The Official 2020 Everything But The Kitchen Sink Post

[MysticPerception]

And you're right about the genetic part of it too. I often wonder why they all seem to be able to function normally and make lives for themselves, even if those lives were far from ideal, but they still seem to be able to go on. Like, they were all able to hold down jobs and have families & that kind of thing. I've always struggled with all of that stuff. It always seemed like they were able to deny their feelings and ignore all the horrors that were going on around them and just push on, as where I've never been able to do that.

That is exactly what I feel like. I don't get it myself. My brother has a bunch of friends and despite struggles he manages to get by and has never shown any signs of just wanting to give up or stop really. He just broke through. I'm envious of his social skills that it feels like I should have as well when my father was insanely charismatic and had good enough social skills that he could have been a cult leader if he wanted to. I guess it's a good thing he went towards christianity instead of something else. All my older siblings seem to have a good hold on things. My sister has kids and friends and a great husband and despite clearly having trouble she seems to just deal with daily life as it comes every day and never worries about the grand scheme of things she just keeps going too. I can't do that. I can't just push on like that, I wish I could. I wish I was built as well as they are. I know everyone has their demons and problems but sometimes I feel like I got the short end of the stick the moment I was born when I can't deal like they can.

Something I never told anyone....
when I was probably 4-6 my mom asked me if I wanted a brother or sister, I apparently replied "no" because like why would I? I was being abused at my father's >1 child was bad...
She later said she went in to have 'bubblegum removed from belly'.... told me years later she had an abortion... she made her decision off what I said, she told me she did... I know it totally wasn't my fault (I was a child afterall, and it's not like she told me), but still... and now... well.. really wish the outcome had been different.

Whoa that's messed up. Putting that kind of decision on a child is insane even if they don't know what you're really asking. That's just wrong.

 

[BlueWidow]

You'll be happy to know that I plan on taking a shower today @Jean4. I just have to wait until I wake up a little bit and get a little bit less dizzy. I need at least one cup of coffee first. I don't have a bar in my shower like the one you posted on here previously.
Of course, if I had a bar like that in my shower, I'd be more likely to fall down, not less. LOL!

 

[Carina]

That's a really difficult position to put a child in. It sounds like she wanted to be able to blame someone else for the abortion, or at least fool herself into thinking it wasn't completely her decision.

Yeah, I think a hybrid of those two. I mean yeah she was single, but our family at the time had 3 generations alive, and all within 2 miles--so excellent support)... she's like 100% pro life now... she'd force a woman to have a rapist's baby, even if the rapist was her dad right now.

She even forced her mom to be alive against a DNR... yet gave her dad permission to stop dialysis?but maybe it was because she knew he was stubborn and he was doing it regardless, and he was just saying bye?


Which is why even though I can see her reflection in the kitchen in the monitor, she has no clue about me lol.

 

[Squiddy]

So one of my friend's is in NYC staying at a fancy hotel and I'm completely jealous. I gotta make my way up there again

 

[BlueWidow]

Yeah, I think a hybrid of those two. I mean yeah she was single, but our family at the time had 3 generations alive, and all within 2 miles--so excellent support)... she's like 100% pro life now... she'd force a woman to have a rapist's baby, even if the rapist was her dad right now.

She even forced her mom to be alive against a DNR... yet gave her dad permission to stop dialysis?but maybe it was because she knew he was stubborn and he was doing it regardless, and he was just saying bye?


Which is why even though I can see her reflection in the kitchen in the monitor, she has no clue about me lol.

It's very odd to me how some people have one set of standards for themselves in a completely different set of standards for everyone else.
That's why I have some issue with people who do something, like they become a drug addict or an alcoholic or whatever, and then they go out after they recover and preach to everyone else that they shouldn't do it. And I understand their preaching from their own experience and they're trying to help other people not have the same experience or make the same mistakes that they did, but when I hear things like that my first reaction is always, " Well now that you've had your fun, but you don't want anyone else to go out and have any fun". It's that whole "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" mentality.

 

[Carina]

Whoa that's messed up. Putting that kind of decision on a child is insane even if they don't know what you're really asking. That's just wrong.

Yeah when I found out, despite being pro-choice, I was crushed. I had no idea why she would've put that on me... and then why she would've told me years later! I mean yeah... I was a multiplicative bitch as a kid. I had to be to survive (ironic), still if I had known it wasn't a 'hypothethical in the future' rather a 'hey it's going to happen'.... oh well...

It's very odd to me how some people have one set of standards for themselves in a completely different set of standards for everyone else.
That's why I have some issue with people who do something, like they become a drug addict or an alcoholic or whatever, and then they go out after they recover and preach to everyone else that they shouldn't do it. And I understand their preaching from their own experience and they're trying to help other people not have the same experience or make the same mistakes that they did, but when I hear things like that my first reaction is always, " Well now that you've had your fun, but you don't want anyone else to go out and have any fun". It's that whole "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" mentality.

