Been listening a lot to the song "Anywhere" from Evanescence. And it always reminds me of one particular person who also liked it.
I've had 4 girlfriends in my life but I think only one of them truly loved me.
My previous girlfriend I thought truly loved me for a long time. But about two months ago she, almost out of nowhere, dropped me like a stone and doesn't seem to have cared even one bit. It's a Jeckyll and Hyde feeling. It's like in the middle of September she loved me more than anything, but by the middle of October it's like I was nothing to her anymore. Less than trash. So I can only guess I was fooled.
My third girlfriend and me were together for six years. My longest relationship. I'm sure she cared in her own way. But she was a selfish and cold person and often treated me like crap, especially when she got angry because I did something she didn't like. I don't think she truly knew what love was, tbh.
My second girlfriend I was only with pretty briefly. We weren't together for long enough to truly fall in love with each other, I think.
My first girlfriend... she's the one person in the entire world I think truly loved me. And loved me as much as I loved her.
Without going into detail to protect her privacy, she also struggled a lot with mental health. And in a lot of ways that were similar to me. It's interesting. In some way I feel like she's the only person in the world who ever fully understood me. We connected on a level where we just "got" each other, you know? She saw the worst of me and still wanted to be with me. She broke up with me due to a... misunderstanding involving some mental health stuff that I won't get into to protect her privacy. But it turns out that even over a year later she still loved me and missed me. And I still loved her and missed her. I only found this out many years too late but apparently we both wished we were back together for at least a couple of years after things ended.
She truly saw me, you know. And despite my many, many flaws she still loved me just like I loved her. We would've done almost anything for each other. We understood each other's mental health problems like no one else. We connected on a different level from how I've ever connected with anyone else. And she still loved me for a very long time after it was over, just as I loved her.
I currently love my fourth girlfriend more... If I could pick anyone to be with right now, it would be her. But that being said, we only broke up less than two months ago. But my first girlfriend and I broke up over a decade ago. And yet... I still think about her. And I still care about her. And I still miss her sometimes.
I will truly never forget her for as long as I live.
So in her honour, the lyrics to "Anywhere":
"Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long, I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back, you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name"
I've had 4 girlfriends in my life but I think only one of them truly loved me.
My previous girlfriend I thought truly loved me for a long time. But about two months ago she, almost out of nowhere, dropped me like a stone and doesn't seem to have cared even one bit. It's a Jeckyll and Hyde feeling. It's like in the middle of September she loved me more than anything, but by the middle of October it's like I was nothing to her anymore. Less than trash. So I can only guess I was fooled.
My third girlfriend and me were together for six years. My longest relationship. I'm sure she cared in her own way. But she was a selfish and cold person and often treated me like crap, especially when she got angry because I did something she didn't like. I don't think she truly knew what love was, tbh.
My second girlfriend I was only with pretty briefly. We weren't together for long enough to truly fall in love with each other, I think.
My first girlfriend... she's the one person in the entire world I think truly loved me. And loved me as much as I loved her.
Without going into detail to protect her privacy, she also struggled a lot with mental health. And in a lot of ways that were similar to me. It's interesting. In some way I feel like she's the only person in the world who ever fully understood me. We connected on a level where we just "got" each other, you know? She saw the worst of me and still wanted to be with me. She broke up with me due to a... misunderstanding involving some mental health stuff that I won't get into to protect her privacy. But it turns out that even over a year later she still loved me and missed me. And I still loved her and missed her. I only found this out many years too late but apparently we both wished we were back together for at least a couple of years after things ended.
She truly saw me, you know. And despite my many, many flaws she still loved me just like I loved her. We would've done almost anything for each other. We understood each other's mental health problems like no one else. We connected on a different level from how I've ever connected with anyone else. And she still loved me for a very long time after it was over, just as I loved her.
I currently love my fourth girlfriend more... If I could pick anyone to be with right now, it would be her. But that being said, we only broke up less than two months ago. But my first girlfriend and I broke up over a decade ago. And yet... I still think about her. And I still care about her. And I still miss her sometimes.
I will truly never forget her for as long as I live.
So in her honour, the lyrics to "Anywhere":
"Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long, I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back, you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name"
