The horrors of ugliness

[HappyForever?]

If you've been ugly or even average you are probably already too familiar with the feeling. The feeling that you'll never be loved for who you are, you'll never be loved the way an attractive person is.
No one will fall in love at first sight with you.
You will always be struggling to prove your worth, but failing miserably in the process.
You will never feel the security that you can always find a romantic partner whenever you wish.
You will always have to be the initiator, the one who has to risk rejections to have any chance at finding love.
You will never be anyone's first choice, the one that girls chase after at all costs.
You will never experience a memorable teenage love as intense as a raging fire.
You will never know what a mutual crush feels like, only the emptiness of unrequited love.
You will never be free from the loneliness that devours all hope, leaving death the only way out.
And worst of all, you will be trapped in the flesh prison, doing a life sentence for a crime that you did not commit.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Maybe I'm strange, but I don't wanna be loved for who I am….. I wanna be beautiful and smart and kind and successful. I wanna be somebody else…..

I'm sorry you're going through this. Nobody deserves feeling so crappy. I hear people say, we can be happy dedicating ourselves to our jobs, hobbies, pets, traveling. I don't know how it all works. To me it's apples and oranges. You can't substitute one thing with another….
I wish I could say something positive to you, but I really don't know what….. I'm sorry.

Please, don't be sad….

 

[summers]

@lonelyuglyguy44 unless you are a model, and/or very wealthy/famous, you will have to initiate with females almost all the time. Just how things work. Even well above average guys have to chase girls.

Also, I don't know how a mutual crush would work. Is that two people who are attracted to one another, but neither knows the other one likes them? Sounds like something out of a movie/book. If you like someone, just go for it and talk to them. Worst that can happen is they're not interested. But you never know...

 

[forgotten15]

I am so sorry you are suffering. I have been bullied so many times when I was a child because other kids considered me ugly. Even in my family I had people telling me I was ugly. So I know how bad this hurts and how worthless it makes you feel. People are so superficial, there shouldn't even exist the concept beautiful- ugly. This caused so many people suffering. I hate life so much but one thing is sure, people made this Earth the living hell it is. If everyone would just be kind with the ones surrounding them, this life would be bearable.

 

[HappyForever?]

@lonelyuglyguy44 unless you are a model, and/or very wealthy/famous, you will have to initiate with females almost all the time. Just how things work. Even well above average guys have to chase girls.

Also, I don't know how a mutual crush would work. Is that two people who are attracted to one another, but neither knows the other one likes them? Sounds like something out of a movie/book. If you like someone, just go for it and talk to them. Worst that can happen is they're not interested. But you never know...

I hope it is the case, but I've seen too many girls fawning over an attractive guy who was just passing by.

I said the mutual crush part to highlight that we <=average people can hardly if ever find someone with mutual attraction.

 

[xLosthopex]

When I was in secondary school(high school) I was ugly and unpopular, so I know what it's like(was never overweight or deformed so not like to the point I would 'stand out').. but anyway I guess you could say I had a very significant 'glow up' to the point I'm pretty much unrecognizable to people I knew in school if I were to bump into them now, and I actually have a job that relies on me being physically attractive so I've been on both sides of the coin
And while I definitely think my 'glow up' has created a lot more opportunities for me and made some aspects of my life better/easier it's absolutely not the be all and end all, I'm still here after all, ie wanting to CTB

 

[HappyForever?]

When I was in secondary school(high school) I was ugly and unpopular, so I know what it's like(was never overweight or deformed so not like to the point I would 'stand out').. but anyway I guess you could say I had a very significant 'glow up' to the point I'm pretty much unrecognizable to people I knew in school if I were to bump into them now, and I actually have a job that relies on me being physically attractive so I've been on both sides of the coin
And while I definitely think my 'glow up' has created a lot more opportunities for me and made some aspects of my life better/easier it's absolutely not the be all and end all, I'm still here after all, ie wanting to CTB

Being attractive may not solve all problems, but being ugly certainly causes many. And unlike you, most if not all of my problems are directly or indirectly caused by unattractiveness.
Anyway, I hope that you succeed in doing whatever you want to do, be it ctb or recovery.