I think that's one reason why anymore I try to have a 'do whatever you want... ' and then mention things... just to make it seem less hypocritical lol.

Really though after one friend pointed out to me that it was hypocritical of me to have an overdose of pills in me, while in the ER taking a friend to visit her while she was in there for an OD of pills in her... I kind of started just being more supportive than not. Granted her threatening a telling nurses/doctors if I didn't support her really helped with that lol. But still. Ahh the things you do when a teenager rofl.

 

[Squiddy]

 

[Jean4]

Friggen Bipolar bouncing. Ugh. Don't you love it?
Paging
@realjunes
@APharmaDestroyedLife
@L0ne1ygh0st
@Nemeshisu
@Sensei
@Raven Moon

 

[Nemeshisu]

Hello, I am feeling rather very anxious right now...

 

[Jean4]

Hello, I am feeling rather very anxious right now...

We are here, and you aren't the only one. What's going on?

 

[Squiddy]

Hello, I am feeling rather very anxious right now...

What's wrong?

 

[Carina]

Hello, I am feeling rather very anxious right now...

Aww what's wrong?



----------------------------------

I got my taxes done now.

 

[Nemeshisu]

Well, I just found out another member is going to CTB soon. I know its very natural here but I still don't feel very comfortable with this. I was struggling figuring out what to tell her and I am still wondering if I used right words in my PM to her. I don't feel scared of my death but It is scary for me to know that someone is going to leave us soon...

 

[Squiddy]

Aww what's wrong?



----------------------------------

I got my taxes done now.

Another reason why I feel incompetent is because I don't even know how to do taxes (I don't have a job yet, but I feel like I should know)

 

[Jean4]

Well, I just found out another member is going to CTB soon. I know its very natural here but I still don't feel very comfortable with this. I was struggling figuring out what to tell her and I am still wondering if I used right words in my PM to her. I don't feel scared of my death but It is scary for me to know that someone is going to leave us soon...

If you want to pm me, we can talk.

 

[Carina]

Another reason why I feel incompetent is because I don't even know how to do taxes (I don't have a job yet, but I feel like I should know)

Neither do I lol--I just use an online thing, that's just the online version of a software thing... and then I just follow prompts that ask for values from the forms.

it's more data-entry than anything :)

Taxes themselves? Tax professionals have to go back to classes every year for it! Rules change ever year.

 

[Jean4]

Neither do I lol--I just use an online thing, that's just the online version of a software thing... and then I just follow prompts that ask for values from the forms.

it's more data-entry than anything :)

Taxes themselves? Tax professionals have to go back to classes every year for it! Rules change ever year.

I have never done my own taxes in my life.

 

[Sensei]

Paging
@realjunes
@APharmaDestroyedLife
@L0ne1ygh0st
@Nemeshisu
@Sensei
@Raven Moon

Still alive.

 

[Jean4]

Still alive.

Missed you!!!

 

[Nemeshisu]

If you want to pm me, we can talk.

Well, it might be a good idea...

 

[Jean4]

Well, it might be a good idea...

I'm here. ;)

 

[Carina]

I have never done my own taxes in my life.

I never used to... until the price went from free (if didn't need filed) to up to $80 to starting at almost $180 to $360 standard.

I couldn't afford an entire paycheck at the time just to have taxes done. Was kind of forced into it.. Now it costs like $130 because I have to use an upgraded version due to a single thing.. but eh, whatever. Still cheaper.

 

[Thereisnothing]

Well, I just found out another member is going to CTB soon. I know its very natural here but I still don't feel very comfortable with this. I was struggling figuring out what to tell her and I am still wondering if I used right words in my PM to her. I don't feel scared of my death but It is scary for me to know that someone is going to leave us soon...

I feel like this too and dont like it when someone actually goes through with it, makes me feel helpless and although am happy they found peace, just cant get head round the whole thing really.

 

[Jean4]

I feel like this too and dont like it when someone actually goes through with it, makes me feel helpless and although am happy they found peace, just cant get head round the whole thing really.

Trust me. I do understand. Also know, when it's time, it's time. Nothing you say or do will change it. The best thing to do is be supportive and send love. That way, the last thing they feel is love.
@APharmaDestroyedLife checking in. He is officially off the list.

 

[Carina]

I just realized the TV show scrubs was first on tv like 19 years ago.... well that makes me feel old...

 

[WhyIsLife56]

I ended up falling asleep again

 

[Jean4]

I ended up falling asleep again

Sleep is good! Take it when you can get it I always say lol. Friggen insomnia.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

Sleep is good! Take it when you can get it I always say lol. Friggen insomnia.

Ironic really lol
When the ultimate thing that you want is death but you can't even sleep the right way Or at least sleep without waking up in the middle of it.

 

[Squiddy]

I'm thinking of taking a nap

 

[Carina]

Apparently if I mention "sleep" with my best friend... he just assumes I might be trying to kill myself now... like come on... sometimes sleep is just sleep. or he's screwing with me... not sure lol