Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
Yup! Depends on the day, since Stan was my first at 51. Sometimes I wonder if I never met him. I only wondered what love was. Didn't fully understand. You can live with what you don't know... now I lost him. Am I happy that I now not what love was? Yes. Am I happy that I now know what heartbreak is? Yes. So I can not have a better understanding of what other people are going through. Do I wish this pain wasn't here and I never met Stan so I wouldn't know what it was? Yes.
This has been argued in Flowers for Algernon.
Brick In The Wall
2M Or Not 2B.
- Oct 30, 2019
- 25,158
Also buying one if the supermarket mini rose bushes for Valentine Day. I like getting flowers fir V Day even if I am buying them for myself.
BlueWidow
Visionary
- Oct 6, 2019
- 2,179
It's a difficult choice. Having experienced both I wouldn't know which one to choose.
I guess most people would say it's better to have love than not, even if you've lost it.
Of course the benefit of never having love is that you don't know what you're missing because you never had it to begin with.
Once you have it and then you lose it, it just tears you apart.
On the other hand, longing for it and never having it is just as bad in it's own way.
Basically, I guess it all just sucks!
Love is pain. Having no love and longing for it is pain. Having love and losing it is pain.
Which type of pain is worse? I don't know. I think they're equally horrible each in their own way.
We'd all be better off if we were emotionless robots that didn't need to be loved.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
The best! I used to buy flowers for me. The cats ate them. Pics!!!
It was about a man who was of lower iq who was given a pill and became a genius. Pill stopped working and he went back to his normal self, but remembered what it was like to be a genius. (Abridged version.)
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
It's a difficult choice. Having experienced both I wouldn't know which one to choose.
I guess most people would say it's better to have love than not, even if you've lost it.
Of course the benefit of never having love is that you don't know what you're missing because you never had it to begin with.
Once you have it and then you lose it, it just tears you apart.
On the other hand, longing for it and never having it is just as bad in it's own way.
Basically, I guess it all just sucks!
Love is pain. Having no love and longing for it is pain. Having love and losing it is pain.
Which type of pain is worse? I don't know. I think they're equally horrible each in their own way.
We'd all be better off if we were emotionless robots that didn't need to be loved.
I'm thinking we should just add "emotions suck, they rip us apart at the seams and make us exposed."
There was a Star Trek voyager episode where they had the seven of nine (a liberated borg.... so basically emotionless) character experience loss tell a person who refused treatment so they died and she just said basicall "stop, please, you are hurting me" which kind of sums up things I think.... emotions cause physical pain.
I think it really depends. Loss and grief can teach us things, the problem is, we may not want to learn those things. Ignorance (or rather, innocence) can be bliss, but do we want to be ignorant, aren't we always trying to learn? Grief I have experienced has made me into a different person, in some ways better, in some ways worse, but defiantly different. Its a cursed gift that both takes and gives at the same time. It seems like the more you learn, the less you can do with what you learn. Maybe wisdom is understanding how to glean happiness from that. I've always struggled with this dichotomy.It's a difficult choice. Having experienced both I wouldn't know which one to choose.
I guess most people would say it's better to have love than not, even if you've lost it.
Of course the benefit of never having love is that you don't know what you're missing because you never had it to begin with.
Once you have it and then you lose it, it just tears you apart.
On the other hand, longing for it and never having it is just as bad in it's own way.
Basically, I guess it all just sucks!
Love is pain. Having no love and longing for it is pain. Having love and losing it is pain.
Which type of pain is worse? I don't know. I think they're equally horrible each in their own way.
We'd all be better off if we were emotionless robots that didn't need to be loved.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
9:39 am
Took meds
Showered and brushed my teeth
Got dressed in real clothes
Two projects that had to be done are done. Finishing the third.
Still need to wash cat dishes and clean box.
Increased Depression and SI. Can a meteor hit me? In honor of @Squiddy
Took meds
Showered and brushed my teeth
Got dressed in real clothes
Two projects that had to be done are done. Finishing the third.
Still need to wash cat dishes and clean box.
