I emailed J (my now passed away ex). I emailed him and poured out all the thoghts of my heart. I still can't believe this. I should have gone back to him, I should have been there. Part of me has lost it thinking he would answer....I literally checked the email today.
"Pain, regret, remorse, despair...these will be my companions as long as my heart beats. I am so sorry... I miss you everyday" J wrote that to me...like I have just now found out he wrote a lot to me before he passed....and now I'm saying those exact same words for myself. I really got to pull it together and make this year my last.