Discussion The morality of choosing a location

[nool]

In your opinion, is it better to have someone you know find your body or a stranger? Is it morally better to traumatize someone you know or traumatize a stranger? Does it even matter since you'll be gone?

I've been thinking about this a lot. My chosen location still isn't concrete. My current highest option is to close myself in a room, ctb, and leave a note on the outside of the door telling my loved ones not to open it.

I also had the thought to do it in a park. There's multiple state/local parks in my area that I can go to. I could step far off into the woods and go surrounded by nature. Chances of being seen can vary.

People have mentioned time and time again to book a hotel. I considered that as well, but it isn't high on my list of locations. I would definitely be found by someone unsuspecting. I don't know how I'd stop them from walking in without outright giving myself away and being sent to the hospital. I'm not sure if I could put a hotel worker through that.

I want to cause as little issue as possible. But maybe some hurt is inevitable. What do you all think?

 

[Off_Switch]

It's a shame that someone so considerate of others has to CTB.

 

[ma0]

Whether you like it or not, people will find out, and people will be traumatized. It's a pretty difficult question, but a stranger will most likely move past it easier.

That being said, you've definitely put a lot more thought into this than I have, lol. I've personally accepted the fact that I will be found, but I'm trying to delay it as long as possible, but there's only so long you can go missing before people start to notice.

 

[hedezev4]

It seems to me that the best option is in a hotel, ideally in the bathroom. I would leave a note on the bathroom door: "Do not enter, ctb, call the police/ambulance." And if someone do ctb at home with a note on the door, family will still enter and see everything while trying to save.

Another option, for example, is to do it in any private place and schedule a message to the police that I ctb, when it's already too late to save.

 

[Seiba]

It seems to me that the best option is in a hotel, ideally in the bathroom. I would leave a note on the bathroom door: "Do not enter, ctb, call the police/ambulance." And if someone do ctb at home with a note on the door, family will still enter and see everything while trying to save.

Another option, for example, is to do it in any private place and schedule a message to the police that I ctb, when it's already too late to save.

Bathroom would likely be the least traumatic experience for others if the note is respected. Unfortunately, I think dying of SN on a bathroom floor would be very uncomfortable. I've always thought of killing myself at a hotel, but I'd likely do so in bed for some amount of comfort.

 

[hedezev4]

Bathroom would likely be the least traumatic experience for others if the note is respected. Unfortunately, I think dying of SN on a bathroom floor would be very uncomfortable. I've always thought of killing myself at a hotel, but I'd likely do so in bed for some amount of comfort.

Maybe rent a hotel with several rooms and do it in a separate room with a door. Or as a last option, if the entrance door faces the bed, maybe use black opaque film to separate the door from the bed, attaching it to the walls with duct tape. And place a note on the floor(or attach to the black opaque film) between the door and the black film.

 

[Seiba]

Maybe rent a hotel with several rooms and do it in a separate room with a door. Or as a last option, if the entrance door faces the bed, maybe use black opaque film to separate the door from the bed, attaching it to the walls with duct tape. And place a note on the floor(or on the black opaque film) between the door and the black film.

Thank you for the idea. I appreciate it, sincerely.

 

[Busridin'26]

Been thinking about this... was one of mh hesitations in booking a hotel. And now my hesitation to jumping when I really thought about it.

Ideally for me the person to find me is the police? But obv after ive ctb. I dunno it's unfortunate to traumatize others in such a way but an unfortunate part of the reality of ctb. I guess I'm coming to accept it...

It's a pretty heavy feel at times tho. Among all the other things with ctb...

 

[FuneralCry]

Everyone has to die somewhere someday, death is all that's inevitable so I don't see how it matters and anyway if I don't exist then nothing can concern me, all will be gone and forgotten in non-existence anyway, it's just all so futile to me.

 

[Crescendo]

I've put some thought into this myself. I think the most morally sound way to go about choosing a location is to limit exposure to those who are most desensitized to gore. I think the most obvious choice would be police and EMS - authorities likely have seen far worse and would not be affected by it nearly as much as a regular person.

My current highest option is to close myself in a room, ctb, and leave a note on the outside of the door telling my loved ones not to open it.

I highly advise against doing it in your home if you have family living there. If you do it at home, or nearby that home, you will essentially haunt the area afterward for whoever knew you. That's one reason why I plan to drive quite a far distance away.