 

[Bärchen]

Yea i am too. But i see it different now.
I see marriages or relationships falling apart everywhere, be it family or work. Here around 40% of marriages getting divorced, plus all the shitty relationships that arent working.
I have nothing to show for, no car (dont need one), all my hobbys i can do alone and i dont want all the stuff normal people want.
Like travel, own a house, marriage, kids and so on.
I am fine playing videogames, working out at the gym and have peace. Even if i ctb one day, nobody will give a shit and thats how i want it.

Finding a girl/woman is like a fulltime job for the average guy, keeping the relationship is even worse.
All the mgtow/blackpill stuff is slowly creeping into mainstream and my guess is by 2030 most of the male population will never have a gf and sex only with prostitutes.

 

[Stuckaf2]

Yea i am too. But i see it different now.
I see marriages or relationships falling apart everywhere, be it family or work. Here around 40% of marriages getting divorced, plus all the shitty relationships that arent working.
I have nothing to show for, no car (dont need one), all my hobbys i can do alone and i dont want all the stuff normal people want.
Like travel, own a house, marriage, kids and so on.
I am fine playing videogames, working out at the gym and have peace. Even if i ctb one day, nobody will give a shit and thats how i want it.

Finding a girl/woman is like a fulltime job for the average guy, keeping the relationship is even worse.
All the mgtow/blackpill stuff is slowly creeping into mainstream and my guess is by 2030 most of the male population will never have a gf and sex only with prostitutes.

But there is still joy to these troubles... if u were ok with being alone of ugly you wouldn't be here. When these guys marry they don't sign up for suffering. There is a chance it happens. If we should be scared of the future then why study why work why why etc.. I think most people here are suicidal becusss there is no hope to fix anything.

 

[Midgardsorm]

@A_miStake_of_NATURE

I don't know about successful. But beautiful, smart and kind, you are. You have my word.

@lonelyuglyguy44

Yes. That's what I experienced my whole life. I'm 34 now. Never had a girlfriend. I was mocked and bullied on school and even by some friends.

A lot of women, co workers, friends have already tried to offer me "advices" to get a girlfriend and some were like "You need to get a tan, work out, do some changes in your appearance."

After being rejected countless times I learned the things of the pickup artists, but never used because it felt like I was manipulating people, which I hate to do so.

Yeah. I really know how it is.
You always be the friendly guy that people laughed if you even when try to tease with a friend.
Any person in a relationship feel superior to you and actually even you feel that they are superior.

Some people are completely indifferent to relationships or feel that they are better on their own. But most of the times, those people already been in a relationship and are beautiful and can be in a relationship whenever they wish.

Some people, like me for instance, never been on a relationship. Never feel like they will be on one and developed serious depression, inferiority complex and a lot of other problem because of it.

We are social creatures.
We are meant to love and be loved.

Nature in it's evilness and indifference create people that are meant to die in loneliness. Failed experiments.
Natural selection, survival of the fittest.
No matter what we do, we can't control nature.

I unfortunately have accepted that and it's one of the reasons I crave for death. I was destined to die in loneliness from the beginning.

And I'm NOT gonna change who I am. I'm tired of trying to "learn to be someone else".
I'm tired of the "Attitude and Confidence" bs...

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Yes it is brutal. Normies will never understand what years/decades of being unwanted does to a person.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am horrified when I look in mirrors and I try to avoid them. However if I was beautiful it would feel wrong. How physically unattractive I am matches how I feel on the inside. For me the true ugliness lies within. I know that the way you look can certainly affect the way that others treat you. People can be so cruel and judgemental. I avoid people at all costs. I'm sorry you are suffering. None of us asked for this life in the first place, I see it as a curse to be born.

