FireFox
Enlightened
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,744
On the news we constantly hear the feel good stories about people who saved others from killing themselves in public places or grieving families who have lost loved ones to suicide and have set up charities dedicated to saving other people from suicide. Before I start its wonderful geniuenely caring people do exist to help others in times of distress but at the same time this savour mentality is also dangerous. Its needs to be spoken up more
The savior complex is so dangerous because its creates a situation of guilt where the suicidal person is expected to be grateful for being "saved". This makes the suicidal person feel bad for being suicidal in the first place and can harm their recovery if they are consumed with the guilt, survivors guilt is real. The "Savior" who is continuously active in the saving also its self destructive for them because they are trying are committing themselves to a difficult task which will leave them pain if the results are not want they desire.
I later on found out the admin who builled me out of an online depression support community I used to belong too had an unhealthy saviour complex mentality which the people around her enabled and it ended up leaving a trail of a pain and destruction to ALL parties involved. I learned this about how the admin treated another user on her site by finding a thread from a user.
The admin befriended a severely mentally ill alcoholic woman let's call her E who is a still a member of that forum. E is a troubled woman who is estranged from her kids ( the circumstances are not clear),has a history of losing friendships and relationships with her family due to her self destructive behaviour, mental illness and alcoholism. E has a history of self harm and failed suicide attempts. The admin knowing all this built a personal saviour type friendship with her. The admin met E in real life and even invited E to her house to hang out with her at times. The admin was always advising her on things that troubled E and her mental health issues. E in her post talked fondly of how the admin "changed" her life and valued the admins wisdom. E became co dependent on the admin.
E due to her troubled self destructive personality she struggled to have healthy relationships with people as a result she ended up in a series of online arguments and explosive fallouts with people on that community. When E tried to kill herself at home the admin phoned UK emergency services and an ambulance came to her house. E was furious at the admins decision and lashed out which led to them failing out completely.
E took time off from the forum and when she came back she found the admin deleted ALL her posts and banned her from the forum. She banned her to protect the community and felt Es presence negatively impacted the online community and everyone in it. She made a new account when she discovered that the admin died and felt terrible over their falling out and all the things she done.
Severely mentally ill people need professional help and the admin took an enormous the risk in inviting a stranger in to her life and trying to save her always. Nobody in that community ever called the admin for her saviour mentally complex even when the signs were there.
The admins husband who helps run the site criticised E for never being grateful for the help and support the wife gave her when the wife was alive. The husband criticised her for upsetting everyone on the forum and how everyone is right to be mad at her. The husband even said he wasn't sure if she even deserved to go to the admins funeral as E did turn up to admins funeral as they knew each other.
The saviour mentality was harmful for all the parties involved because.
Admin- The admin got hurt for trying to save this woman over and over again even dragging her own family into her mission to save this woman.
E- feels so guilty that she was angry at the admin for saving her because tne argument she had with the admin was last time she spoke to her before admin died suddenly. E is stil a member of that community and the members hate her for all the online arguments they had with her. She still posts in the community but majority ignore her even after expressing remorse . For 10 years she has been a member of that community. She will get another ban eventually.
Husband- I was so disgusted and shocked reading the husbands long reply because he allowed his wife to bring into their lives a severely troubled woman who needed professional help and support. As a father it is his duty to ensure his wife and kids are safe and he failed to do that and enabled his wife saviour mentality which led to destructive results.
Community- Hate her for all the pain she caused in the online arguments which got vicious
The savior complex is so dangerous because its creates a situation of guilt where the suicidal person is expected to be grateful for being "saved". This makes the suicidal person feel bad for being suicidal in the first place and can harm their recovery if they are consumed with the guilt, survivors guilt is real. The "Savior" who is continuously active in the saving also its self destructive for them because they are trying are committing themselves to a difficult task which will leave them pain if the results are not want they desire.
I later on found out the admin who builled me out of an online depression support community I used to belong too had an unhealthy saviour complex mentality which the people around her enabled and it ended up leaving a trail of a pain and destruction to ALL parties involved. I learned this about how the admin treated another user on her site by finding a thread from a user.
The admin befriended a severely mentally ill alcoholic woman let's call her E who is a still a member of that forum. E is a troubled woman who is estranged from her kids ( the circumstances are not clear),has a history of losing friendships and relationships with her family due to her self destructive behaviour, mental illness and alcoholism. E has a history of self harm and failed suicide attempts. The admin knowing all this built a personal saviour type friendship with her. The admin met E in real life and even invited E to her house to hang out with her at times. The admin was always advising her on things that troubled E and her mental health issues. E in her post talked fondly of how the admin "changed" her life and valued the admins wisdom. E became co dependent on the admin.
E due to her troubled self destructive personality she struggled to have healthy relationships with people as a result she ended up in a series of online arguments and explosive fallouts with people on that community. When E tried to kill herself at home the admin phoned UK emergency services and an ambulance came to her house. E was furious at the admins decision and lashed out which led to them failing out completely.
E took time off from the forum and when she came back she found the admin deleted ALL her posts and banned her from the forum. She banned her to protect the community and felt Es presence negatively impacted the online community and everyone in it. She made a new account when she discovered that the admin died and felt terrible over their falling out and all the things she done.
Severely mentally ill people need professional help and the admin took an enormous the risk in inviting a stranger in to her life and trying to save her always. Nobody in that community ever called the admin for her saviour mentally complex even when the signs were there.
The admins husband who helps run the site criticised E for never being grateful for the help and support the wife gave her when the wife was alive. The husband criticised her for upsetting everyone on the forum and how everyone is right to be mad at her. The husband even said he wasn't sure if she even deserved to go to the admins funeral as E did turn up to admins funeral as they knew each other.
The saviour mentality was harmful for all the parties involved because.
Admin- The admin got hurt for trying to save this woman over and over again even dragging her own family into her mission to save this woman.
E- feels so guilty that she was angry at the admin for saving her because tne argument she had with the admin was last time she spoke to her before admin died suddenly. E is stil a member of that community and the members hate her for all the online arguments they had with her. She still posts in the community but majority ignore her even after expressing remorse . For 10 years she has been a member of that community. She will get another ban eventually.
Husband- I was so disgusted and shocked reading the husbands long reply because he allowed his wife to bring into their lives a severely troubled woman who needed professional help and support. As a father it is his duty to ensure his wife and kids are safe and he failed to do that and enabled his wife saviour mentality which led to destructive results.
Community- Hate her for all the pain she caused in the online arguments which got vicious
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