People have mentioned time and time again to book a hotel. I considered that as well, but it isn't high on my list of locations. I would definitely be found by someone unsuspecting. I don't know how I'd stop them from walking in without outright giving myself away and being sent to the hospital.

How come? Does your method take several days to complete or something? You can just put out the 'do not disturb' sign and lock the door, and they won't open the door on you. Book however much time you feel is necessary.

Like someone else said, you could schedule a text to 9-1-1 informing them so that way the authorities can exclusively deal with it.

 

[derpsie]

I think hotel would be okay, the workers would just open your door forcefully after you've been in there for longer than your documented stay and they'd just glimpse at you limp or dead and run away and call the police. unless you blow your brains out or you seppuku yourself and your guts are hanging out I don't think the workers would be that traumatized. better than a family member trying to give you cpr chest compressions whilst wailing and shaking your dead body for 10 minutes before police are called from just the wails

 

[Xiaojiu]

In your opinion, is it better to have someone you know find your body or a stranger? Is it morally better to traumatize someone you know or traumatize a stranger? Does it even matter since you'll be gone?

I've been thinking about this a lot. My chosen location still isn't concrete. My current highest option is to close myself in a room, ctb, and leave a note on the outside of the door telling my loved ones not to open it.

I also had the thought to do it in a park. There's multiple state/local parks in my area that I can go to. I could step far off into the woods and go surrounded by nature. Chances of being seen can vary.

People have mentioned time and time again to book a hotel. I considered that as well, but it isn't high on my list of locations. I would definitely be found by someone unsuspecting. I don't know how I'd stop them from walking in without outright giving myself away and being sent to the hospital. I'm not sure if I could put a hotel worker through that.

I want to cause as little issue as possible. But maybe some hurt is inevitable. What do you all think?

I'm in the exact same feeling and situation.

I don't want my husband to find me at home, so I'm looking for places to do it at.

But it's hard to find a place because I also feel bad for the person who finds me :(

Idk what to do, I just feel stuck.

Right now, I know that I have to leave in the middle of the night and hopefully find a trailhead that isn't to strenuous to get to and off myself there :(

I've read of accounts of people killing themselves at the ambulance receiving bay of hospitals or in front of fire stations and police stations because they're more trained to handle seeing those things. One man even left in his note: "I didn't want my family to be the first to find me this way." From what I remember, all these were GSW.

I feel like trying to do that with SN or something is not going to work.

 

[CMPIETRZAK]

I like the go off into the woods option. For you. And honestly, if you are really, really far off (not likely in a park), you really might not be found and even if you are, nature will probably have taken its course on your body long before then. But on the other hand, you clearly want to send a goodbye message and you want those people you care about to have closure. Their just having a note but having no proof you are gone leaves them hanging.

I've thought a lot about this myself and I haven't answered my own similar question. Given my reading of your words, I lean towards your arranging for people you know to find you, but not in your own home or a place that would ruin their good memory of you. They suffer pain either way, but I think solid closure for them and their still being able to remember you in the places they knew you best will help them recover faster than anything else.

 

[kopebaldy]

I would prefer it to be a stranger but ultimately, it'll probably be my family who will find my corpse.

Logistically, it's just more convenient for me to do it at home.

 

[cait_sith]

I have no family left so it will be a stranger. If I had the choice of euthanasia no one would have to find me but because I am forced into committing violence against myself there will be collateral damage which will entail someone seeing the result of my actions, finding me in my home. That's what happens when people have no access to euthanasia, not only the person forced into violence suffers but also the witnesses that are unfortunate enough to be in close proximity to the victim, but of course the one having been forced into violence gets the blame in the end and not the laws preventing access to peaceful exits.

 

[DontTouchMeImFamous]

Yea I don't think I care honestly. That's how I feel about it.

But if I had to choose, I will always prefer to never be found. My preferred method is jumping off a high place, like a cliff. I wouldn't leave a note or anything and I would dissappear suddenly just like Richey Edwards. That way no one would ever know that I killed myself. That is my perfect exit.

I have no family left so it will be a stranger. If I had the choice of euthanasia no one would have to find me but because I am forced into committing violence against myself there will be collateral damage which will entail someone seeing the result of my actions, finding me in my home. That's what happens when people have no access to euthanasia, not only the person forced into violence suffers but also the witnesses that are unfortunate enough to be in close proximity to the victim, but of course the one having been forced into violence gets the blame in the end and not the laws preventing access to peaceful exits.

