CynicalHopelessness
Messenger of Silence
- Jan 9, 2020
- 940
I took an hour long nap during my work hours (whoops! but, not feeling guilty in the slightest), so I have a bit of reserve there too
Soulless_Angel
existence is futile
- Jul 10, 2019
- 2,225
honestly I don't know, my head is a mess, I want out, but I am currently waiting for hte time I can get out, but everyone thinks everything is so back to normal and all fine again, and for some reason that's making it really hard for me to take the path I want to take.
I am struggling with who I am, I am struggling who I am as a person, parent and more, I hate who I am, I am struggling with so much, but because its like it was before all the shit kicked off back in April, I feel like if I go and try and do something now then it's stupid, I dunno it's hard to explain! Internally I am a mess but outside its almost like the last few months have never happened, every one is praising me on how amazing everything is going, and how it's great that I have moved on and got over hte shite I have been through and they are glad I no longer have suicidal thoughts and so forth..... arrrghhhhh!!!
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
******* May I Have Your Attention*********
Our very own @Squiddy did it!!! We all know she wanted to go to a partial hospitalization program, and there were obstacles in her way.
Well, our Squidmeister did NOT give up! Her grandmother will be driving her and she starts on Friday at 8 am!!!!
Our very own @Squiddy did it!!! We all know she wanted to go to a partial hospitalization program, and there were obstacles in her way.
Well, our Squidmeister did NOT give up! Her grandmother will be driving her and she starts on Friday at 8 am!!!!
BlueWidow
Visionary
- Oct 6, 2019
- 2,179
Neither has anyone I know who has had bariatric surgery. But apparently I'm supposed to be doing 30 a month without surgery.
Good thing I'm a pro at this eating disorder life.
Brick In The Wall
2M Or Not 2B.
- Oct 30, 2019
- 25,158
I'll be going to sleep folks. Have a good whatever
Have a good night.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
Was too good to last. At least I got everything done. I starting to bounce. :(
BlueWidow
Visionary
- Oct 6, 2019
- 2,179
Yes, I'd say if there was ever a set up for someone with an eating disorder. I can't think of another situation more tailor-made than yours. It feels like they're asking you to do something impossible though. I'm not saying you can't lose weight, but 30 pounds in a month is a very high bar. I hope it all goes well for you and You're eventually able to get your liver surgery.
Brick In The Wall
2M Or Not 2B.
- Oct 30, 2019
- 25,158
I'm glad she got what she was looking for. I hope she's able to make the best of it given the circumstances.
BlueWidow
Visionary
- Oct 6, 2019
- 2,179
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Shy of not eating... like at all... how do they expect someone to lose that much? You'd only be able to eat like broth every day, and nothing else.
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I swear all these TV shows I remember are from 2000... omg how old have I become? I mean sure dinosaurs were cool and feathery and I flew on their backs, but that was just last month right? rofl
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Intermittent Fasting is pretty good for losing weight. I'd recommend it.
Squiddy
Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
- Sep 4, 2019
- 5,903
I will :) and then hopefully in the fall time, I'll be able to transfer colleges
He told me stay under 800 cals a day and work out an hour every morning and an hour every night. except working out makes my liver hurt.
so I'm doing 3 days fasts, eat a meal, fast again, repeat and so on. If I added in working out I may get closer to the 30 but I don't need to rupture my liver.
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Wow... I'd be so hungry if I exercised with so little food, and it'd be unbearable if fasting I'd think!
You're able to do a lot more than I can!
Trust me, it's taking its toll mentally. I cried when they psychiatrist mentioned my magnesium supplements probably have calories in them.
Squiddy
Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
- Sep 4, 2019
- 5,903
Soulless_Angel
existence is futile
- Jul 10, 2019
- 2,225
Does this saying drive anyone else nuts or is it just me? Just had it said to me, context of message was that I haven't had it easy over last few months BUT....
Life is too short to be unhappy
Life is too short to be unhappy
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Hmm... Life is short because we are unhappy.
BlueWidow
Visionary
- Oct 6, 2019
- 2,179
I remember that feeling. I cried for a month when they changed the TicTac formula so that instead of having one and a half calories they had three. Having an eating disorder sucks. You always feel like shit no matter what. Mentally and physically. I'm so sorry. Of course, if my thyroid hadn't made it impossible for me to lose weight, I'd be right there with you trying to starve and exercise myself to death.
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Wait... what? they have 3 calories? I thought they were still lower... granted I don't eat them... but still.
BlueWidow
Visionary
- Oct 6, 2019
- 2,179
Hey, I still remember when TV shows were in black-and-white and there were only three channels. . . and you had to get up and walk across the room if you wanted to change the channel. And we all thought Pong was the most amazing thing we'd ever seen. I could go on and on. . . LOL!
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
Well honestly I remember those things too lol Well granted atari came out, so maybe pong wasn't my first, but shy of that. Seriously it's like I saw/had like Gen1 of so many things.
Really, family had like 75/25 with BW/Color tvs ;)
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
BlueWidow
Visionary
- Oct 6, 2019
- 2,179
The last I knew they had changed the formula and they now have 3 cal each instead of one and a half. They used to have it in the advertising that they were only one and a half calories each. Then they changed the formula sometime in the early 2000's. I'm not sure why they changed it, but the last I knew they still had 3 cal each.
I haven't paid a lot of attention to it recently. Once you have an eating disorder it never goes away and since I can't lose weight no matter what I do, I just have to block all that stuff out because if I didn't I'd probably go swallow all of my SN right now because of how heavy I am. I don't even try to be healthy or anything. I just eat what I want and try not to think about it because thinking about it is too hard. I'm just waiting for the first doctor to complain about my weight. I'm going to tell him to fuck off, in those exact words, and I'm going to get up and walk out of his office.
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
30 min til leaving for test....
Why on earth am I nervous?!? Seriously... makes no sense!
Why on earth am I nervous?!? Seriously... makes no sense!
Squiddy
Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
- Sep 4, 2019
- 5,903
BlueWidow
Visionary
- Oct 6, 2019
- 2,179
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
I'm *redacted* lbs overweight, and just haven't been able to exercise due to physical issues, and now just don't care to.
Squiddy
Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
- Sep 4, 2019
- 5,903
I actually lost 45 lbs at one point in time for my prom, but that was it.
