Discussion the thought of cyanosis from SN terrifies me

[quietly_gone]

I know it doesn't hurt but I have an irrational fear of pain, similar to harm OCD, and just seeing pictures of it (which I now avoid, obviously) makes me go into full panic mode, with intrusive and ruminating thoughts.

This is almost making me give up on SN. I know it's only my brain playing tricks on me but I get so scared thinking about it I feel insane.

Has anyone dealt with something similar?

 

[silence of death]

as a schizophrenic I tend to have those kind of delusion that doesnt really make sense, I usualy go from one to another, but it's all schizo talk, i don't realy think it's relevant

 

[LaVieEnRose]

No one wants that side effect but it's just the way SN works. It's not the prettiest sight but death usually isn't.

 

[quietly_gone]

as a schizophrenic I tend to have those kind of delusion that doesnt really make sense, I usualy go from one to another, but it's all schizo talk, i don't realy think it's relevant

I have read extensively on schizophrenia and I had an episode that lasted for a month where I was literally bed ridden because of paranoid thoughts about people trying to harm me, but I'm not getting a proper diagnosis any time soon since I can't afford healthcare... But we might be on the same boat lol

 

[Kittzuni]

Has anyone dealt with something similar?

No, my desire to ctb is greater than my fear of pain.

That's not why I decided to reply though. I just wanted to make sure that you know SN is not entirely painless. Do further research if you thought that was the case.

 

[quietly_gone]

No, my desire to ctb is greater than my fear of pain.

That's not why I decided to reply though. I just wanted to make sure that you know SN is not entirely painless. Do further research of you thought that was the case.

I've heard of fainting, shortness of breath, everything related to lack of oxygen that might lead to pain.

Is there something else I should be aware of? Do you recommend any reads?

 

[silence of death]

I have read extensively on schizophrenia and I had an episode that lasted for a month where I was literally bed ridden because of paranoid thoughts about people trying to harm me, but I'm not getting a proper diagnosis any time soon since I can't afford healthcare... But we might be on the same boat lol

yes, that's a very schizo thing to do lol, in my country mental healthcare is very cheap, it's a shame you don't have that luxury
could also be bipolar, and other things, so I wouldn't say that you are schizo just from that experience, you realy need a professional for a proper diagnosis

 

[Kittzuni]

I've heard of fainting, shortness of breath, everything related to lack of oxygen that might lead to pain.

Is there something else I should be aware of? Do you recommend any reads?

I'd say the entirety of this very recent thread (and more importantly everything that's linked in there) is okay. Not the best but worth a read in your case I assume.

How exactly does it feel to pass out from sn?

I did some research on how sn feels but no one mentions how exactly the passing out feels. Are you just away from one second to the other or does it feel like sleeping?

sanctioned-suicide.net

Other than that I have no specific ones as I'm not gonna look for them, just use the search function.

 

[Mirrory Me]

It must be a tough experience to be consciously present in those last moments, especially when you don't know what will happen next.