Yea I feel the same way. I wish I was granted a peaceful exit. This is not fair. I wish I had high cliffs near where I live so at least I wouldn't have to die in a closed place. I don't want my body to be found, not bc I care about the people that will find it but bc I cherish my body and I want to be forever free. I don't want a fucking stupid funeral and I don't want to be buried. They don't have the right to do anything with my body. I hate this world.

 

[SilentSadness]

I think the best person to discover your body would be a professional stranger, ideally a medical worker but alternatively hotel staff or similar, because they can clean up effectively without being affected.

 

[gothbird]

I've chosen a location that's remote but still accessible for those who need to find me. It's away from the public and especially children. I will make sure law enforcement is the one to discover me, not a passerby. That's the last thing I want.
I've prepared a short note for the police who will arrive first, because as much as I'd rather no one find me, it's safer this way than leaving it to chance. My family doesn't live in this city, but I want my father to have closure and the only way to guarantee that without harming others is through official channels.
I also won't use a hotel or any place where staff would be responsible for dealing with the aftermath. I just feel like that would only shift the burden to someone who didn't choose it. Unfortunately, there's no way to avoid involving someone if you want to be found but I can limit the harm.
My best option is somewhere in the forest, with exact coordinates and a delayed message to the authorities.

 

[hippiedeath]

Easiest place and the most comfortable would be at home. Second easiest would be a hotel room. I wouldn't like to do either because of the mess to the hotel room, or my family finding me at home. Going deep into the woods would be ideal, maybe intentionally getting lost off trail.

 

[lasttogo]

This is my biggest issue. I absolutely can not stomach the idea of anyone finding me. Stranger, friend, medical professional, it doesn't matter. Even if I die another way or unintentionally, my last thoughts will be how sorry I am to the individual who sees it.

The only thing I can even remotely feel peace with is if it's a cop. I do not like cops at all, and I do not think it's possible to be a "good person" and a cop. Not in the current place I live anyway, of course different places could be different. But I can not ensure it will be a cop.

If I do it in a forest, even deep off the path, it's always possible someone happens to come the same way before the cops get there. Likely even, as they are incompetent and I don't have money to get me to a genuinely secluded and far away place. It's also almost assured the paramedics get there before the police I believe.

If I rent a hotel and leave a note on the door, I am not naive as to think someone won't try to enter. An overconfident cleaner that assumes it's a bad joke, or a min/wage employee who is too scared of their boss to call the cops before making sure it's not a sick joke. Or an employee who does not read English well, or one that just simply didn't look at the door before opening. Or an employee who has never dealt with this before, and in shock, feel the need to open the door in case it is not too late to "save me".

At home it is guaranteed the "do not enter" note will be ignored by living mates in case I can still be saved. And again even if I sent a scheduled message to the cops, the firefighters or EMS would get there before cops did. I don't want anyone to have to see my corpse and be traumatized whether it is ctb or not, but especially not if I go by ctb. I am really stuck on this.

 

[rainatthebusstop]

Honestly, I would prefer it if my body was never found but unfortunately, there aren't many places you could do that around here. Maybe if you hired a hit man and paid extra for corpse disposal? Most ways of making a body disappear unfortunately rely on someone making it disappear.

Anyway I think it'd be easier if it was a stranger that found me. Just a shame most people really can't ctb in a way were you get rid of the body too. That'd be convenient

 

[TBONTB]

I'm in the exact same feeling and situation.

I don't want my husband to find me at home, so I'm looking for places to do it at.

But it's hard to find a place because I also feel bad for the person who finds me :(

Idk what to do, I just feel stuck.

Right now, I know that I have to leave in the middle of the night and hopefully find a trailhead that isn't to strenuous to get to and off myself there :(

I've read of accounts of people killing themselves at the ambulance receiving bay of hospitals or in front of fire stations and police stations because they're more trained to handle seeing those things. One man even left in his note: "I didn't want my family to be the first to find me this way." From what I remember, all these were GSW.

I feel like trying to do that with SN or something is not going to work.

Yes, GSW gives a lot more options for location because a person only needs a a short time.