 

[Stuckaf2]

And the worst thing is they still dismiss you and act like it's all in your head!!

 

[Snake of Eden]

And the worst thing is they still dismiss you and act like it's all in your head!!

I was gaslit most of my life to think it is all in my head and I believed it until later on when I start paying attention to how people actually are. I feel so dumb for falling for it for so long. I really wanted to believe it is in my head too but it isnt and it never was

 

[Beau]

Physical beauty is like a currency - it can get you some things. Just like rich, ugly guys, with no redeeming personal qualities, can buy trophy wives.

I am sorry you have suffered like this.

 

[Ego Sum Medusa]

one thing is sure, people made this Earth the living hell it is. If everyone would just be kind with the ones surrounding them, this life would be bearable.

Preach. I absolutely agree with this. It sure as hell wasn't the whales and not even the dolphins, pervs that they are.

I also agree with your statement about, "the ones surrounding them;" that's how you save the world, in my humble opinion, not by trying to safe *the world,* but by helping the person next to you. Could not agree more. :)

Being attractive may not solve all problems, but being ugly certainly causes many. And unlike you, most if not all of my problems are directly or indirectly caused by unattractiveness.
Anyway, I hope that you succeed in doing whatever you want to do, be it ctb or recovery.

I just feel compelled to add here that I have been what most people consider beautiful for most of my life (I was chubby in school), and it has never, not once saved me. Actually, it's done me more harm than good.

I am blessed to be married to a wonderful man and have been doubly so in that I have had an amazing LD boyfriend (Poly-amorous) for 5.5 years now. But I would not call either one of them Tom Cruise look a-likes. In fact, I am drawn to less attractive men because they tend to be kind, considerate, caring, real, patient, Loving!

I just wanted to throw that in. There are women out there who *prefer* less attractive men. AND I agree with the other poster who mentioned that there isn't or shouldn't be a line of demarcation between who is attractive and not so. But that is another discussion.

I'm sorry for your pain, of course, you know this; that's why we're here.

 

[Maaizr]

And the worst thing is they still dismiss you and act like it's all in your head!!

big flapjack facts, my guy lmao the gaslighting is very real

 

[Superdeterminist]

Lookism is real.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Lookism is real.

It is the worst when we judge ourselves for being unattractive or ugly. It is worse than other people judging us for it. It ruins you as a person. I had such a self hate because of it since being young and it only got worse as i hit puberty and through my adult years. I keep getting uglier

 

[summers]

In fact, I am drawn to less attractive men because they tend to be kind, considerate, caring, real, patient, Loving!

I just wanted to throw that in. There are women out there who *prefer* less attractive men. AND I agree with the other poster who mentioned that there isn't or shouldn't be a line of demarcation between who is attractive and not so. But that is another discussion.

Honestly, in my opinion, what you just said is worse than being ignored. I would never want anyone to be interested in me because I'm LESS attractive. You can try to deny this, but that means there wasn't a physical chemistry right off the bat. Probably means that you had a friendship that evolved into a relationship.

I would always prefer someone (male or female) wants to fuck me first, then get to know me (or not).

 

[TheHatedOne]

It hurts when conventionally attractive people have everything lying at their nose while us the ugly ones have to constantly "improve" and "work" on ourselves and even then basic common sense from others isn't guaranteed, let alone some care and love.

 

[summers]

It is the worst when we judge ourselves for being unattractive or ugly. It is worse than other people judging us for it. It ruins you as a person. I had such a self hate because of it since being young and it only got worse as i hit puberty and through my adult years. I keep getting uglier

Depends on if what you dislike about yourself can be changed. If it's something like weight, build, complexion, teeth, hair, that can all be fixed. There's nothing wrong with seeing flaws in yourself and choosing to change them. Harder is when it's height, facial structure, tone of voice, or developmental issues. The things that can't really be fixed can drive you crazy, or into depression.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Depends on if what you dislike about yourself can be changed. If it's something like weight, build, complexion, teeth, hair, that can all be fixed. There's nothing wrong with seeing flaws in yourself and choosing to change them. Harder is when it's height, facial structure, tone of voice, or developmental issues. The things that can't really be fixed can drive you crazy, or into depression.

