goodbye-to-a-world
take me with you when you go
- Dec 18, 2025
- 33
I just got hit with a wave of depression. I was actually doing kinda okay today and now I'm here crying my eyes out for no reason. I'm so tired of this. What good is progress if my brain will just laugh in my face anyway? Not that I've made progress, but this kinda shit just discourages me even more. I'm tired of hanging onto people's birthdays as the only reason to not end it because I wouldn't want them to be sad so close to their birthday. My best friend of almost 20 years, the overwhelming majority of my life, her birthday is 23 days away and I just laid here crying about how I can't kill myself now because I don't want to devastate her so close to that. Then my mom's and uncle's are in July and I can't do that to them either, especially not my mom. The longer this goes on, just living because others would want me to, and the sadder I get, the less I'm starting to care. The more of these days that pass with no end in sight the stronger the urge gets. I just don't know how much I have left to give, how much more I can take. I'm just so tired of everything.