In your opinion, is it better to have someone you know find your body or a stranger? Is it morally better to traumatize someone you know or traumatize a stranger? Does it even matter since you'll be gone?

I've been thinking about this a lot. My chosen location still isn't concrete. My current highest option is to close myself in a room, ctb, and leave a note on the outside of the door telling my loved ones not to open it.

I also had the thought to do it in a park. There's multiple state/local parks in my area that I can go to. I could step far off into the woods and go surrounded by nature. Chances of being seen can vary.

People have mentioned time and time again to book a hotel. I considered that as well, but it isn't high on my list of locations. I would definitely be found by someone unsuspecting. I don't know how I'd stop them from walking in without outright giving myself away and being sent to the hospital. I'm not sure if I could put a hotel worker through that.

I want to cause as little issue as possible. But maybe some hurt is inevitable. What do you all think?

In your opinion, is it better to have someone you know find your body or a stranger? Is it morally better to traumatize someone you know or traumatize a stranger? Does it even matter since you'll be gone?

I've been thinking about this a lot. My chosen location still isn't concrete. My current highest option is to close myself in a room, ctb, and leave a note on the outside of the door telling my loved ones not to open it.

I also had the thought to do it in a park. There's multiple state/local parks in my area that I can go to. I could step far off into the woods and go surrounded by nature. Chances of being seen can vary.

People have mentioned time and time again to book a hotel. I considered that as well, but it isn't high on my list of locations. I would definitely be found by someone unsuspecting. I don't know how I'd stop them from walking in without outright giving myself away and being sent to the hospital. I'm not sure if I could put a hotel worker through that.

I want to cause as little issue as possible. But maybe some hurt is inevitable. What do you all think?

I appreciate reading everyone's thoughts. This has definitely pushed me towards hotel.

I have a friend who was the first person to come across someone who had CTB on a forest trail. My friend was certainly upset, but not traumatized deeply...they went on with their life fine. Obviously a family member will have trauma no matter what, but I think it's better for them not to have that image of possible. And as someone else mentioned the "haunting" would be true for neighbors as well.

 

[nuva]

Considering that I now live in a different city, far from my friends and family, I don't have much of a choice. I would definitely leave a note with a warning for the hotel worker.
Although I still feel a little ashamed of the future mess it will cause. If I had the chance, I wouldn't want to cause any problems for anyone.

 

[TAW122]

Personally, I would have if we lived in an idealistic, pro-choice society instead of a prohibitive, pro-life, anti-CTB society. Objectively speaking, I couldn't (because I would no longer exist nor have the capacity once I'm dead) care if I had CTB'd successfully and while it would be ideal to choose a location discreet and take into the many factors, I would not wish to complicate or even compromise my attempt to CTB as it is already insanely difficult to plan, acquire, and even fight my own SI/preservation instinct to successfully CTB. It would be counterproductive and even idiotic for me to make things more complicated and difficult than it should be. If I am going towards my attempt I want to, above all else, succeed. No half-measures or any half-hearted attempts as that only makes things worse (a failed attempt may be even worse than an non-attempt especially for the consequences that come after).

 

[Bitterman1996]

honestly, if it's a hotel, i would prefer if it's a high end chain hotel so the building isn't essentially condemned or judged, in asia, especially where there is a lot of superstition being believed by people, i feel like it would be more detrimental to the business if it's like a small business hotel yk..

If corpse tampering isn't a crime, maybe a request of suicide disposal/burial would be a thing

 

[ShipSeeksHarbour]

Honestly? I'd want to do it somewhere I'd be found quite quickly, or have it be pretty public - and to specific people

I guess I'd want to make a point to the systems that have hurt me, and to the people around them.

maybe that's inconsiderate or vengeful. But it's other people who have driven me to this point and I want them to know, want them to feel guilty.

Though that might be better with a well-written and distributed note to be honest, rather than traumatising people via a public method

 

[Raindancer]

Ideally I'd rather not be found. I don't have much close family left to worry and wonder. But that is not an easy task. About a year ago people thought of interesting ways not to be found, but I can't find that post.

 

[tooBadTooLate]

I want to be found by my relatives, preferably my dad. As empathetic as I am, I also want to give him one last "fuck you" to him. Maybe it might serve as a warning as well as a head on a pike would regarding his emotional distance. I might be dead, but I want my death to mean something to him and how he'd treat my sibling in the future, damn it.