Yes it is all things that I cant fix. The ones i could fix and i worked on helped me for sometime in my life but that needs constant care and high maintainance and i stopped caring at this point in life because the returns have diminished. Now i am just aging badly and i dont care anymore

 

[Deformationalplagio]

If you've been ugly or even average you are probably already too familiar with the feeling. The feeling that you'll never be loved for who you are, you'll never be loved the way an attractive person is.
No one will fall in love at first sight with you.
You will always be struggling to prove your worth, but failing miserably in the process.
You will never feel the security that you can always find a romantic partner whenever you wish.
You will always have to be the initiator, the one who has to risk rejections to have any chance at finding love.
You will never be anyone's first choice, the one that girls chase after at all costs.
You will never experience a memorable teenage love as intense as a raging fire.
You will never know what a mutual crush feels like, only the emptiness of unrequited love.
You will never be free from the loneliness that devours all hope, leaving death the only way out.
And worst of all, you will be trapped in the flesh prison, doing a life sentence for a crime that you did not commit.

Im deformed give me ugly every day and i wont be here

 

[HappyForever?]

Im deformed give me ugly every day and i wont be here

Fuck genetics. I wish everyone come out of a cloning vat.

 

[comfortingdeath]

I know how you feel. I know what is the feeling of never being loved, especially since i've had a crush on a girl for years she never felt the same way about me, and i'm sure that it's because I'm not attractive.
It is hard, painful, and a trauma that is one of the reasons that made me want to CTB.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I once thought of a society where every human is killed and humanity is now clones of Chris Hemsworth and Scarlett Johansson.

Whatever divergence, whatever diseases, whatever everything.

Just make everyone good looking and able bodied.

 

[agate]

I think many of us here can probably relate, at a minimum many of us here will suffer from low-self esteem? If it's any consolation I'm 49 and only ever had 3 'serious' relationships, of which one was abusive and another one was very long-distance. I also ALWAYS have felt like 'the ugly odd one out' , wherever I go . Maybe it's part of what draws us to want to CTB. And off course loneliness, when have I ever not felt lonely. If you ever feel like chatting just send me a message, I will reply.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

If you've been ugly or even average you are probably already too familiar with the feeling. The feeling that you'll never be loved for who you are, you'll never be loved the way an attractive person is.
No one will fall in love at first sight with you.
You will always be struggling to prove your worth, but failing miserably in the process.
You will never feel the security that you can always find a romantic partner whenever you wish.
You will always have to be the initiator, the one who has to risk rejections to have any chance at finding love.
You will never be anyone's first choice, the one that girls chase after at all costs.
You will never experience a memorable teenage love as intense as a raging fire.
You will never know what a mutual crush feels like, only the emptiness of unrequited love.
You will never be free from the loneliness that devours all hope, leaving death the only way out.
And worst of all, you will be trapped in the flesh prison, doing a life sentence for a crime that you did not commit.

I did a search JUST to find your thread because I'd seen mention of it while I was on another page... I can't say anything to make this better. You share another way life can be searingly painful. And a way, I think, people are no longer entitled to discuss. Well, except in a space like this one. Just wanted to add to your chorus of support. BEAR-HUG.

I once thought of a society where every human is killed and humanity is now clones of Chris Hemsworth and Scarlett Johansson.

Whatever divergence, whatever diseases, whatever everything.

Just make everyone good looking and able bodied.

Thanks for making me laugh tonight! Just imagine a world where everyone looks the same! :)

 

[Makko]

I remember a legal scandal related to a rape case. Evidence was vague and he should have been acquitted. Then something interesting happened. The court's reasoning boiled down to "this guy is so ugly that surely no woman would sleep with him voluntarily. Therefore guilty."