Increased Depression and SI. Can a meteor hit me? In honor of @Squiddy
CyanideSoup
Memento mori
- Oct 1, 2019
- 463
I got advice from an independent safeguarding officer about social services and my worries.They said
"You bought something to try and kill yourself a while ago. You are feeling suicidal. You are suffering with psychosis and the drugs aren't managing this yet. You are having daily hallucinations and thoughts to end your life. Your child needs to be removed at least temporarily. She is at immediate risk of harm. I'm surprised this hadn't happened yet. That's the priority. The next priority is your mental health, and getting that in a better place."
So yeah this isn't looking good. I don't know if I can cope with this.
"You bought something to try and kill yourself a while ago. You are feeling suicidal. You are suffering with psychosis and the drugs aren't managing this yet. You are having daily hallucinations and thoughts to end your life. Your child needs to be removed at least temporarily. She is at immediate risk of harm. I'm surprised this hadn't happened yet. That's the priority. The next priority is your mental health, and getting that in a better place."
So yeah this isn't looking good. I don't know if I can cope with this.
Brick In The Wall
2M Or Not 2B.
- Oct 30, 2019
- 25,158
So much words of wisdom for me today. I always look forward to your deep and insightful posts!It's a difficult choice. Having experienced both I wouldn't know which one to choose.
I guess most people would say it's better to have love than not, even if you've lost it.
Of course the benefit of never having love is that you don't know what you're missing because you never had it to begin with.
Once you have it and then you lose it, it just tears you apart.
On the other hand, longing for it and never having it is just as bad in it's own way.
Basically, I guess it all just sucks!
Love is pain. Having no love and longing for it is pain. Having love and losing it is pain.
Which type of pain is worse? I don't know. I think they're equally horrible each in their own way.
We'd all be better off if we were emotionless robots that didn't need to be loved.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
You cope like any mother who gets their child taken away if it indeed happens whether it be for drugs or other reasons.
You work to get well and get your child back. ;)
It will be temporary and you can use that time to get well. It could be a blessing (even though I know you will miss her)
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Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
I really hate that my hands are so shaking so early.... omg I need bloodwork still... and forgot I need to call psychiatrist.... maybe tomorrow... I don't feel like doing it tonight... today is thursday right?
BooGirl
Warlock
- Jan 10, 2020
- 750
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
Today is Thursday and you will do it tonight. We have Presidents Day coming up so we want that appointment.
What's going on? Weather isn't great.I'm gonna be so busy todayyyy
BooGirl
Warlock
- Jan 10, 2020
- 750
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
It takes forever, and I have to go home, then leave home, and backtrack, then wait, then not get home until like 7, then my night's shot... so it's not a good idea.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Oh I meant the bloodwork, I was going to do the call after everything. And be like "yo.... I'm alive! living! I'm like alive!!!!!! doc man, I'm like chill totally balanced" wait no... that's bad... lol seriously though not in a frame of mind to call, I have to be in a good lieing frame of fmind.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
Wuhan evacuee in Texas is the 15th American with coronavirus — Daily Mail
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed Thursday that a patient under quarantine at JBSA-Lackland in Texas has coronavirus, bringing US cases to 15 amid concerns it will spread.
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Yeah just learned that coronovirus patients are being sent to a "safe location " near my town.
Wuhan evacuee in Texas is the 15th American with coronavirus — Daily Mail
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed Thursday that a patient under quarantine at JBSA-Lackland in Texas has coronavirus, bringing US cases to 15 amid concerns it will spread.apple.news
My real worry is the disease hitting a major urban center with an inadequate medical capability. ( I mean more inadequate than normal. :-) )
BooGirl
Warlock
- Jan 10, 2020
- 750
מוות לי!
I've determined that I'm only about A2 in Hebrew. It's starting to get extraordinarily discouraging.
I've determined that I'm only about A2 in Hebrew. It's starting to get extraordinarily discouraging.
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Brick In The Wall
2M Or Not 2B.
- Oct 30, 2019
- 25,158
BooGirl
Warlock
- Jan 10, 2020
- 750
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Keep in mind, this is the Chicago Metropolitan area, with stores, arby's mcdonalds, ER, psych ward, 20+ dendists, like 10 counseling places, a walgreens, CVS, park, and 2 car parts stores, most within a quarter mile of this spot.....
