a carpark. FUck. If that's not representative of everything in my life right now IDK what is!
Sad and tired, I drive home. Parents are there, "Don't worry you'll find another!". After about 2 years of searching and getting chewed up and spat out that's the best you got? Flat out told them I give up and not to bother.
So rant/vent over. I'm back at spot where I don't want to be. And I don't feel like continuing anymore.
